Make a Wish

 13 September - 19 September 2021

Well, what a week! I started my first full week of work on Monday at the ice rink (which my mom totally thought was called a "ring" up until this week). It was so boring on day one! I was going to die of boredom because hardly anyone comes in to the rink in the mornings. My second day of work that week, Thursday, I brought cleaning supplies and cleaned the desks and swept the floor. I attended the temple on Tuesday and did initiatories and felt the Spirit. I felt loved and peace about my life. I just need to keep moving forth one day at a time and count each day a victory when I do the small and simple acts of righteousness. Keep going forth in limbo until it doesn't feel like I'm in limbo anymore. And I guess that's why life has been so hard lately. Because nothing is going terribly wrong or hard in my life, but I'm not yet in school and don't feel like I'm progressing with work. I feel stuck. And it's hard to be stuck, but then I also feel like I can't complain because I could have it a lot worse. This week, I also started orientation for Capella University. I also realized that one reason God hasn't been giving me direction and has instead been saying to make my own decisions is because I am not putting in enough work to find all the choices available for me to choose. For example, just talking with my mom this week, she said that I could do school full-time and finish my degree sooner so I can get a job I actually want. It struck me. I hadn't considered not working and just knocking out school as soon as I possibly can. Then I don't have to work a job I don't love and that pays poorly, wasting time I could use to get more school done. I've also been working on the painting for Aaron's wedding gift. It's coming along! I am almost done, but just need to touch up some things and maybe add a cacti on the right.

On Wednesday night, I attended our Relief Society activity called "Make a Wish" night. We had dinner and then we all wrote down one thing we would wish for, and then we had other people volunteer to fulfill those wishes. I thought about what I wanted most, and it comes down to the fact that I feel lonely and want to meet friends, so I wrote down that my wish was to be invited to game nights/work outs/parties. On Friday, my perspective on work was much more positive because I can work on things during slow moments, which means I can work on my orientation for school or watch Sue Thomas FBEye ;). Saturday, work was so busy that I didn't have time to do anything but work! Oof, I was a bit overwhelmed, but the time went by a lot faster when there is more to do, so I won't complain at all. I'm not a big fan of working on Saturdays. It makes my weekend feel a lot shorter. And it's not fun to get up at 6am on Saturday to get to work at 7am. But it won't be for forever! And I just have to keep reminding myself that I get to go ice skating for free!

Even though it's been a tough week (for reasons mentioned above about feeling stuck and purposeless), I have faith that things will improve, especially once I start school in a couple of weeks. I will be able to wear my "student" hat and feel like I'm progressing. My future is open, and I need to stop limiting myself and my future in my mind. Oh yeah, and it doesn't help that I started coming down sick this week, so I definitely need to extend myself some grace and love.

Much love,

Emily Burnham