1 August - 7 August 2022
Ughhh... this is going to be another short post. Last week it was because I didn't feel like it, but today it's because I'm crunched for time and super tired. And part of that reason is because I didn't do my STINKIN' homework like I should have last week before I left for Florida! GRRRR Emily!!! Why??! Well, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My mental health wasn't in a good place and I couldn't find the motivation or energy or desire to do much of anything. My anxiety was through the roof, and trying to sit down to do homework was difficult. I was super distracted and uneasy and unable to focus. That being said, I got the help I needed and talked with my parents about it, and things did get better, but I felt crunched for time before I left and just wanted to enjoy my last few nights before I headed off to Florida for my week long residency training with my classmates and professor from Capella University. And let me tell you, it was so weird to see them all in person and have the discussions we did, because it all felt so distant and impersonal when you're doing your program from behind a computer screen. But I think we bonded pretty quickly and well. We had such a diverse group, and we were all focused and wanted to be there and learn and grow. It was a very enlightening experience for me to be around people with such different values and world views than me, and I learned a great deal about what it means to truly know and love/value those who have completely opposite life styles than me. The hotel food was blah. Matt, the random guy I met on FB and stayed with (don't worry, I vetted him by calling his Bishop and FB stalked him) was very kind and personable. He has been able to drive me around to things and lets me know I can use anything he has in his house. I took a red-eye flight, so I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night. Trust me, I tried really hard to at the airport and on the plane. My tender mercy of the week was that I ran into Shelly Turley at the airport on my way to my midnight flight! She was just arriving to attend a last-minute funeral. It was good to catch up. I slept for around 4 hours after I got to the house I've been staying at this week before having to walk over to residency at the nearby hotel. Google maps said it was a 5 minute drive and 40 minute walk. I thought with my long legs, I could make it 30 or 35 minutes. Matt had to leave for work, which is why he couldn't take me. Well, it turned out to be closer to a 50 minute walk! And it was so hot and humid. I sweated through the back of my shirt since I was wearing my backpack. It was not fun. But I made it there! And I didn't have to walk to or from for the rest of the week, which was another tender mercy, because I was able to get a ride home from one of my classmates and I was able to get a ride there every morning with Matt. Now, there is a lot that I could go into about this experience and all that I learned, which is why I said it's too bad that I'm crunched for time. Sunday was insane enough as it was, and I finally had some time today (Monday) to write about my week after an afternoon spent on homework because I only had classes for the first half of the day. But if I didn't have to do stupid school work, then I'd have more time to write all about my week, but I didn't. But oh well. I took plenty of notes during the course that I can find and reflect back on. All I know is that it was very much a heavy and tiring experience emotionally. I didn't feel the spirit in classes, and I had to work hard to bring the spirit with me and cheer up my own spirit. I prayed, watched the birds, did things to make myself smile, listened to scriptures while getting ready in the morning, looked out the window during class at all the greenery, prayed for classmates (not as much as I wish I did, but I just thought to do that on the last day), etc. I had to work to feel the spirit because I was around people who don't have the relationship that I do with Christ and don't invite Him into the room or pray together. Surprisingly, there were two other members in my class, both moms. There were 15 students total, plus our instructor. I was able to connect with and love people SO different than me and realize that their choices make complete sense from their perspective, belief, and worldview. God can see and understand from their perspective, and I cannot. That's why He's the judge. All I can do is try my best to understand as I show empathy and compassion. It was really hard at first to be around people with such differing views and perspectives and to feel marginalized at times. It was a very insightful and helpful experience, but not a fun one. But I feel like I earned respect and a place by the last day, at least! I was touched by the outpouring of love and affection shown to me by my classmates. Some of them commented on my integrity, honesty, and light. I had one woman want to sit over by me because I had calming energy. Long story short, I wouldn't have gotten through this week without my Savior and Heavenly Father. I did my best each day, no matter how big or small that looked, to think of Them and stay positive. I was exhausted for most of the trip, but now I think I'm finally slightly adjusting to the time difference and have made up some sleep (one night, as soon as I got back to the house from class, I went straight to bed. At 6pm [which is 3pm AZ time] and slept through the whole night). I've overcome anxieties and exhaustion--well, more like managed them, cuz they are still there, but I am dealing with them so that they aren't so overwhelming. I've re-established hope and purpose and energy. God is good. Anyways, here is another photo dump.
Much love,
Emily Burnham
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