Lessons on Love

 22 August - 28 August 2022

This week was really good! It went by pretty quickly and I felt like I got to do some fulfilling things this week. I had the energy and motivation to work on projects that I've been avoiding all year, such as finishing up my book, laser cutting, and socializing with boys. I had good work outs at the gym. My favorite thing is putting the treadmill on the highest ramp setting and walking. I don't even need to go very fast, and that will get my heartrate up real good. I can easily reach and maintain my target heartrate, making my body work for it. I was surprised by how much it made me sweat on Friday, just doing that for 10 minutes! Especially because I used to never really sweat. 

Monday we had the stake slip and slide activity. I was disappointed that they advertised dinner but then only had pizza. So I went hungry. The slip and slide was alright, but I had a good time. I got to feel like I was swimming in a giant pool of soap bubbles! Plus I got to meet some friends there, like Jessy and Sam. Jessy wasn't planning on coming, but I convinced her to show up! Work has been fine. I have been reorganizing the office supply room and back storage room, and I almost gave my boss Cameron a heart-attack because he went into the back room and didn't recognize it because it was so clean and organized! One of the days at work this week, a client my boss was meeting with called in to have tacos delivered for everyone for lunch, which was super nice, especially because I hadn't brought lunch that day. 

On Wednesday, I got to help my mom teach the activity day girls how to hand sew, and mom's partner just had a baby, so I got to help hold him when he was crying. That made me ever so more excited for baby Gracelyn to get here! She's due this next week and Breisa can't wait to have her out! My mom is so good with the girls. So patient and kind and approachable. The girls absolutely love her.

On Wednesday night, Valerie and I went to clean the temple. We got to see Sam there. I'm pretty sure he was the only other person from our ward that went! I'm glad we were there to represent :). It was good. Walking into the temple that evening and seeing the split staircase behind the temple recommend desk, which is so beautiful, just made me feel like this was the Lord's home and He was welcoming me there.

Saturday night, we had another game night, and people came! A lot of people I invited couldn't come, but at least we had a good turn out! Plus, it's hard when you and your siblings/cousin already make up four of the people at game night because the group can get super big, super fast! It was an entertaining time, and I loved seeing how happy and excited the others were about certain aspects of the games, though I can't say that I really had a blast and felt like I was among friends. I'm still working on that, though, and a big part of it is to just keep trying to get to know people better. It takes time. I'll find me a friend group yet!

I was asked to give a short talk about FSY in church, along with Valerie and two others. I contemplated a few days what to talk about, and then the day before, I searched through the notes I took during FSY and came across a common theme of love, so I spoke on that. I wrote my talk down on my phone and figured why not post it here? So, if you want, here's my talk!

"Going into FSY, I had one goal that I wanted to accomplish. I set that same goal every single week to focus on, and I knew that if I did nothing else but accomplish that goal, I would succeed. That goal was to love the youth placed in my care more than they'd ever felt before by a stranger. To feel Christ's pure love for them and to love them unconditionally. To love them regardless of what they had done or had NOT done. (And man did I feel that! So much power and love trust for those youth, for us, from the Lord).

"Unconditional love can be defined simply as: love without conditions. That means there are no conditions or criteria you must meet before you are loved. You just are. Christ loves us as we are, without conditions. His love is always there, and it is the most powerful motivator for changing to become like Him.

"During my third week as a counselor, I had a particularly tough group of boys. The "kool" kids. The ones who argued with you, complained, talked over you, didn't pay attention, thrived on making inappropriate jokes. Boys who seemed to openly rebel and disrespect, who seemed closed off to allowing themselves opportunities to feel the spirit. Who didn't want to be there and said they'd do something to get sent home. With one main ring leader in particular, Terin. 

"I had the pleasure of loving Terin for everything he already was, without waiting for him to follow all the rules first or to be respectful. All the things he had NOT done that I wished he would do, I didn't hold it against him. I simply loved him. That looked like responding to his bad behavior with soft tones and smiles as I sought to see the needs behind his behavior and words. It looked like hugging him, and listening to his complaints with empathy and validation, and testifying of his worth and potential. Giving firm but gentle correction followed with statements of my faith in him that he was capable of doing better and that God trusted him to make the best decisions.

"I learned that when God corrects you, it isn't because you're hopeless and worthless. It's because he sees what great potential for good you have, he loves you, and he wants to help you reach it. Truly, our perfectly loving Father and Savior "doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him." Do you trust that promise? Do you trust His love? I promise that as you trust in the Lord that all things, especially the hard things, are for your good, you will come closer to Christ.

"I learned a lot about Christ's perfect love, not only how it feels from him, but how it looks to give it to others. I love bringing others closer to Christ, because along the way, I'm also brought closer to him. There is nothing more fulfilling, no other source of accomplishment or entertainment that can compare to the joy, peace, and hope that comes from loving others as Christ loves them. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Back to Reality

 15 August - 21 August 2022

I started back at work this Monday at Sun Income Tax. It is not exceedingly busy, so I have a lot of time to do my homework and work on other things, which is nice. I am still looking for an internship and I will need to find a new job once I figure out where my internship will be. But I've felt close to Heavenly Father this week. I had a difficult weekend, but during my personal study I felt an outpouring of revelation and intimate reassurance and guidance that I jotted down in my notebook. It's amazing how the difficult times in your life bring you new understanding of your relationship with God, though it is so so so hard in the moment because you are afraid the trial will never end and it will feel that way forever. But truly those trials and hardships serve us a greater purpose in helping us be in the right place physically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially to do the greater purpose that God has in store for us.

Highlights of this week include shopping at DI after work on Friday. I was looking for pants to turn into shorts, since shorts from regular stores are never long enough for me. Ironically, I found two pairs of pants that fit me perfectly when I tried them on, going ALL the way down to my ankles, which is so rare! Usually when I am looking for pants, I have the hardest time finding ones that go all the way down and look good on me! But when I go looking for ones to turn into shorts, I find the perfect fit! So I got some good deals on nice jeans that will last me many more years to come, and I got some nice blouses. I'm trying to build up my professional wardrobe since I will start meeting with clients as a therapist in five months!! Another highlight of this week has been getting to interview Bishop Rollins and his wife. Afterwards, I kind of just started sharing my struggles and started crying, and Bishop asked if he could give me a blessing. It was so sweet and tender, and I felt so loved and seen for who I was for the first time by them. I felt loved and welcomed and supported. I've also been watching the last two seasons of Smallville, which have been pretty addicting. I skipped seasons 3 through 8 (I heard those ones aren't as good anyway). I really can't invest my time to watch TEN seasons! Plus I don't like when things drag on, so I started at the perfect time, where Clark and Lois start working together and dating.

Sunday was super fun because we had the Burton's over for dinner, and we made smoked pizzas and then played games afterward. We were laughing and having a good time. I think we should have families over more often. I enjoyed interacting with them. I have also noticed this week that I've been much better at socializing and being curious and interested in people's lives. It makes for really good conversations! I also got to talk with Whitney for the first time in a long while, and she updated me about her life. I'm so grateful for her. My heart is filled with gratitude for all the good going on in my life, for the many blessings I have, and for the peace in my heart, which I've felt more potently since attending the temple on Thursday, after having Heavenly Father invite me to come visit Him in His house.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Universal Studios!!!

 8 August - 14 August 2022

I finished my Track 1 residency for my master's program on Monday. I worked on homework assignments and then went to bed. Nothing too crazy. I loved that there were wild turkeys that would roam Matt's neighborhood. I'd always be on the lookout for them when we were driving out in the mornings. I spent all day Tuesday and Wednesday inside the Universal Parks, and I mean that literally. Between the two days, I spent 27 hours in the parks. It rained in the afternoon or evening on both of the days, which made some rides shut down for a while, and it was a TON of walking (25,000 steps each day). But I had a very enjoyable time! It was surreal to see Harry Potter World in person. I spent the morning of the first day in Diagon Alley. I went on the Escape from Gringotts ride, which I really enjoyed, and then explored all the shops and parts of Diagon Alley. I really got SO much more done in the mornings than the rest of the day, honestly. It just got so so packed. I was able to end the first day by going on Hagrid's motorbike ride, which was my favorite rollercoaster ride. I had to wait until the end because the line was always so ridiculously long, like 2 to 4 hours long! Matt joined me in the evening and went on that with me, and we didn't get out of the park and home until 10pm! (The park officially closes at 9pm, but they're not going to kick you out if you're in line before then). The second morning, I spent the morning in Hogsmeade. I'd gone there the day before, but it was CRAZY packed, so I felt like I didn't get to explore as much. I did the Forbidden Journey ride the first day and wasn't as fun. But the second day in the morning, I actually went through the entire line instead of the single rider line, and I enjoyed it SO much more and felt more connected to Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, because there is so much of the castle that you miss if you don't go through the long line (such as Dumbledore's office, the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, the fat lady, etc.). It was super cool. I also explored the other parts of the parks in Universal, going on almost all of the rides. It was so cool. Like, it was just fun to be able to explore new things and go on rides having no idea what to expect (most of the time being pleasantly surprised, and other times disappointed). It was definitely an adventure, and I got to meet new friends and people, and I ran into an old friend there as well! My favorite parts of Harry Potter World (besides Hagrid's and Gringotts ride) was the Triwizard Spirit Rally and the Hogwarts castle light show, which was a great way to finish my last night in the park. It was bitter sweet being in the park, because on the one hand, you love Harry Potter so much and almost get to feel like you're there. But on the other hand, you can tell it is fake. The brick isn't real, the castle is smaller in scale than it'd be in real life, and everything isn't positioned exactly like in the movies. And you see hundreds, if not thousands, of other fans, and you're all trying to pretend it's real, but it's not and it's never going to be. So I had some bitter sweet moments, but by the end of my time in Universal, I would say I loved it because it was a fun, adventurous time, and I could close my eyes at night and picture myself right outside the Hogwarts Castle or in Diagon Alley, and whether or not it's real, it's pretty darn cool. Then I flew home Thursday morning and have been adjusting to the time difference all over again. Man, last week was just so exhausting, but I'm glad I adjusted in time to be able to be alert and awake enough to enjoy Universal Studios. And while exploring other parts of the park was cool, it didn't speak to me as much as when I got to explore the Harry Potter parts. I posted TONS of pictures on Facebook, and I'll only post a couple here (all Harry Potter ones, cuz those were my fav).

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Orlando, FL Residency

 1 August - 7 August 2022

Ughhh... this is going to be another short post. Last week it was because I didn't feel like it, but today it's because I'm crunched for time and super tired. And part of that reason is because I didn't do my STINKIN' homework like I should have last week before I left for Florida! GRRRR Emily!!! Why??! Well, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My mental health wasn't in a good place and I couldn't find the motivation or energy or desire to do much of anything. My anxiety was through the roof, and trying to sit down to do homework was difficult. I was super distracted and uneasy and unable to focus. That being said, I got the help I needed and talked with my parents about it, and things did get better, but I felt crunched for time before I left and just wanted to enjoy my last few nights before I headed off to Florida for my week long residency training with my classmates and professor from Capella University. And let me tell you, it was so weird to see them all in person and have the discussions we did, because it all felt so distant and impersonal when you're doing your program from behind a computer screen. But I think we bonded pretty quickly and well. We had such a diverse group, and we were all focused and wanted to be there and learn and grow. It was a very enlightening experience for me to be around people with such different values and world views than me, and I learned a great deal about what it means to truly know and love/value those who have completely opposite life styles than me. The hotel food was blah. Matt, the random guy I met on FB and stayed with (don't worry, I vetted him by calling his Bishop and FB stalked him) was very kind and personable. He has been able to drive me around to things and lets me know I can use anything he has in his house. I took a red-eye flight, so I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night. Trust me, I tried really hard to at the airport and on the plane. My tender mercy of the week was that I ran into Shelly Turley at the airport on my way to my midnight flight! She was just arriving to attend a last-minute funeral. It was good to catch up. I slept for around 4 hours after I got to the house I've been staying at this week before having to walk over to residency at the nearby hotel. Google maps said it was a 5 minute drive and 40 minute walk. I thought with my long legs, I could make it 30 or 35 minutes. Matt had to leave for work, which is why he couldn't take me. Well, it turned out to be closer to a 50 minute walk! And it was so hot and humid. I sweated through the back of my shirt since I was wearing my backpack. It was not fun. But I made it there! And I didn't have to walk to or from for the rest of the week, which was another tender mercy, because I was able to get a ride home from one of my classmates and I was able to get a ride there every morning with Matt. Now, there is a lot that I could go into about this experience and all that I learned, which is why I said it's too bad that I'm crunched for time. Sunday was insane enough as it was, and I finally had some time today (Monday) to write about my week after an afternoon spent on homework because I only had classes for the first half of the day. But if I didn't have to do stupid school work, then I'd have more time to write all about my week, but I didn't. But oh well. I took plenty of notes during the course that I can find and reflect back on. All I know is that it was very much a heavy and tiring experience emotionally. I didn't feel the spirit in classes, and I had to work hard to bring the spirit with me and cheer up my own spirit. I prayed, watched the birds, did things to make myself smile, listened to scriptures while getting ready in the morning, looked out the window during class at all the greenery, prayed for classmates (not as much as I wish I did, but I just thought to do that on the last day), etc. I had to work to feel the spirit because I was around people who don't have the relationship that I do with Christ and don't invite Him into the room or pray together. Surprisingly, there were two other members in my class, both moms. There were 15 students total, plus our instructor. I was able to connect with and love people SO different than me and realize that their choices make complete sense from their perspective, belief, and worldview. God can see and understand from their perspective, and I cannot. That's why He's the judge. All I can do is try my best to understand as I show empathy and compassion. It was really hard at first to be around people with such differing views and perspectives and to feel marginalized at times. It was a very insightful and helpful experience, but not a fun one. But I feel like I earned respect and a place by the last day, at least! I was touched by the outpouring of love and affection shown to me by my classmates. Some of them commented on my integrity, honesty, and light. I had one woman want to sit over by me because I had calming energy. Long story short, I wouldn't have gotten through this week without my Savior and Heavenly Father. I did my best each day, no matter how big or small that looked, to think of Them and stay positive. I was exhausted for most of the trip, but now I think I'm finally slightly adjusting to the time difference and have made up some sleep (one night, as soon as I got back to the house from class, I went straight to bed. At 6pm [which is 3pm AZ time] and slept through the whole night). I've overcome anxieties and exhaustion--well, more like managed them, cuz they are still there, but I am dealing with them so that they aren't so overwhelming. I've re-established hope and purpose and energy. God is good. Anyways, here is another photo dump.

Rosen Shingle Creek Hotel view from the lobby

Me by my school sign!

Beautiful sun set. So weird to be back in FL again! I haven't been back here since my mission. Even though it's a new part of Florida for me, it is still humid! And we had epic thunder and lighting storms this week. On my ride back from class one day, lighting struck FEET away! It was crazy.

There are some rouge turkeys that wander around Matt's neighborhood.

Feedback from my peers.

Group photo of me and my classmates and instructor!

Much love,

Emily Burnham