Full of Love

 5 October - 11 October 2020

Monday: Even though I felt sick, I realized I didn't have access to the reading I needed to do before midnight, so I headed to campus to do the reading. I stayed home for the rest of the day, finishing up school work. I had a work meeting at 4:30pm, and afterwards, I stayed on to chat with my fellow workers and listen in to the upcoming news of how BYU Campus will respond to covid. I mentioned how both of my roommates had covid, so I probably had it too. They asked if I had any symptoms, so I told them about having headaches and no appetite. I hadn't eaten much throughout the day, and everything I thought about eating made me feel like throwing up. Then everyone was so concerned that it made me feel loved! Shelly, one of my bosses, asked me what sounded good. I said maybe some crackers and broth. She went and bought me a smoothie and then crackers and soup that evening. My other supervisor, Erin, told me she was buying me lunch the next day. They all insisted that I couldn't pay them back. It was so sweet and made me so happy and grateful. I chose to ignore the feelings of guilt or of being a burden because everyone was so happy to serve me. Instead, I chose to focus on gratitude and love for having wonderful people in my life to help me.

Tuesday: I stayed home for classes and decided to go and get tested for Covid19 that morning during a gap in classes I had so I could know if I officially had Covid19 or not. It was not as pleasant as the last test I got. These people stuck the q-tip much higher up in my nostrils for seconds longer (and when you have something stuck up your nose to your eyeballs, seconds can feel like hours).

Wednesday: I worked from home for three hours in the morning. I had class and then homework. That evening, I participated in a social/service activity Zoom meeting. The service project they had us do was to write sticky notes and put them up around outside or in our house. Whoever wrote the most in 20 minutes would win a $10 gift card to the BYU Bookstore. Let's just say that was the easiest $10 I ever made ;). Haha, and my roommates sure appreciated the notes on their doors.

Thursday: I stayed home from all of my classes again since I have not yet received my Covid19 results. My last class of the day ended at 7:30pm, and I chatted with my friend Whitney for a bit on the phone. Then, I decided that I was too tired to do any more school work, but I could do something else that was useful. I bought a paper slicing machine, but I didn't like it and requested to return it. I tried to take the handle off the armed-blade, which was how it originally came, and in the process, I accidently grabbed onto the blade with my fist and cut open my pinky pretty bad. I felt like I was going to pass out. My sweet roommate Mattie helped me super glue it, got me some water, and helped me lay down on the couch. After a while, I started feeling a bit better (but my finger was throbbing so I had to cut open the band-aid to relieve the pressure. I'm grateful that it wasn't bad enough to need stitches.

Friday: I finally received my Covid19 results, and I tested negative! Again. So I'm just going to assume that I either had it and recovered before I got tested or I am immune to it. I went down to the library to do school work, and instead worked for over three hours at my TA job. Then I headed down to the creamery because my sister informed me that they were giving away free shirts there! So I got one ;). That afternoon, I finished up my homework that was due, and then I ended the night early because of a pounding headache. Medicine was no help. Even though I had more I could have done, I decided to take it easy, so I relaxed and watched Narnia.

Saturday: I went shopping in the morning. I haven't had much of an appetite this week, and nothing sounded good to eat. I decided that I was going to buy new foods that I didn't normally eat so that way I would actually eat. I stopped by Trader Joe's, Sprouts, and then Walmart. That afternoon, I spent time working on my Abnormal Psychology class, but after a while, I became so unproductive and tired of it, so I instead worked on grading papers. I also took a lengthy walk while listening to an audio book because I needed to get out of the house. The weather has been beautiful. Leaves are changing colors, and the air smells fresh and crisp. That evening, I watched the second Narnia, but wasn't as impressed with it. The amount of killing in it both surprised me and made me feel sick.

Sunday: This morning, I had a sacred moment in my room as I listened to a hymn and sang it. I felt God listening to me and I teared up as I felt connected to Him in a sacred moment. After church, Mattie and I wrote on some sticky notes and attached them to the door of one of the girls we minister to. Then I worked on editing some videos for The Missionary Approach YouTube channel. I had a great insight this week. It's been said so many times in various ways, but this week, I actually felt it. I felt the truth of it from the Spirit and from my Father in Heaven. The fact that I am trying to live righteously is enough. I don't have to gain extraordinary insights from conference and feel the Spirit strong every time I pray or read my scriptures in order to be on good terms with God or with myself. Instead, the fact that I even desire to do those righteous things, and desire to feel the Spirit strongly, is more than other people try, and God is pleased with my efforts. This has helped to relieve a lot of guilt and pressure from myself.

Much love,

Emily Burnham