Monday
I must have spent at least four hours at the BYU Health Clinic today! I wanted to figure out why I've been feeling off these past weeks, such as having trouble breathing. Well, all my results came back normal (nope, I don't have anemia or diabetes or asthma). But she had me take an anxiety/depression test and I scored pretty high on those. Since it wasn't anything else, this made me truly reflect on just how serious anxiety has been in my life. I've been fine! But I always feel just a bit anxious--about everything! Maybe it is affecting me more than I realized. Anyways, the best part of today was that the Lord answered my prayer so quickly! I had to run laps outside for the asthma test, and it was so cold that I prayed for the sun to come out and warm me up. Not even five minutes later, the clouds parted and glorious sunshine rained down upon me. What a tender mercy!
Tuesday
One guy in my figure skating class randomly asked me today, "How do you feel about blind dates?" I said I thought they were fine and asked if someone was trying to set him up on one. "No, but I want to set you up on one!" he said. So he got my number to give the other guy... but we'll see if anything actually comes of it. Today in ice skating class, we all tried on hockey skates because it was the day where all the hockey players had to learn figure skating moves, and we all had to learn hockey skills. Well, long story short, I hate hockey skates. I got quite the show of bruises to show for how coordinated I was in those horrific things...
Wednesday
My religion research class today was actually really good! We had six different stake presidents, bishops, and a returned mission president come and answer questions about religiosity in youth. We had such an inspiring discussion (even though I wasn't feeling particularly well today) and afterwards I felt inspired to give them all fliers (that I had conveniently brought) to my YouTube channel. Afterwards, my mentor, Dr. Dyer, asked how I was and I actually answered quite honestly. Awful. He asked if I wanted to speak with him in his office, so I said sure. We went and talked about my anxiety and he gave some very solid counsel about medication and what it does and helps with. He said some people are more sensitive and their environment really affects them. If it's a good environment, they flourish. But if it's a stressful or bad environment, they do poorly. Medication can help during the hard times so the environment isn't such a huge factor. I was really grateful that I followed that prompting to talk to him instead of giving the cliché "I'm good" answer. Such inspired counsel. Plus, during the class, Miranda sent me a bunch of cute inspirational quotes that really touched me.
Thursday
Today's marriage enhancement class was super weird. Deja vu moment. The guy sitting next to me turns to me after class and asks how I feel about blind dates. I said they're fine. He said he knew a super nice guy, so I gave him my number to pass along. That was so funny... twice in one week! Also during that class, I totally got called out by the teacher for being single. In front of the whole class! Oh well, at least I was in a good mood and didn't take it too personally. It's not completely my fault that I'm single. I'm trying here, okay! :) Later that evening, I met up with my friend Eliza from my religion class and we ate fries and talked about missionary work and life in general. It was good. I truly am so blessed! Also, my roommate Katie sticky-note-attacked my door with the cutest sayings and it made me feel so loved. I feel so blessed and eternally grateful to have her as my roommate.
Friday
Today I was all on my own at the temple! I did a great job! I didn't forget too many things :). It is so peaceful there and definitely feels like home. I got to be in one of the "greet" positions by the entrance, and there is a picture of Christ there that I looked at. I said a prayer of gratitude for my Savior to my Father in Heaven, and it was such a tender moment to be in their home and to feel completely at peace. I had the insight that what I am doing in the temple is exactly like what I did on my mission. Not only am I serving other people, but I am praying for the patrons to feel the Spirit. I'm praying that I will be filled with the Spirit so I can make each ordinance a sacred experience. I look for those who are lost or need help. I am set apart and have the authority to perform these sacred ordinances, and I feel so honored and humbled. When I got back from the temple, I had a missed call from one of the blind-date guys. We met up for a late lunch and it was fine. He was nice, but I don't think we clicked well. I went and picked up a camera from the library and filmed a couple for my channel about the topic of scrupulosity (if you don't know what that means, I guess you'll have to wait to watch the video... or just Google it). Then I had some work in the coding lab to do, but I didn't finish all the way and I started feeling super anxious, especially when a friend in the ward wanted to do something later in the evening. I just couldn't emotionally, so instead I finished early in the lab and relaxed at home. The people above us were having quite the booming party (apparently the cops showed up) and our ceiling (and bed) were shaking from all the jumping and dancing. I'm glad it didn't cave in! Even though today was a bit stressful, I also received the sweetest note from McCall in our ward.
Saturday
I went shopping this morning! I found a good deal on an outfit to get for Sunday and I also found some super comfortable exercise pants. I also got my car washed (I won't say how long it had been...) and worked for a couple of hours. Then I went to the Osborn's house to film them talking about friendship in marriage (they were so cute). I finished the night by watching Captain America since I hadn't seen it in so long.
Sunday
I was excited for today. I had my new cute outfit and I was teaching Sunday School. It went well! In the middle of church, it started pouring down snow, and of course I didn't bring a jacket with me... haha, so I got pretty snowed on by the time I got home! I loved church, though. So many amazing testimonies were born and I felt so edified. Right after church, I filmed my friend Spencer for my YouTube channel. I'm pretty excited with how everything is coming along. I also received the nicest comments on my video that posted today! That made me so very happy. I wrote nice-notes during Come Follow Me and Reconnect and then delivered them. I also attended ward prayer and ward choir.
This week had its ups and downs. Some days were harder than others. But I felt Heavenly Father's love. I'm learning lots about becoming like my Savior and Father in Heaven. Life is sometimes so overwhelming that it's hard for me to see my progress, and I do have a lot I'm doing (it's hard for me to remember how much I can actually juggle) but I know the Lord is magnifying my time and my efforts to do miraculous things. I'm grateful for the gift of listening. I am far from perfect and make so many stupid mistakes, but I really am trying to be like and act like Jesus Christ in every circumstance, with every person.
Love,
Emily Burnham
