Despite not going to classes, this week has been super eventful and much better than the previous week. Why? Well, ironically, it was because I took back my old job of doing early-morning custodial at the Smith Field House. While I was utterly exhausted in the mornings, I felt SO much more productive and better that I was earning more money. ALSO. I had people to talk to every day. It fulfilled my need for human belonging and contact, which was fabulous. I was able to focus better each day and accomplish my school work faster. I had energy to make some delicious meals this week, including homemade banana bread and curry! I was home alone for most of the week, which is why I was so grateful for work. Unfortunately, I just found out yesterday that they are shutting down the building and nobody can work anymore (thanks to covid19) so that was pretty short lived... haha, oh well. I made enough money in that one week to help me purchase a new camera! I hope I like using it! We'll see. It's going to be for creating videos for my YouTube channel, since the library media center has closed down.
One life-changing thing that happened to me was that I started listening to the book, "The Power of Stillness" while I was at work this week, and even just the first 30 minutes of the book changed my way of thinking for the better. It even inspired me to write a song! (It's still in the process, but hopefully will be done soon so I can post it for y'all to hear). The book talks about how it's the society we live in that is always pushing us to do more in less time. The more we can accomplish, the better we are. However, God doesn't work like that. In fact, He invites us to be still and know Him. Being still doesn't just mean being physically still in a quiet place, but also quieting the inner mind. As our minds are quiet, then we can hear Him. The book also talks about how we don't need to necessarily pray longer and say more things, but to just sit in the presence of God and be with Him. Feel Him. Spend some time with Him. I am grateful to know that God doesn't require me to give more than I am, and that I'm no less profitable to Him. I've learned that God gives us limits so that when we reach them, we'll remember to come back to Him. He already sent someone who saved everyone, so it's not our job to save everyone. We need to trust God to be able to do His work without us, because sometimes we need to take a break and care for ourselves. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed that we can't take another breathe, let alone another step. And that doesn't make us any less. We're human.
I also learned a hard lesson this week. The utility bill is completely in my name, and then my roommates just Venmo me back every month their portion. Well, what happens when one roommate doesn't want to pay for their share because they move out early, but are still under contract and are still paying utilities? Yikes. I'm never making that mistake again. My future roommates are going to sign a contract from me. Fortunately, my other two roommates were understanding and said that they wouldn't abandon me with their rent even when they move out early or get married because they understand that it is an extension of rent. That was my biggest fear--that all of them would decide to not pay because they were also leaving early, and I'd be stuck with a bill four times the usual 27 dollars we're responsible for. While I was feeling angry and bitter and frustrated towards the roommate who argued about not paying, I prayed until I found peace, and then I was just filled with gratitude after talking to my other two roommates and hearing how they not only will continue to pay rent while they are under contract, but that they are also willing to help pay for the cost of the one roommate who won't pay next month. They didn't have to, but they did. I am so grateful not to have this big financial burden all on my shoulders, and I'm even more grateful for my Savior who has carried ALL of my burdens on his shoulders.
Other quick news of the week:
It snowed. Spring, where are you?
We found trash dating back to the 70s underneath the BYU stands in the Smith Field House! Look how old the cans and brand of candies are! I felt like an archaeologist!
I'm grateful for my family! I got to participate in Sunday School with them again. I'm grateful for the gift of friendship and music. I'm grateful for the Spirit. I'm grateful I got to see my ward over Zoom today as well for Sunday School.
Much love,
Emily Burnham
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