Emily Burnham: Week 36 - Power of Fasting

Hey y'all! This week has gone by so fast!

Monday:

We got our hot water fixed!!! You never know how much you appreciate something until it's gone. I got to take a real hot shower instead of boiling water for a bath (old school style). In my personal studies this morning, my eternal perceptive opened. Even though some days seem long and hard, I thought about how when I was young, I always wanted to be a Laurel in Young Womens, and I always thought about high school graduation, college, and where I would serve my mission. Well, one after the other, they seemed to fly by, and it's still sometimes hard for me to believe that I am a missionary. I've talked with others, and they say having kids and watching them grow up seems to fly by so fast. Maybe some of you can relate. Well, at this rate, I will be standing before Heavenly Father and be judged, something that I have thought about for a long time. It truly is just behind the corner, and what I do right now matters so much so that I can be with Him and my family for eternity. This perspective helps the challenges of life seem small and insignificant in comparison to eternal life. That is why I've decided that Romans 8:18 is one of my new favorite scriptures! "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

Tuesday:

At district meeting, we had a wonderful and heart-wrenching training! The elders put on a short skit: There were two best friends in the pre-mortal existence, and one was being sent to earth as a Mormon, the other would be a non-member. The one turns to his friend and says, "You'll be sent as a missionary, find me, and teach me the gospel, right?" They turn to Heavenly Father, who says, "It all depends on you." On earth, the one guy gets sent on a mission to the place where his friend is, and as he meets his trainer, they start talking about appointments they have and walk right past his friend, who was sitting in the park. They don't recognize each other. It was heart breaking that he missed his opportunity to find his friend because he didn't stop to talk with everyone! And that was what the training was on: talking to everyone. Another sister also gave us an article about a 40 day spiritual fast that brings you closer to the Savior. As I read through it, I realized it was exactly what I needed to help me progress. Satan really must not want me to do it, because right after I determined to do it, I had so many doubts and negative thoughts come to mind. It was a hard rest of the day. We tried to contact some people, but my companion was hurting and needed a blessing. I got one as well to help me overcome the adversary. Then we had dinner with the Beldens. They are so funny and awesome! Great way to end the night.

Wednesday:

So, today I started my 40 day spiritual fast. On day one, you physically fast and make a list of things that "poke" at your spirit, or things you are prompted to change so you can live in closer harmony to the Spirit. A few things that went on my list included: negative thinking, expressing irritation, and thinking/singing non-church music. Then you add things that you want to do better: Talk to everyone, serve your companion, ect. I was nervous to physically fast because I haven't been able to in a while due to health problems. I didn't know if I could do it, but I decided to put my full trust in the Lord and go without food and water all day. We biked to a nursing home in a slight drizzle to start doing service there! Then we biked three or more miles to another area to tract and see some people. By the time we got home, we had biked over 8 miles. It was a miracle that I was able to do it fasting, and I was so happy the whole time! I feel so much more control over my natural man, so much in control of my attitude and thoughts. That evening, we had a meeting with the Wrights, and Sister Wright had made us dinner, so I was able to break my fast. The amazing thing was I knew I could have gone longer fasting, and I felt great. I know that by the end of my fast, I will be more spiritually receptive and even more like Christ.

Thursday:

This morning, I prayed over every item on my list, covenanting with Heavenly that I would or wouldn't do each one. I asked for His help and strength. Then every night I will pray over each item and give an accounting on how I did that day. We weekly planned, then went to visit Sister Bliss. We were able to answer a few questions she had, since she has been a member for just over a year. We also tried some former investigators and potentials, setting a few return appointments. With my spiritual fast, I feel so much lighter, happier, and closer to the Spirit. I haven't been perfect at each item on the list, but I keep trying. This is exactly what I've needed, and I am loving it. I want to always be close to the Lord, and anything I have to sacrifice is worth the blessings and happiness.

Friday:

We had a great devotional with the Seniors today about Daniel and the lion's den, and played some fun songs on the violin for them. Then we watched President Monson's funeral. I love the example he left us of selfless service, and it strengthens my desire to serve others my whole life, not just on the mission. I've also taken his plea to seriously study the Book of Mormon, so I've started it again and have put my focus into it. Even though I know it is true and have read it so many times, I am amazed at the new things I am learning, and how much my testimony of it is being strengthened. He gave us such great counsel before he left this earth. Please read the Book of Mormon again. No matter where your testimony is at, I promise you it will grow even stronger, and your understanding will grow even deeper. We talked with and sang to some old people at a nursing home at West Gate. It was so sad to see the condition some of these people were in, and they really appreciated us coming. Oh! And we have a new roommate! There is a raccoon or something under our house/in our piping system, and it scratches, growls, and hisses underneath the tub. It really creeped us out tonight as we were trying to have companion study. I poured bleach down the drain (mean, I know) and it hissed at me!

Saturday:

This morning we drove to Pensacola for Bag Lady event, and the news people came! A member texted us later and said she saw us on the news! We are officially famous. I am getting really good at crocheting! That afternoon, all our appointments fell through, so we tracted in the freezing cold and got some return appointments. My toes were literally numb at one point. One kind Southerner invited us in to warm up, even though he wasn't interested in our message. He said he sees us walking around sometimes and shouts to us, "Hey!" to encourage us. I love the Southern hospitality.

Sunday:

We had a regional broadcast this morning, and Sister Neill Marriott spoke. She is from the South and started her talk off with, "I've looked forward to speaking with y'all because you understand when I say I had grits for breakfast and am fixin' to give a talk." She also answered some questions I had about permanent change. I feel myself changing so much, and I hope it stays permanent. I don't want to regress or fall back into old habits. She talked about the power that comes from the ordinances and covenants we make. Y'all, go to the temple often! I miss it so much. We had a linger-longer after church, then met with an awesome less-active. She seemed closed off at first when we showed up, but by the end, she had cried at least twice as she told us about the death of her first husband and mother. She has just moved here a year ago and hasn't been back to church since her mother's death, but said she needs to start coming back.

This week has taught me how powerful fasting is. I truly feel closer to the Lord, and I have more self control over my natural man. I feel happy. I smile more. I cry more during conferences because the Spirit is so much stronger. I am a more pure vessel of the Lord, and He is able to use me better to accomplish great things in His work. Never fast halfheartedly. I think that is just going hungry. Truly have a purpose that will bring you closer to the Savior, so that "when he shall appear [you] shall be like him, for [you] shall see him as he is" (Moroni 7:48).

Much love,

Sister Burnham