From Dependent/Independent to Interdependent

 7 August - 13 August 2023

My talk on Sunday went really well! I had some thoughts that tied everything together Sunday morning as I was waking up about my relationship with Christ shifting from completely dependent to an interdependent and equal partner relationship. But then I had to leave for Mesa to pick up some church posters for my calling, and when I got back home, I got ready and worked on putting everything together for my talk and literally just made it on time to church! But everything worked out this week. I got my essay done on Saturday. That took up my whole day and wasn't fun, but it is good to remember that I can buckle down and get things done when necessary, and that it didn't turn into a bad, dreadful day. I was out of the house on Friday for 12 hours, and I wasn't completely burned out when I got home that evening. I was able to go from work to internship to a wedding reception and maintain energy and focus and stay in the present moment. I've had very full days, incredibly busy, but I not only had just enough time to get things done, I also had energy and focus and felt good. Seriously, what a miracle! And I have moved on enough from my old crush to reopen my heart and decided I'm ready to date. I think maybe I've been holding back and not just going for it like I need to in order for things to work out, so I downloaded the mutual app and am really sincere this time with wanting to meet someone and see what a relationship can be like. I know Heavenly Father wouldn't have created us as interdependent beings, allowing for feelings of longing for connection and building a life together, without providing the means for those desires to be fulfilled. I trust Him, and I trust His plan. I'm looking forward to what the coming weeks bring, but I'm excited to have some time off, a break to do some hobbies or traveling. I'm excited to have some room to breathe so that I can plan for some exciting things to happen in my future! Ooh, another thing that made this week super awesome was I got to cut out the stickers I've been working on at work and take pictures and videos of them for marketing, and they turned out super good! Both of my bosses were impressed, and I got $100 bonus, plus lunch one day this week from Thai Chili to Go, plus they bought tons of gluten-free snacks!!! Feeling so blessed and spoiled by my job! And I'm grateful for Kimberly this week. I was invited over to go swimming at her house, and we had a good talk and then went to a reception together the next evening. We both discussed how we've been feeling lonely lately and need to hang out more.

Gracelyn is SO cute. She can only ride her scooter backwards but can pick up her feet when her mom pulls her forward on it. And she cried when grandpa took her off of it which was actually so adorable because she cuddled up to him but then when she got back on the scooter, she was completely calm.

Seeing the painting I did when we went over for dinner at Aaron and Briesa's house made me so happy! They have it displayed up above the kitchen area :)

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Closing Doors

 31 July - 6 August 2023

Monday night, I attended our stake devotional and got to sit by Kimberly. It was really good, and I loved that they used a lot of really helpful analogies explaining pornography that I will need to keep in mind for future clients I meet with. They also testified about the sacred nature of sex and how that topic isn't discussed that way in church. On Tuesday, I worked and went to volleyball that evening. I carpooled with Abbie from my ward, taking her with me. On the drive home, one of my tires started coming apart!! But fortunately I made it home in one piece and was able to get them replaced at Discount Tires the next day. Phew. But after dropping Abbie off at home, we actually sat in my car talking for an hour and it was such a blessing, exactly what I needed. She was such a great listener and I was able to share some things I'd been struggling with and hadn't been able to verbalize about my feelings and crush, and I was actually able to come to some closure just by talking out and exploring my feelings, and it was absolutely incredible and I'm so grateful. I realized that while God had sent me a confirmation of my choice of a partner, that doesn't mean it's a confirmation that it will happen because they also have to choose you as their partner and receive their own confirmation. I realized I'd been holding on to that piece of revelation as a matter of timing and was trying to keep a door open, but really, that was God confirming my choice, but respecting his choice, and since he didn't choose me, that door is closed. And I needed that visual on the door in the back of my brain shutting closed, and it has been exactly the closure I need, filling me with peace and assurance. Like I mentioned before, I got new tires on Wednesday, then met with some clients that evening, and afterward, I was overwhelmed with this sense of sacredness and gratitude for my profession, that I am able to be in the position to do what I do, to dig into people's personal vulnerabilities and emotions and be trusted with them, to reassure and comfort and push and poke and help bring about change. It's such a sacred honor to help confront in a safe environment (that maybe doesn't always feel so safe when I'm poking at the emotions) and help them realize false beliefs. I pushed really hard during the session Wednesday night and the mom straight up got up and left for 5 to 10 minutes because she couldn't handle it, and the kids were all emotional, with the youngest two crying. I got to gently talk with them about their emotions and reframe the sadness and fear into signs of strength and love, and it was absolutely incredible. Such a sacred experience to be entrusted with raw emotions and to be a safe person to help them navigate through. Thursday night, I attended the ward temple trip to do baptisms, and it was the best experience of doing baptisms that I've ever had! I felt way less self-conscious in the baptism underwear and suits, much more covered and secure, and then the guy in the ward who baptized me was strong and made it so I didn't have to help push myself up or anything. I could trust him to dip me down and bring me back up without any help or feelings of self-consciousness. It was the most comfortable I've ever been doing baptisms, and I had an enjoyable time sitting with ward members and chatting. It was awesome! On Friday night, I went to my friend Brittany's birthday party. She is so thoughtful because she made sure to buy gluten-free cookies so I could eat too and not feel left out! And not just one pack, but two different brands/packages of cookies. We played Liar's Die, the dice in the cup game, and I won the whole thing with three dice remaining! What was really cool was there was a girl there who came that wasn't a member and was a bit stand-offish at the beginning, but I was so welcoming and chill (I'd like to think so, anyway) that by the end of the night, we were vibing and getting along pretty great and it had become a really fun environment. On Saturday, I took my MFT practice exam and got a passing score, so now I'll be able to pass the quarter and graduate next quarter! It only took me five and a half hours. And while I'm relieved that it's over with, I still have the real exam I have to pass in my state to get licensed in five or six months, and I feel waayyyyy underprepared for that, so a lot of anxiety hit me in regards to how much I still need to learn and prepare. But I'll face it as it comes. I also got to see Baby Gracelyn quite a few times this week, and she is definitely growing into her own person with her own personality, and I absolutely love when she smiles at me! She doesn't smile much, but I can still coax one out with "Peek a Boo." Saturday night, I went to karaoke night and sang myself raw. I met a few new people, reconnected with some people I'd already met, and just chilled and relaxed and made it fun and didn't feel self-conscious. And I love feeling that way, comfortable in my own skin going wherever by myself or around others.

Gracelyn is a foodie. Look at that face when she hears grandpa eating something! She does not want to be left out.😂 And her favorite pastime is still sticking random things in her mouth.

Much love,

Emily Burnham