Merry Christmas!

 19 December - 25 December 2022

I had this entire week off from both school and work, so I tried to stay productive by studying for my MFT exam next year, painting, and practicing piano. I was not as productive as I would have liked to imagine, but I did my best. I played racquetball in the late afternoon with the girls in my family plus Andrew and Zeb. I actually played pretty well! I'd say the best I've done so far! That evening for FHE, we decorated gingerbread houses. I sat at a table with three other guys who are sometimes socially awkward and did my best to make it fun. Our creation fell apart shortly after we put it on the stage to be judged at the end. Oh well!

Tuesday was filled with cleaning! I swept and mopped and cleaned up junk to help mom prepare for the annual Burnham Christmas party where Val hosts the games. I got to sneak some food for dinner, yum yum! I spied on the party antics and got to live vicariously through the fun they had. They LOVED the "Elf Yourself" video Valerie created of them and enjoyed playing telephone charades. Kim got some pretty funny videos of the family playing that game.

On Wednesday, I went to Kelli's house at noon to go over everything I'd need to know for dog sitting for a week. She bought me a bunch of snacks and showed me the ropes (literally, if you count the dog leashes as ropes... hehe). I'd have to spend the nights at her house. Fortunately for me, (sadly for her), I found out the next day that her flight got canceled and she did not need me anymore. That evening, Charly hosted everyone over to watch The Muppet's Christmas Carol. It was an okay movie, but the best part of the evening was definitely the company. And Charly had some pretty awesome snacks, including gluten and dairy-free options for me! So kind! Cadence, who had asked me on a date at the ward Christmas party, was there, along with Amber, Brittany, and Jasen. I sat down on the corner of the couch, Jasen sat on my right side, and Cadence sat on the ledge in front of me, which was kind of awkward for obvious reasons. I really enjoyed talking with and interacting with Jasen. He showed us all a game he was addicted to called STOP and got us all playing it. We also made fruit roll-up tattoos on our tongues. At the end of the night, we watched Brittany's pet iguana/lizard eat a small worm. It looked so cool! It had spots like a cheetah! Also, there was a tender moment that happened. So before, Jasen said he hated iceskating and wouldn't go even if I asked him (like on a date), and later he said he only went in the past if he had a crush on a girl/liked her enough. I felt like that was a subtle (or not so subtle) way of saying he didn't like me, which hurt, though I think he thought I was sad just because he didn't want to go iceskating (this was on Dec 11th and he didn't text me for an entire week. Granted, I didn't text him either, but that was because I'd been the last person to text and had been the one initiating the previous week, and so I took a hint to stop texting him since it sounded like he didn't like me anymore, and sure enough, it felt confirmed when he didn't text me for an entire week, but then he kind of acted like nothing happened when I saw him on Sunday so I followed his lead and am trying to match him. And it seems like he maybe likes me again? Like maybe he missed me? I don't know. But I guess that's all part of it). So, with all of that background, this next part will make more sense: I'd invited our group chat of people to go iceskating on Thursday because Lucy, her friends, and Andrew wanted to go. At the movie night, Jasen asked if I was still willing to help teach a hopeless cause and said he would be willing to go. It made me feel really good because it felt like an apology/him saying he did like me enough to go with me. He didn't end up coming to skate because he had to do chores before he left out of town later that day, and he said he'd be super late, and I said we should just reschedule because fresh ice is paramount to having a postitive skating experience. He texted me after and said that even though he's only had negative experiences skating, "after careful consideration," skating with me might actually be a fun/good experience. So we'll see if that happens. Oh, plus he texted me on Monday that he still wanted to watch the last episode of Merlin together, but the ball is in his court to plan a time and it hasn't happened yet. 

Anyway, so skating on Thursday was pretty fun. Only one person from my friend group came, Cadence. He wasn't doing so good, but did a bit better after one of the workers offered to tighten his skates. I felt obligated to stay with him for the majority of the time, so it honestly would have been a bit more fun if I hadn't felt that way. The funnest part was towards the end when all of us got together in the middle circle and I was helping teach everyone different tricks and showing off. I did some BOMB spins! Usually they're pretty hard for me, but I was doing so well staying on the sweet point. Lucy also had a super fun time! So overall, it was good! Afterwards, Cadence wanted to go on our date to get Acai bowls. Then we stopped by and got fries at Smashburgers after, and then my mom invited him to go play racquetball with us, and it was his first time playing while actually knowing the rules. Cadence was a gentleman and very kind, but I didn't click with him like I have with other guys.

I went to the temple to do initiatories on Friday. We went out for dinner as a family, but Garcias was SO packed that we wouldn't have time to eat there and make it to the David Archuleta concert on time, so we tried looking for another place on our way home but nothing worked out. Mom was so sad and grumpy. But a blessing in disguise happened because a tamale guy had come by to sell us tamales, and mom had told grandpa to pay him since we weren't home, so when we got home, fresh tamales were waiting for us! And they were delish! And the best part was that they didn't hurt my tummy that night or the next day!! Then we left that evening, me, mom, Val, and Lu, to go to David Archy's concert. The poor guy sounded a bit sick, like a sore throat, but he still did good. Lucy was a punk and had to be bribed into going because she wasn't feeling too well, so on the way home, we had to stop at Frys to get her sushi.

Saturday was Christmas Eve. I wrote the sweetest note for Lucy and wrapped dad a present. I'm becoming frustrated with trying to get my new computer working. There are aspects of it that I think will be amazing, but I'm having trouble getting the basic things to work, like storage and downloading Microsoft word. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There went all my frustration... well, most of it, anyway. Oh yeah, so most of my Saturday was spent blending up gluten-free flour. We also got to watch Gracelyn in the afternoon while Aaron and Bri went riding. She's adorbs as always! It's actually super funny because she looks more bald than when she was born except for this patch of long hair at the back bottom of her head, so we joke that she has a mullet. We ate breakfast for dinner.

Sunday was Christmas! I tried on some of my new makeup products. We watched the nativity video as per tradition, then had monkey bread (I had leftover GF waffles from the previous night). We opened presents, and I knew I wasn't getting much, but I was still surprised that I didn't have any presents to open under the tree! I had one. But then, Val found two other ones for me, hidden waaayyyy in the back. I got two things I didn't expect. My most expensive gift, though, were massage coupons!! Which were hiding in my stocking. SO pumped to use them!! My absolute favorite part of Christmas was watching Lucy read the card I wrote her. She cried. Like, tears running down her face, shoulders shaking, sobbing. When she was done reading it, she gave me a big hug, the longest hug she's ever given me. It was SO precious. Valerie also got teary-eyed reading my card too. So tender. I love my sisters times a million!! Aaron and Bri came over with the baby while we were opening presents. They got all the girls in the family a dress. We took the CUTEST pictures of Gracelyn! I just love that little human so very much. Val and I drove to church together, which NEVER happens cuz she's always having to go early for ward council. We sang hymns the whole time with some Christmas scriptures read between each song. It would have been fine but I sat next to someone who sang so loud that my ear started hurting on that side...! When we got back, we had Christmas lunch with our whole family, including Sean and Symantha and Grandpa and Aaron and Bri and the babe. That was pretty much it. I napped for a bit, we had cheesecake, everyone left, then we chilled for the rest of the night. Mom and dad went over to Kim's house, but me and my sistas did not feel like socializing anymore. We were just kinda bored. But when mom and dad got home, we played Code Names and then watched It's a Wonderful Life (but I got bored and went to bed about halfway in). So yup, that was Christmas!

Symantha loved the "Elf Yourself" vid Val made for her.

Gracelyn didn't particularly care about the present, but she loves smiling back at me!

Look, I got a present to open!

Mini photoshoot cuz we felt cute

After church selfie

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Rock Lobster

12 December - 18 December 2022

Monday evening, we played "Stump the Bishopric" for FHE. Everyone was asked to bring an object--the more random, the better. The bishopric then had to relate said-object to the gospel. It was super cheesy, but the fun part was seeing all the random objects people brought. I brought my iron man paper weight thing that was given to me on my birthday while I was a missionary in Brewton, AL, but they never got to my object. I've been good at socializing this week and talking with lots of people! 

On Tuesday, I met with my site supervisor, Michele, to go over some questions and concerns I had about starting my internship. We took the whole hour to talk and did not get to everything, but I left feeling more informed and reassured about starting my internship. I will have a couple of weeks to ease into it and will start with individuals. She will pay for me to attend an couples externship before I start meeting with couples and families. It was kind of awkward that she didn't realize I was a marriage and family therapist intern. I believe she thought I was an individual professional counselor, so when she realized, she said, "Oh, I'm going to have to re-think the clients I give to you!" She is crazy busy and doing so much good that some things may slip through the cracks, but I have confidence the most important things will not and I'll be able to have a successful internship. That evening, I drove to Mesa for a CPR training. I passed! So now I am CPR and BLS/First Aid certified! But hopefully I won't need to use those skills. 

On Wednesday, I didn't have work. Jill told me Tuesday was my last day of the year. Mom and I went to Shelli's house for a hair appointment, to get all prettied up, as mom likes to say. Shelli told me to put coconut oil in my hair after I shower. So, cheers to hair health. That evening, we had our Relief Society Christmas party at Brianna's house. It was pretty fun! We watched Three Wise Men and a Baby, which was pretty cute. There was lots of yummy treats. I spoke with lots of sisters and made sure to say hi to them all. 

My hair style on Sunday. You can see the touched-up highlights Shelli did.

Thursday morning, I went to the temple to do an endowment session with a few other people from the ward. I felt SO peaceful and happy after. I was just in such a good mood, I couldn't even tell ya. I felt such peace and contentment and excitement about my future. I drove to the Mesa office to carpool with Kelli and Jill to Scottsdale for our Christmas party work lunch. We went to Maggiano's Little Italy, a fancy restaurant that did not have many good options for me. I got gluten-free noodles with dairy cheese sauce, because I figured those side effects would be better than acid reflux from red sauce. Fun times. We chatted for an hour (maybe more!!) before our food arrived, and we all got a Christmas envelope, which contained a bonus. Last year I got a $100 bill. This year... I got four times that amount! Hooray for bosses who love to spread the wealth and invest in their employees! Thursday evening, I attended institute and we had a really great discussion about hope. My favorite definition of hope is using it as a mindset to feel and express joy now for promised blessings we haven't yet received but know will come. We don't have to wait to be happy until after we get those blessings. We can live in anticipation and excitement as if they've already come.

Friday morning, I drove out to Mesa to help set up for a lady who hosts a Christmas event for children in foster homes. I set up a butt-load of chairs and tables, and I think we surprised the lady by how quickly we finished everything up! I went to a friend's house to pick up a piece of pottery as a Christmas gift in the afternoon. I got this blueish greenish glazed bowl, which I am going to use to hold papers for group games and stuff. That evening, I attended the Mulcahy Christmas party (Michele and her husband hosted one for all of us interns working in her office). I arrived on time (6pm) and felt a bit out of place because Michele was back getting ready, so I was just in the kitchen as her husband prepped food, and the next people didn't arrive until 6:30pm! Then the last few people came between then and 7pm. Michele and her husband are big wine/alcohol drinkers and have their own wine cellar. They were so disappointed by everyone who just asked for water (lol, which included me). We all chatted and ate appetizers for another hour/hour and a half, then had dinner. It was really good! We had steak and potatoes and vegetables. There were gluten-free cookies and chocolates for dessert. Then we had a white elephant gift exchange. I brought a $25 Cheesecake Factory gift card, which people kept stealing from each other, so that was good. The funniest thing was that I ended up with a bottle of wine and a wine chiller. No one stole it from me! At the end, Michele felt bad because she knew I didn't drink wine. She asked, "Do you know anyone who drinks wine?" I thought for a moment and started to say "no" before abruptly saying, "Yes! You!!" and I got up and gave it to her. She traded me gifts (she'd gotten a $25 Texas road house gift card). Even though we were there for about 4.5 hours, it didn't seem too long. We all got along pretty great and had an enjoyable time. I'm pumped to get to work with these people!

Saturday I felt so sluggish. Whatever I'd been eating the past couple of days caught up to me and I felt dead inside. So tired and achy. My stomach hurt after the Mulcahy dinner when I went to bed, so I probably got some gluten cross contamination. But I slept in so late on Saturday and lazed about, but made sure to still do the most important stuff like read my scriptures! That evening was our ward Christmas party, which was surprisingly fun! It was very professionally decorated with low lighting, candle-lit dinner plates set out, etc. There was some gentle jazz music playing. It was all quite romantic, actually. Dinner was an entire hour late! Which turned out to be a good thing because I went around and talked to EVERYONE, and I mean everyone. I had learned everyone's name by the end of the night and had introduced some people to each other. There were a few awkward encounters, but for the most part, it was really enjoyable and it gave everyone an opportunity to socialize, bond, and get to know each other better. I felt good enough to socialize, despite still not feeling good from food allergy side effects. I took ibuprofen before going, but I think God also helped so I could be an agent in bringing our ward closer. We had a white elephant gift exchange and I forgot to bring a gift, but they had extra gifts, so I got roped into playing, and it was actually pretty fun. I got a 3D printed lobster with the head of Dwayne the Rock Johnson... aka, a Rock Lobster! It was hilarious! It also came with $5. I absolutely enjoyed getting such a random gift. Plus, it came with $5. Cadence sat by me after dinner and we roped him into doing the gift exchange, so he then roped me into doing it with him, and we sat by each other in the circle and he asked me on a date. He said something along the lines of, "To apologize for roping you into this, can I make it up to you by taking you out for a soda?" I said, "Yes, but I don't actually like soda." So we planned a date and time to go out and get something that isn't soda. He is really kind and got back from his mission a couple of months ago.

On Sunday, I was so nervous to sing for some reason! We had our four-person musical number as part of the Christmas program, "What Child is This." I had a rocky start, but finished strong, and it went better than I could have hoped for. Valerie and others said it was actually quite beautiful, especially the harmonizing. I also sang in the ward choir. That afternoon, I gave Valerie her second lesson for voice lessons. She is already improving! I went to the stake choir music devotional early and joined in last minute on a practice of a song our ward was singing with another ward so I could join them on stage for the performance, and I'm really grateful I did, because I got to see some friends there. I was seated next to Jasen during the practice and it was good to be able to talk for a bit and reestablish a foundation of friendship where we chatted easily and even teased each other. The music devotional went well, and afterwards there was pie for dessert. I chatted with a few friends in the ward and then went home and straight to bed because I was so tired! Also, Lucy finished her painting of Christ looking at the sky, so I wanted to include that picture along with the one she did a while back of Christ carrying a girl.

My new favorite snack

Cutie Gracelyn looking like the Cat in the Hat

Gracelyn looking THRILLED that I'm holding her. She wasn't in a good mood that day, so I'm just lucky I got her to stop crying! Haha

Love,

Emily Burnham

Light in the World

 5 December - 11 December 2022

Wow, what a week to write about! Both completely inspiring and spiritual and motivating, and also a bit sad and devastating. On Monday, I went the the Smith's house to do homework in the afternoon after work. I got a good chunk of my video watched, which was slightly more painful than I was expecting because I did not do as good as I imagined I did. I ramble waayyyy too much. But oh well. It was very informative and I will only get better with practice and observation. I'm on the right track, and I'm excited to start my internship and gain even more knowledge. Yes, it'll be difficult, but so so rewarding. I am confident that God will help lead and guide me to know which practices to use with which clients. He will help inspire me to say the right things, and it won't be for my own glory, but to help and serve His children the best I can. Helping them heal and be able to move forward and come unto Him one day. That evening for FHE, our YSA ward went to down town Gilbert and explored the shops and visited the giving machine. Jasen also showed us his super cool laser and we popped balloons with it!

On Tuesday, I went to get finger-printed after work. Guess I can't commit any crimes now ;). I just need to get my CPR training and then I'll be good to work with children/minors during my internship. On Wednesday, I had work, school in my room, and practiced piano at the Smith's house. I really wanted to convince Jasen to sing a duet in church, and we sounded pretty good practicing, but I doubt it'll happen. Oh well. Then I had to leave to go practice at the stake center for the musical number on the 18th. I'm not the most excited about it, but I've changed my focus to be about bearing testimony and bringing the Spirit into the meeting rather than on how we are going to sound. 

Thursday at work, I finished up some things for my internship website bio. I went to institute that evening and LOVED it! We talked about so many good things that just kept hitting home for me. Christ's definition of peace is fundamentally different than the world's definition of peace. It is eternal, internal, fulfilling, all-encompassing, and hopeful. It is NOT the absence of pain or hardship or worry. It is not temporary or shallow or fake. It has little to do with our circumstances and everything to do with our focus on Christ and our commitment to keeping our covenants. We also discussed how the best way to gather Israel right now is to remain steady in the church. More and more people at large are falling away from religion and Christianity, and the day will come when they will be starving for Christ, hungering and thirsting after Him. We will be ready in a position to teach and draw them in, feeding their souls. Plus, I love going to institute for the snacks!! I LOVE that they have allergy-friendly options. It makes me feel so loved and included and special!

Friday night, I decided to do something special for Val because I knew she was having a rough week feeling lonely and like she didn't have friends. She'd invited a bunch of people to a girl's night and no one could come! So she was feeling bummed out. I texted Lucy and we made an epic plan. I cut out hearts, and Lucy set up mom and dad's room into a soothing environment. We tricked Valerie into coming over and then I surprised her with a massage. While I was massaging her, Lucy snuck over and heart-attacked her door and left her a cute note. She was SO touched by everything, and even got teary-eyed after reading the note. I'm so grateful I followed the prompting of the Spirit and was able to help remind her of how loved and important she is.

Some other highlights of the week include finishing my last paper/assignment of the quarter! Woot woot! SO ready for Christmas break and the ability to focus on other things. I went to the temple Saturday morning and was SO peaceful and happy. I couldn't keep a smile off my face. I was filled with such gratitude and calmness and awareness of my surroundings. It was such a beautiful day. We had the missionaries over for dinner, and afterwards, I went to Rosie's treat swap event and ate too much sugar... yikes. Especially since I'm supposed to be on a 40 day fast from sugar... :(. Sunday was good, too. We had great talks in sacrament meeting that brought the Spirit. I wrote six nice-notes during Relief Society, which I was happy about because it felt good to make others happy. I went to ward choir, and then went home and filmed some videos for my YouTube channel. I only had to do about 20 takes!!! I don't even think I'm exaggerating. It's so hard to get it acceptable in one take (it's never gonna be perfect, you can forget about that!). We had Aaron and Briesa over for dinner for pizzas (mine wasn't as good as usual because we didn't have any yellow cheese!). I got to see and hold baby Gracelyn, which is always a highlight. I even got to watch her a couple of times this week. One of the times, mom dropped her in my room on my bed to watch for a bit and I got the cutest selfies of us. I just love how happy and smiley she has been lately!

Come, Follow Me study group was good. almost everyone brought treats to share and there was more than enough. We had some great insights and discussion going on. So now you're probably wondering exactly what made my week so sad, am I right? Well, endings are hard for me, and it's never fun to get your hopes or expectations dashed. There were signs earlier than Sunday that a guy I liked wasn't interested in being close friends or anything more than passive friends, but that was the night it finally clicked. Our relationship will not be anything more than acquaintance friends. It was starting to go somewhere and was fun, but by the time I realized that I did really like him, he had stopped texting me back as much and no longer seemed excited and interested. Anyways, I'm not going to go into all the things, but all I can say is that crushes start out kinda fun but always end in one way--with you being crushed. But no more giving into my anxiety or trying to force something that isn't going to happen. It's time to let go and fully trust in the Lord and His timing. I am truly coming so close to Him and am learning to see and trust Him in unique and special ways. So, I've been feeling a sense of sadness and mourning over a lost close friendship and the absence of potential, but I am also filled with determination to be extra kind and friendly to all those around me who may be in need of friendship. I'm going to be even more loving and not feed my anxious thoughts and try not to act on them anymore. I'll be okay. It just hurts. I can't even imagine how much a real breakup would hurt, but I think any kind of ending hurts and is valid, not just the ending of a romantic relationship. But I'm just glad for my Savior. His support, and Him sending me angels on earth to talk with and to be comforted by. Charly and Brittany made a special effort to sit by me at church, choir, and CFM (haha, the three Cs). It was so sweet and needed.

These clouds looked like waves in the sky! So so cool! It was just a moment where I felt the goodness of God. He created such a beautiful earth, and I'm so grateful for nature we get to enjoy.

New picture of Christ I haven't seen before. I really like it. So simple but deep and tender.

Homework party at the Smith home. You can tell how excited Jasen was about it, haha.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Rock Climbing

 28 November - 4 December 2022

Well, this past week, I felt completely exhausted. In fact, I was SO tired that I came up with the best/worst pun ever: Guess how I feel? Like a cow-shaped muffler... utterly exhausted. Yup, I am VERY proud of that joke :) :) :).

This week, I went with the ward to see the Mesa Temple lights. Despite feeling exhausted, I had a good time socializing and soaking in all the pretty sights. I also have been enjoying the gym with my mom in the mornings. Working out REALLY makes a difference in how I feel and am able to move. Umm, I got a little overwhelmed with my emotions and spiraling/anxious thoughts on Tuesday, and I vented with my mom about my YSA ward and how people need to step it up and be better. I went out to get acai bowls with my friend Jasen and talked about that frustration a little bit, which I kind of feel bad about because I hate to feel like an ungrateful/judgmental complainer, but some days and weeks are harder than others to control your emotions and thoughts. On Thursday, I went to institute, where we talked about the millennium and final judgement. I enjoyed some yummy snacks afterward, and Jasen taught me some inverse chords and the basics of playing by ear, which was SO fun! I was super impressed with his playing. Then we went to this institute dance thing in Mesa, which was actually kind of lame because the music was SO loud that I could feel it vibrating through my body and could not talk to anyone! Fortunately, they had this game room set up where you could play ping-pong and foosball and other games, so we did that for a bit. Friday was also a good day because I got to cheer up my friend Matt from Florida, who was in the hospital after having his kidney removed so he could donate it to someone who needed it. I sent him lots of cute pictures of Gracelyn and drew him a super cheesy picture of his favorite things: a cow, platypus, train, and mustard. That evening, I went with my parents and younger sister to Jacob Ellsworth's wedding reception. It was at a fancy restaurant, and they had Costa Vida catered. But we didn't eat very much food, so on our way home, we stopped at Arriba's (which does NOT sit well with my gluten-free tummy, in case you were wondering. But oh well). 

Gracelyn says hi!

Time for Christmas!!!

Look how cute my parents are!

Gracelyn was NOT happy that I held her at the reception.

Saturday was EPIC! We had a ward rock climbing activity at Alta and they had these self-belaying things where you could climb up and then just let go and it gently lets you down. It kind of had the feel of repelling, which I love!! They also had this tower blocks that got taller in a box-shape and you put on the belay and then you can step up them up to like 20 feet! It was my favorite things. They were so fun, but I did get a pretty nasty bruise on my back from falling onto the tower, since the belay doesn't catch your weight until you entirely let go, so I kind of fell sideways and smashed into a tower on accident... whoops. But it was SO fun. Then I went to an endowment session, even in the pouring rain! There were three live endowments in that session, which was pretty cool. Sunday was good. I had some insights come to mind during church. One was a change in mindset: Our goal isn't to minimize how much we sin and fall away from God but rather to maximize how often and quickly we return to Him. I also was thinking about how all strong emotions stem from love. When we are sad or angry, it's because someone who means a lot to us has hurt or disappointed us. If we didn't care about them, we wouldn't react so emotionally. Anger can be an expression of love, so can sorrow and joy. And then my last thought I had was how Christ is known as the Unexpected Deliverer, and how of course this applies to how our prayers are answered. We have such a narrow way of viewing the world and our situations, and we want our prayers to be answered in specific ways, but God sees the whole picture and answers in unexpected ways that happen to be exactly what we need. We watched the First Presidency devotional, and then I had friends over for CFM at 7:30pm and we played games. People stayed so late (not really that late, but I was SO ready for bed that I left early to go back over to my house to go to bed before 10pm, haha). 

Much love,

Emily Burnham