Emily Burnham: January 2024

8 January 2024 - 28 January 2024

Hello, my friends! After graduating, my next step has been to recover from feeling absolutely burnt out! So, one of my new mottos has become not to do anything I don't have to do. And even so, I've still been doing some things I don't technically "have to" do, such as continuing to work on and build up my YouTube channel and learning Korean, but I've allowed myself not to feel guilt for "doing nothing" or "unproductive" things. Well, as part of this motto, I've decided to change from writing weekly to monthly, just recapping the highlights at the end of each month to simplify things. And as time goes on, if I feel like writing more, I will, but for now, this will be a good change of pace. Coming up next is... I'm finishing up working at the sign shop this next week and then will quit and begin studying for my exam, which I booked for March 16th. I'll keep taking off those two days each week to put in some solid study hours and prep for the exam. I'm confident that once I buckle down and go through the study program, I will be just fine and will pass the exam. I did so well on the GRE, and have a history of doing well on exams, so it will go smoothly; I just have to put in the hours, which I will in February and the beginning of March. Then, after I take the exam, I will reassess where I'm at with clients and see if I need to pick up a second site to get more clients so I can make a liveable wage and also get more client hours to count towards full licensure. Until then, I'm not going to worry about not having a lot of clients or making much money. So, in theory, I have a pretty balanced schedule for these next few months. The main thing I am working on is my confidence in sessions because for whatever reason, I become very uncertain when working with the parents of children, and I need to express more confidence in myself and what I am doing, because my work truly is valuable, so I don't know why I act like it isn't. So, this past month, we had some fun FHE activities. We had an info-mercial contest of random retro objects, such as spam, aprons, a sewing machine, garbage bags, etc. and it was SO funny! It was a great time. I also started attending the live Zoom reviews that Diane Gehart holds once a month for the MFT exam. I went to my friend Jessy's bridal shower, which had really good food and a cute flower-crown-making station. I also had breakfast at the gluten-free bakery with my friend Abby who got back from a semester in Washington DC, which was super fun! I also had a Korean night with my two friends Therese and Courtlynn. Zoey came too, and we went to the Asian market and bought snacks, then went back to their apartment and watched the first episode of Goblin. I have started attending stake choir practice for the upcoming easter performance, and we have some super awesome songs we are learning! I've already invited lots of coworkers and friends to come to it! I spent a week being sick, so that made me slow down even more and take better care of myself. I decided to apply for FSY this summer! It'll likely be the last summer I can do it, so I wanted to give it a shot, plus I'd love to be able to travel to cool places and meet lots of cool and fun people! I've been working on my own mental health and expectations about counseling and the role of my own spirituality in my work, and I have discovered how much I love intertwining God's gospel into every aspect of my life, so spending almost a year trying to "separate" that from my therapy work was harmful to my mental/emotional health, and I'm now starting to integrate those two sides of myself. I had a very helpful discussion with my supervisor Michele and with another LDS therapist, Jonathan. I officially got released from my stake calling, which was a huge relief, because I was feeling so overwhelmed having that on top of being called to help Elder Anderson fulfill his assignment given by the prophet and apostles to plan and hold a YSA AZ Regional Conference. Plus I still have a ward calling as being on the FHE planning committee. My mom threw our grandpa a surprise birthday party, Hawaiian Luau themed, and Amanda and Matthew even flew down for it, so it was the first time in a couple of years that all five of his children were together! We tricked him and told him the set-up was for a YSA activity, and then when all the family showed up, we hid and got him outside and jumped out and surprised him. He did not even really know how to respond. He was shocked to see everyone. We played some games and ate delicious food! Everyone had a great time. I have a lot of new clients coming my way, mostly kids, so I am brushing up and deepening my knowledge of play therapy and working with kids! Well, those are the highlights so far... catch ya next month!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Jessy Gavin's Bridal Shower

Me taking a selfie at the Asian store in front of the Korean restaurants!

Grandpa's Surprise Party:

26 December 2023 - 7 January 2024

Okay, yes, I may have decided to make every new year post rhyme. Just wanted to keep with the tradition from last year ;).

If you've been following along in the last several posts, you may have picked up on a theme of feeling overwhelmed and anxious and pressured. Well, I've been delving into my own mental health and self-care, studying closely with God to figure some faulty mindsets I'd picked up along the way, and it's been a whole thing, which is why finding the energy and motivation to write in my blog was pretty much non-existant last week, but I'm here now, so that counts for something. It's now been a whole week into the new year, and I do feel a lot better--more hopeful, less anxious. It's been an interesting journey to reflect back over this past year and realize that in many areas in my professional life, I've felt like I've had to hold myself back in regard to my religious expression, often feeling like my own religiosity would create bias or judgment or would be unethical, so I had to hold myself back. Slowly, I think it started to tear me up a little inside because I used to eat, breathe, sleep all things spiritual and religious. In the books I read, listened to, in the music I listened to, in my thoughts, in my school studies, in my hobbies. And I've felt a thirst and hunger recently to go back to that girl who was immersed in all things religion, no matter what she was doing. I would listen to religious books while working custodial, we could relate any subject at BYU to the gospel. I never felt like I had to separate or compartmentalize my religious side, until going through my Master's program and hearing opinions and teachings from secular teachers. But I've realized that creates a lot more strain in me because I feel like I am working from secular models based on my own expertise and abilities, which creates a lot of pressure, insecurity, and feelings of imposter syndrome. I'd rather work from an integrated religious perspective where all my therapy work/models/interventions are used from the foundation of Christ and His spiritual power and guidance. I don't want to feel like I have to separate my thoughts from Him when studying or practicing therapy. I want to be able to invite Him into my therapy room, into my treatment planning, and invite my clients into my scripture study. Of course on the outside, nothing huge changes. I'm still not preaching gospel principles. I think maybe I would be less hesitant to draw on religious analogies if I know they are religious. But if they are not, I would still respect that and not bring up religious topics when they want to focus on other things. But on the inside, things will change because I will be relying on the power of Jesus Christ to help guide me to know what to say and do to help my clients, and His power and Spirit will be in the room. I hope that my therapy room becomes a sacred space where you can feel a palpable spirit of peace, love, and upliftment. Yeah, so that's been on my mind a lot, just thinking how to better integrate religion and spiritualness into my therapy and into my YouTube channel and other hobbies. Speaking of hobbies, I am still hooked on Kdramas and attempting to learn Korean. Even though my progress may be considered rather slow, I am making tangible, palpable improvements, and that is so very exciting! It's easier for me to sound out Korean words and I can read them a little bit faster. I started working on memorizing 3 Nephi 5:13 in Korean!

Okay, so now onto some highlights from the past two weeks:

During the last week of December, I finished up my application for my associate license and got that submitted within the first week of January, once I'd officially graduated. I sent over my official transcripts, so now I'm just waiting to hear back from them regarding scheduling to take the licensure examination. Everything is so expensive! I will really need to save up my money because applying for licensure, taking exams, and all these CE credits and EFT trainings will cost me about 2 grand when all is said and done! It's insane. No wonder therapy is expensive, y'all! Being a therapist is expensive!

Valerie took me to get my graduation photos, and even though I didn't feel cute that day for whatever reason, fortunately, a lot of the pictures turned out very cute. I don't know exactly why I was just feeling perfectionistic and nit-picky that day. It was a mood. But I've been very motivated to eat a lot healthier, and surprisingly, my desire for carbs and sugar has declined. I just really want to flood my body with healthy things! So I've been drinking healthy smoothies for breakfast with pea-protein powder and fruits/veggies. And then I'm trying to eat a lot more healthier meals, like salmon, quinoa, vegetables, and oranges. I'm avoiding any unnecessary carbs or sugar. But I'm not too picky about it to where I deprive myself of anything. But it's been amazing to see the amount of what I eat decrease as well, as my desire decreases to overindulge in chips and other things that aren't the best for me. On Wednesday the 27th, I had dinner with a friend I met from the EFT training, Ashley. It was incredible and so needed! We talked for two hours at the place! It was such a needed space to be able to share about clients, progress, insecurities, worries, and life as an intern in general and to be understood and validated. I really hope our friendship continues to deepen!

It's been nice thinking that I'm actually getting paid for what I'm doing now! I am also carrying on with my YouTube channel, though it is still not getting many views and feels pointless at times. But I want to continue to turn it into something meaningful and useful. I think I changed it into a good direction when I started focusing in on activities for teens and children, and I'll stick with that direction for a little longer as I continue to ponder and explore how to make it more meaningful and fulfilling. Along the lines of what I was saying earlier, I'm thinking I need to incorporate religious teachings and references into each video, inviting the Spirit and having invitations to act, but I'm still trying to figure out just how I want to incorporate that. I went to Skate Land yesterday with Val for a girl's party. She's in our ward and friends with us both. It was fun to go and stake, but it sure has been a while! I think it took my an hour to ease myself into it and not feel so anxious (last time I rollerbladed at a YSA activity, I fell and really hurt my knee, so I think my elevated race had more to do with nerves than the exercise). But it slowly calmed down and I gained more confidence and had a blast. Plus got a good workout. Also, I've been continuing to go to the gym with my mom, and I am still loving the friend group I made there with Cindy and Hana. I really feel my legs and gluts getting stronger! I've also played pickleball with Andrew, Lu, and Val and had a lot of fun. So yeah, that pretty much sums up my life right now!