Wow, after this week, there is only one way to describe how I am feeling: shooketh. What started out as a normal week with lots of speculation became a crazy reality. One day we had classes and homework like usual. The next, we find out that class is cancelled for three days. When I first found out that BYU was cancelling classes and moving everything online, that all campus events were cancelled (including graduation), and that the church was cancelling church and all social activities, I was so bummed. No more ice skating class! No more basketball intramurals. No more fun events. The rink shut down, even the ski resort where I was going to get to ski for the first time next Friday! Not as many hours of work and the family I help out with piano keeps cancelling now. Most likely I won't get to serve in the temple anymore. But my loving friends and family reminded me to look on the bright side, and I am also so grateful for the multitude of tender mercies and blessings that are now in my life. I have more time to refocus on Jesus Christ and have more time to write or do art or work on my YouTube channel. Through work, I was able to gain access to adobe premier and photoshop right on my laptop! This happened just days before everything went crazy. Additionally, I have taken this opportunity to make my anxiety useful. I have come to realize the blessing of my anxiety. It reminds me to turn outward in love and service to others, forgetting myself in the process. When I am feeling the most sad or anxious or worried, it reminds me of the desperate need I have to connect with others and think of ways to serve so that I can overcome those feelings. It truly binds me to others. This week I have spent a lot of time praying for and thinking of ways to bless the lives of others. The first idea that came to mind was to have a bunch of people sign a card for my roommate that is leaving soon. I made a giant and super cute card and went door to door on Saturday having people sign it. It was such a good excuse to get to see everyone and interact with so many people, which helped the day go by faster and cheered me up. I also had the idea to write a bunch of nice-notes to people in the ward, which I did. Miranda even told me some girls that have been struggling and I wrote each of them a note.
Other things of note: in my ice skating class on Tuesday, we had split into groups and were beginning to plan our final performance. My group of three was going to do "Come Alive" from The Greatest Showman and it was (past tense) going to be awesome. Oh well. Additionally, I went on a date on Wednesday. The guy was pretty cute and super nice, but I think he maybe thought I was too old for him (even though I'm probably only two years older). It was good, but I don't think anything more will come of it, especially now with good ole Corona here to distract everyone ;). I got to spend time with my roomie Katie--we watched part of Finding Dory together.
I loved working in the temple on Friday. It is the best! I also took myself out to dinner Friday night to celebrate surviving the crazy week (also because I've not been motivated to cook or eat food with all the stressful, crazy things happening). Saturday night, I was invited over to watch a movie, The Ringer, with Cory and Jason, so that was fun!
On Sunday, I got to video chat with my family as they had their own church meeting, including my dad blessing the sacrament. He even held the plate of bread in front of the phone so it felt like he was giving it to me. It made me cry, seeing him do the sacrament in our home, because for the first time that day, it truly felt like Sunday and I finally found peace and reverence after all the craziness that had been going on. Later that afternoon, I was blessed to participate in a Come, Follow Me conference call that my mission president put on, which further helped me feel like it was Sunday and motivated me to be better. Afterwards, I wrote a TON of nice notes and my friend Whitney came over and talked and then helped me deliver them. Then she took me to her home and fed me dinner (so sweet) before we went to her friend's place for a short gospel discussion and game night.
I know during this time of uncertainty, so many blessings will come. So many people are reaching out and bonding together. I have my moments of fear and stress and worry, but I also have moments of peace and reassurance and inspiration. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life and to have such a close relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.
Love,
Emily Burnham
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