Called to Teach

 30 August - 5 September 2021

I'm going to be real with y'all. This week sucked. Seriously. It was the worst I've felt in years. I felt so down in the dumps, like there was no joy or hope in my life. My bubbly, smiley personality was subdued, and I often felt on the verge of tears. You can chalk some of it up to hormones, but even accounting for that, I haven't felt that sad since probably my period of depression on my mission. In the thick of things, it feels like things will never change for the better, that you're stuck and you'll never feel joy again. Then, at the end of the week, things got better. I felt much anxiety and uncertainty and dread about applying for a job at the ice rink, but I decided to go ahead because nothing else was panning out. I prayed that I would get a sick feeling in my heart (not stomach, since it was already feeling sick and sore from something I ate), but I didn't. So I moved forth. And I got the job. Just acting on that one choice lifted my spirits. Plus I was able to attend a wedding reception and see a lot of old friends, which brought me much joy. On Sunday, I took the opportunity to bear my testimony about how even when life sucks (because let's be honest, it can be really difficult at times), I've never felt more peace or joy or fulfillment from any other source than Christ. Even in the dark times, I must hold on. That is the very worst time to abandon Christ, the only One who can save you. No other source will make you feel as whole or loved. And now I'm on the other side of things. I feel hope and gratitude and joy. I feel less anxiety for the future, and more hope for good things to come. I just had to stick the hard time out, pushing forward when I couldn't see a purpose for it.

In other news, this week I shopped at DI with Briesa and picked out some jean shorts (one of which was long but later cut and folded into shorts). Wednesday evening, I went with Valerie to help a girl move out of the ward. I had voice lessons in the morning on Thursday with Christina, and she was very happy with my progress. She loves listening to my voice. My mom keeps saying I should record songs and post them on YouTube. Who knows, maybe I will. All day Friday, I lazed about. I took an easy day because for no apparent reason, my stomach had a conniption. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary, but my stomach freaked out and felt like it was tearing itself apart on the inside. So I withered in pain for hours before I fell asleep, and it still hurt (not as bad, thankfully) the next day. On Saturday, I helped clean the church and then I was able to participate in initiatories at the Gilbert Temple. Is it bad to say that I love the Provo City Center Temple more? I just really miss the people and atmosphere there. And I miss working there. Later that afternoon, I had my interview at the ice rink and got the job. That evening, we attended the Campbell's wedding reception.

Church on Sunday was very good. I fasted to know myself better so I can know what I desire and what choices I can make to achieve those desires. I fasted to make friends, to feel hope and motivation and joy and closer to Jesus Christ. I left early for church so I could meet with Brother Rollins. I got a new calling! I am a Relief Society Instructor!! I also took the opportunity to bear my testimony, which was good because it seemed to touch a lot of people, plus gave people the opportunity to know me better. Also, I included a selfie of how cute I looked at church today :)

Much love,

Emily Burnham