30 June - 6 July 2025
I don't actually have a lot of pictures from this past week. I have a picture of my desk before and after I cleaned it, but I'm not sure I need to post that for y'all to see... so I included a picture of my new logo, which I spent last Sunday evening finalizing. I really like how it turned out, and I'm excited to continue to create a legacy of content that I can be proud of. The biggest thing I learned/was reminded of this week was the importance of good, better, best. How if my attention is split among so many "good" things, I am missing what is best. As I was reading in The Book of Mormon about the Nephites protecting their smaller cities around Zarahemla, the thought came to me how the Lamanites were able to march right into their mainland and take it over because of their split attention. The Nephites thought their big city was strong enough and so intimidating that their enemies wouldn't dare. I feel like lately (and even my whole life, but especially right now in the rebranding process and juggling all my hobbies and wants), that is me. My attention is split in so many different areas that none of it is feeling great or satisfying, and it's giving the adversary access to take over my mainland as it gets neglected. I have a tendency to want to keep all my doors open, to take on many things and be independent, and I've struggled with this for a while. It can lead me to burnout so quickly. I was reminded today in church that when we give up things that we think will be so hard and painful to give up, we have the Lord on our side who can take away the pain and difficulty so that it is much easier to give it up than we thought, and that we will then be filled with so much more fulfillment and peace than before. One thing that has contributed to my brain feeling like it is turning into rot is the almost constant need to be filling my attention with something. When I'm eating, or driving, or doing my skincare, or going to the bathroom (sorry, TMI for you), then I "need" to be listening to an audiobook or watching a show. If I didn't have many things planned in my day, my free hours would easily fill up with watch time or even good things that are more about staying busy than connecting me closer to God. The more I engage, the more I want to keep engaging because I want to distract myself from the feeling of "boredom" and the more I need that next stimulant kick. But I'm realizing how much that is taking my focus from Jesus Christ and leaving me less space and room to ponder and be inspired by Christ. Also, when I did get a revelation or thought, I never left myself enough space and time to follow through. So, today I was fasting for the ability to be able to "align" everything in my life. To be more centered and focused on Jesus Christ, even if that includes sacrificing other things. This week, I'm going to work on creating more intentionally still times. To eat and drive, etc., in peace and give more space in my brain for stillness and God's revelations. I do want to spend more time in the scriptures and have deeper, better studies, but one thing at a time. As I allow more space, then the next step will be filling that with the things God inspires me with.
This past week, I had pretty much a "full" case load, around 20 clients between my two sites, which made me very happy. It wasn't long ago that I was wondering if I'd ever be full-time. I have noticed that I am more exhausted than usual, but it's in a good way and my "rest" feels more earned and deserved and restful. Plus, I wasn't as exhausted as I thought I'd be/was exhausted in a different way than I expected. I had energy to make it through my clients and even some energy at the end of the day to engage in a few relaxing things before going to bed, but I think by the end of the week, I was just super exhausted overall, which then made it hard when I had my temple shift Saturday morning. I never regret serving, and I make it through each time, but it has become a bit of a burden on me, but I feel like I was prompted to start, and it's been over six months and I've been doing great, and there's a time and season for everything. Plus, I miss being a patron. And I really just need to stop feeling pulled in so many directions, so I'm trying to simplify. I prayed and felt good about being able to stop working this fall and go back to being a patron. I think I don't give myself enough credit for the good I do, and I'm just stuck feeling guilty and inadequate for not doing MORE which is just dumb. Why feel guilty for quitting the temple when 1) I followed through with the prompting to serve in the first place and dedicated several months to it, 2) I can always go back and serve more in other seasons of my life, and 3) I will still be serving in the temple as a patron. It'll all work out.
Well, the only thing to really report on from this past week is the fourth of July. The rest of the week was same old, same old. I worked during the day, and when I got home, Grandma and Grandpa Burnham were already over, as was Gracelyn (mom had been watching her all day). We had hot dogs and potato salad, socialized a bit, then Sean wanted to watch some episodes of a show he introduced to me, then I went to bed (right around the time fireworks first started going off, tbh, since I had my temple shift the next morning). I made it through a super long week, where some of my days were filled with 5 or 6 hours of clients, along with other things that made the days extra long (such as FHE in the evening on Monday or 6 hours subbing in the temple on Tuesday before 5 clients, etc). No wonder I just feel so burnt out and exhausted right now. Maybe with some time to relax and recover, I may feel differently about other things.
Also, I wanted to mention that I did bear my testimony in church today, and I felt really proud of myself and told God that it was a sign of my love for Him and an honor to be able to testify of Him.
Much love,
Emily Burnham
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