Pool Party & Pizzas!

 17 April - 23 April 2023

Hello to the one person who reads this! (Idk how many people actually read it, so maybe it's zero...). Anyway, this past week has been pretty great! I am really taking some things that I've been learning to heart, and I love that they've stuck with me for over a week and are still strong in force. It feels like a lasting change for the absolute better, and I'm so incredibly grateful. My whole literal life has changed by confronting a belief--a thought ingrained inside of me so deeply--that was both untrue and unhealthy. It took control and responsibility for my own wholeness and happiness out of my hands and put it on an unreliable and changing external source. This belief that another person had to complete me, that I had to find my "soul mate" or "better half," or that I wouldn't be completely happy until I was married or had kids. And that meant I could never be happy now. I really had to wrestle with the thought that no one else is going to complete me or bring me happiness. It's not their responsibility, and it doesn't actually work like that, despite all the messages we hear in the media. So if I'm unhappy, then it is my fault because it is my responsibility to make myself happy. And it truly is easy to do so with Jesus Christ because there is so much to be grateful for all the time. I can savor each moment, not worried about missing out on some level of happiness that is currently unobtainable to me. Nope, the highest and richest level of happiness is available to me right now through my Savior Jesus Christ, Who will help me do the impossible and improbably, to "walk on water" in these modern days. He has a purpose for me to fulfill, and He has given me this season of singleness to be fully devoted to Him. Because I've been single these past seven years, I've been able to graduate from BYU, serve a mission, and start a Master's program in marriage and family therapy (that I'm almost done with, btw!!! Just two and a half more quarters!). I will be able to serve so many people for the rest of my life because I took this time to dedicate myself to fulfilling a calling I've felt drawn to since I was in first grade: being a counselor. I am literally living that dream right now as I go through my internship. I am meeting with clients right now and getting to witness changes within them. And this is only the beginning! I'm working on writing books that I'm going to publish, both for my career and for my personal joy. And I'm going to look into public speaking gigs. I have so much potential, and I can only reach it because of this focused, dedicated time I've given to both the Lord and to schooling. And I wouldn't have had the time or energy or money to do so if I was married. Now, I know with God, everything is possible, and that He can provide a way in any circumstance. However, He knows me so well and has taught me so much and has perfect timing to help me in my life, and that's just how it needed to be for me. So, with all that being said, let me tell you about my week! Work has been busy because one of the realty companies changed their branding so ALL their realtors are ordering new signs, so that's kept us super busy. The good news is that they FINALLY fixed the overheating issue so we can actually print at full capacity again! That was a huge blessing. 

On Wednesday evening, I was set apart for my new calling and received a really sweet blessing that made me realize how aware God is of my health concerns and that He is going to be there to support me and heal me as I work to serve Him. On Friday, I didn't have any clients in the morning, so I actually went into work for a couple of hours and my boss bought us all lunch from Thai Chili To Go, which I actually am now obsessed with! I had to drive his big red truck to go get it though because he had to stay for a sign-material delivery. It was kinda scary, but everything went smoothly! Then I had supervision that afternoon, followed by a 1.5 hour session with a couple, and then I attended a swim birthday party with some girls in the ward. 

The highlight of my week was the weekend. Saturday was such a sweet day because I attended the temple in the morning and stared at the picture of Christ standing on some rocks in front of the water, and I LOVE that picture so much. As I stared at it that day, it felt like an invitation to come unto Him and go walk out on the water with Him. That all the tasks and obstacles in my life are nothing with Him because I can just walk right over or through them. Then I got to go shopping with mom and Lucy, and then I attended a baptism. Our ward has had a lot of them lately, and it's been incredible! Then we had the missionaries over for dinner and fed them, and I went to bed and slept for SOOO long. 

I went to church and had a great experience. I really felt the spirit touch my heart, despite feeling nervous about teaching RS because a full lesson plan never really came together. But it went well. (Just by reading the first paragraph of this blog post gives you a slight idea of where the lesson went... hehe). I felt the Spirit and know others did too, and that's really all that counts. Then I stayed for a hot shake at the linger longer to talk to some people (and had a really good conversation with Jasen about life and internship) before heading off to my first meeting as the new stake activities co-chair. Then after that meeting, I talked some more with my friend Jasen (who also had just gotten out of another meeting) while waiting to leave to go to my friend McKenna's house for dinner. She invited me and Val over to make pizzas! It was the cutest thing ever. Then we ended up talking for a couple of hours after, and she let us ride her family's segways! Then I went to bed. The end. :)

Oh yeah! And Sean moved into his new rental room in a house owned by our cousins. Val and I went with mom to check it out and I saw that their realty sign was made from my print shop! I'm excited for Sean because it sounds like this will be a much better situation for him than working overnight shifts at the prison.

Gracelyn is going to grow up to be an artist! ;)

Bulk-order printing!

Our chickens hatched out new baby chicks!!!!

The pizzas turned out yummy!

Rylee's baptism! There was a great turn-out!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Because He Lives

 10 April - 16 April 2023

I feel like I've had a ton of opportunities for personal growth over the last month, which I'm incredibly grateful for, and I am working to maintain the mindset that brought me so much positivity, happiness, and energy. It's still in place, though old ways of thinking occasionally creep in and I have to pull the reins on them and redirect my thoughts to the truth. This past week was SO good, though. On Monday evening, I missed FHE because I had to practice my song for Sunday, a duet called Because He Lives. Our accompanist showed up with a different version of the song that was a half-step down (two sharps instead of three flats) and it really threw me for a loop (but also her playing did because she was not playing the notes on the page but was playing whatever she wanted that sounded good to her with what we were singing. I'm so used to following a piano, but since she was following us, it really threw us off. So we had a rough practice, but set up a follow-up practice for Thursday that went slightly better. On Tuesday after work, I got my last of the three massages I'd been gifted for Christmas. I think my bosses really appreciate my work insight, and I've been helping a lot with printing things on my own without their supervision, which I was so nervous about when I first started there. But it's kind of fun. Business has been low, so I've also been helping with marketing. Tuesday night, I went to play pickleball with my sisters and cousin Andrew and we had an absolute blast! Andrew is so fun to be around and carries a positive energy with him. Plus, whenever I was on Andrew's team, I won! 

Wednesday at my internship, after meeting with two clients, I had my picture taken by the office manager. She is an expert on social media and marketing stuff. On Wednesday evening, I got a new calling as the Stake Activities Co-chair, so now I have three callings! Thursday after work, I went to practice the song, and I was feeling a bit flustered and stressed, but I did better on singing my part (though I still messed up a few parts and we didn't have a perfect run). Then I had a really helpful chat with Jasen after about our friendship and if we were okay or if I'd done anything and it really helped me to recognize his expectations and was overall very helpful and positive, even if I maybe felt a little bit awkward. Thursday evening, we had Andrew's family over for dinner and games, plus I shared a spiritual message with them about happiness coming from a covenant relationship with God, not from relationships or other worldly means. They said it was very inspired. That evening, Val and I went to clean the temple, and we helped move chairs, fluff and vacuum carpet, brush the edges of the carpet with a giant toothbrush, and help clean the sconces with intricate jewel/beading like the chandeliers have, which was quite tedious! Then on Friday, I went down to the Touch Angels office to meet with some clients there before rushing home to meet with a client via telehealth (which she no-showed, and that turned out to be a blessing because then I actually got to eat lunch before attending my hour-long supervision meeting). That went well, and then I had an hour to finish packing for the ward campout that weekend. I drove up with Valerie and Tayla. I was pleasently surprised by how good of a time I had. Overall, when I look back on the ward campout, I was so grateful that I was able to have such a peaceful, in-the-moment, worry-free time. I wasn't thinking about clients or work. I was just able to talk to whoever was around me, get to know them better, have enjoyable conversations, smile, enjoy the activities, and relax. And bond with people around me. It was honestly miraculous. I wasn't worried or anxious or preoccupied. When we first arrived at camp, we started unloading stuff, but then went on a razor ride with Bishop and Brother Keadle for over 30 minutes. Bro Keadle followed so close behind bishop that we were literally eating their dust! After a long time of that, I felt it in my teeth, eyes, and had a pretty fine coating of dust all over me, and breathing was hard, so I covered my nose with my jacket, and finally they noticed and I asked if he could back off a bit, so that helped. Too bad I didn't think to say something sooner. Then we got back to camp, washed up (we literally had dirt in all the pores on our faces!!), and set up our tent and sleeping area. 

Then we had dinner and more people finally started arriving! We had a devotional at 9:30pm and sang songs around the fire, which was fun, and roasted random things (Jasen brought a ton of snacks and things to roast), and then the bishopric members started speaking and it went on long enough to where I started getting freezing!! But I survived. So after it was over, I booked it inside the cabin where it was warm. Then I pretty much stayed in there the rest of the night, eating snacks, talking to people, playing pool, and watching others play ping pong and pool. Then I got to try Jasen's laser outside and we chatted for a bit and he saw like 8 shooting stars and I saw zero... goodness gravy! Guess I'm blind or something, idk! Then I went back around the fire and chatted with people, then got ready for bed and went to sleep... *tried* to go to sleep. The biggest miracle of all was how well I was able to function and still be alert and kind despite being mega sleep deprived, because I did not sleep well (if at all) Friday night. I went to the tent around 1:30am and then proceeded to try and fall asleep for hours while I was cold and people outside were being super noisy. I don't remember falling asleep or waking up, but maybe felt like I was in a trance for a bit? As soon as it was light outside (around 5am), I left the tent and went to the cabin to get ready for the day. I waited quite a while for everyone to finally get up, and then for breakfast, and then we played games, like 9 square and spike ball. I did a lot of the unpacking/take-down work/packing up so we didn't have to worry about it later. It was fun to bond with everyone and play games. 

I was able to nap a bit on the drive home, and then shower and nap once I arrived home. Then I had a date to get ready for with Blake, Spencer's roommate. I'd texted him "Happy Easter" and then we kind of started chatting after that, and then Spencer asked me to find a date to join his group date Saturday night, so I mentioned the possibility of going with Blake, so then Blake asked me. I was tired and sleep-deprived, so I asked how long it would be, and he said an hour. So I'm thinking it'll be about 2 hours total, including driving time. Nope! It was 4.5 hours! It was a lot of fun, and I was surprisingly coherent for being so sleep-deprived, but I was able to enjoy being in the moment and didn't feel any pressure or expectations. I was just able to have an enjoyable time and talk to people and get to know them better. We did two courses at Golf Land and then went out for gelato. 

But let me tell you... I slept SO good that night! So so soundly. It was really nice. Then Sunday morning, I woke up to get ready for an 8:30am meeting I thought I had, but when I showed up, no one was there, so I just went home... lol. I took good care of my voice, drank lots of herbal tea, and prepped for singing in church. I was so happy that Aaron, Brie, and baby Gracelyn came, along with my parents and sister Lucy, AND my grandma and grandpa Burnham! I'd invited a couple other nonmembers, but none of them showed. I got to church a bit early to practice beforehand, and on the drive over, I was feeling SO nervous and I hated that, so I pondered for a bit why I was feeling so nervous and then prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me to just bear powerful testimony and for angels to sing with me, and for people not to even worry about what they hear with their ears, but to hear and feel with their spirits the truth of the message and His love. Then I felt much calmer. Plus, I'd had some revelation about how to improve my singing by leading and being more confident and focusing on testifying. So when we practiced, it went smoothly, and then when we actually performed, it was our best time yet going through it! And we got SO many compliments! I had so many people thank me for bringing the spirit and telling me that I had such a beautiful voice. My friend Mckenna said, "I didn't know you had pipes like that!" and Sister Rollins said I sounded like the princess in Enchanted. Gracelyn was really funny in sacrament meeting though because she kept making spitting noises and lots of people were looking over and laughing. Also, it was really cute because when it was time for us to go up to sing in between the speakers, Jasen waited for me in the aisle and then we walked up together, and then after the song when we walked down the stairs and off the stage, he paused to give me a side hug. Oh, I also got sustained in my new stake calling during that meeting! Anyways, my grandparents were super impressed, my mom was so proud and happy, Valerie said I did amazing, and even my dad said it was a great performance. I'm just so grateful for the opportunity I had to sing my testimony of Christ and reach people in a different way than my words. We ate yummy hamburgers for dinner and I went to stake choir with Valerie, and that was the end of my night!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

God Makes Me Complete

3 April - 9 April 2023

I feel called to repent, to change the way I've thought about the world, myself, and others, and to give up my fear and insecurities in relationships. I am the only one holding myself back from living my best life. I am the only person standing in the way of me acheiving my goals and working on my God-given purpose. My lack of confidence in what I have to offer, my searching for validation from other people instead of truly internalizing that I am a daughter of God, a God who has given everything in His power to make it so I can come back to live with Him. So that I can become like Him. Because of Him, I can become perfect, complete, whole. I don't need other people to fix or complete me. I just need Him. I don't need other people. Period. But I can learn from other people, inspire and be inspired from other people. But I don't need their validation or reassurance or permission to live a life congruent with my goals and desires to serve God by serving His children, by making the biggest impact in this world that I possibly can. And that isn't coming from a place of pride or wanting to appear good in the eyes of others. That is coming from a place of knowing God's plan of salvation in the premortal life and of knowing my love for my Heavenly Father. Knowing His plan is to save all of His children and to help them reach their full potential, I vowed to do my best to help Him, to serve Him. To do my part in bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of each of His children. That means using every means and platform and avenue possible to make an inpact in inspiring others, to hlep them see the world in a way that opens them up to God's spirit. I've felt called to be a counselor from a young age, and I can use that platform to reach all types of people, and the ones I am called to help will find me, will be drawn to me, as I live my authentic and passionate life to the fullest. As I seek after what makes me happy and full of the Spirit. As I pursue knowledge of how to grow personally and in relationships to become your best self, and then as I share that knowledge with other educators and people, spreading good information, which can lead to good inspiration. I do not have to wait for ANYthing to begin doing this. There is no arbitrary requirement I need to reach first, such as getting liscenced or married or living on my own, in order to begin being who God has always meant for me to be. An example, a disciple, an achiever, a passionate person, a confident and choice daughter. Someone who turns to Him for happiness and lives a full and complete life by striving to follow Him. Emily, you are going to make an even bigger impact than you can imagine, and God is placing people in your life to remind you and inspire you, and you are called to return the favor. What you have to offer is priceless, because what God has offered is priceless, and you are offering what He is offering--love, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, hope, light, and direction. So don't you forget it. Don't you speak from a place of insecurity, of self-doubt, of arrogance or ignorance. Know Who makes you complete. Know Who you inherited your worth from. As a literal daughter of God, with part of Him in you, you have more potential than  you realize, and with that comes the power to make your God-given goals come true.

Now that I'm feeling so pumped up and inspired from writing all of that, let me focus on the highlights from my week, the moments that have brought me joy and have taught me lessons. I learned that I haven't been confident in my worth and value, which led me to overcompensate in some areas of my life (in my friendships that I want to deepen and in relationships with the opposite sex). But I also learned that there are other areas of my life where I am the perfect amount of confident and sure of my value (in my therapy office, inviting nonmembers and less-active coworkers to the Easter Catata). I learned that sometimes I overshare, or try to overhelp, and it can cross a boundary or line or create frustration (like in work, trying to figure out how to fix something beyond my skill set or comprehension). I think it comes from wanting to prove how valuable I am as an employer, like I have to prove my worth or something instead of owning the ways that I already am invaluable. The Easter Catata on Saturday was spectacular. Everyone who came felt the Spirit and had an incredible and sacred experience. I was struck with awe that I had sacrificed so many hours to be part of this choir and put on a performance that was truly inspired of God. I didn't have to. I easily could have done other things. But I chose to be part of the choir and made some incredible friends and met amazing people as a result. And got to feel part of something bigger than myself and dwell in a place where people were using their God-given talents to make the world a better place. There is no competition. We are all on the same team. Easter Sunday was good too, because I got to invite even more people to come hear me sing at church, got to connect with others, and got to spend some quality time with my family members.

We went on a date to Barnes & Nobles and read Dad Joke books. It was really fun!

The finished product! I stayed up SO late (or early, I guess) finishing this in time for Jasen's birthday! I feel like I could have done so much more (added more cacti or grass or rocks), but there always comes a point when you have to decide it is "good enough" or complete, and love and value it for what it is.

Besides, Jasen really like it! See how happy he is? He also like the cookie dough and miniature bibles I got him too!

Me looking gorgeous for our Easter Catata performance on Saturday! ;) We sung amazing songs like the Latin Vocal Point version of Nearer My God to Thee, the Bonner family's How Great Thou Art, Trust in You, You Will Be Found, etc. And we had some amazing soloists!

I went out with some friends after the night performance to chat and celebrate. My family came to the earlier performance (and the RS served us the most delicious taco lunch) and then my sister and friends came to the evening performance).

The elders had kinda joked about wanting a shirt like this, and of course with Val, there is no joking, only full-hearted commitment. So her and mom made these epic shirts and wrapped them up in fancing plastic bags, and the elders were so happy!

Lucy folded bunny napkins for easter dinner!

Another cute selfie of me on Easter Sunday.

Ummm... need I say adorable?! Mom got her the dress, and needless to say, the grandbaby+grandpa bond is very strong.

As is the neice and uncle bond!

And this is my newest best friend, McKenna! So stinkin' talented at singing, so warm and inviting and fun and sincere! And funny! We bonded at church a while back in the bathroom and then became choir buddies and now we're going to the ward camp out together, and I'm really looking forward to getting to do more things with her!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Three Hour Choir Practice!?!!

 27 March - 2 April 2023

This week started off pretty well with my more balanced attitude and feelings. I started feeling anxiety about not knowing how to help "fix" people and I realized I just need to seek to understand, not fix. I need to take the pressure off myself to have the solutions and really work harder to listen and understand my clients and be silent while they speak and process. I had some good sessions on Monday and I am getting good feedback from my clients about their experience in therapy with me. It sure keeps you humble. I enjoyed my week at work at the sign shop. The printer is finally back up and running! I was able to bring in the finished signs for CLEAR Counseling, which my supervisor was very happy about. I have been printing some easy things on my own, which is exciting. I can do a lot of things on my own and feel more useful. I went to get my stake temple recommend interview. I had a really good session with one client I was really worrying about. I was stressed about seeing those clients on Wednesday, and I prayed and asked God for help and guidance, and I felt an impression to take things slow. I felt Him guiding me in the sessions with my words and questions and moments of silence, and the sessions went better than I imagined, which I was so incredibly grateful for and humbled by. Friday morning, I got my hair done by aunt Shelli and we had a good time chatting. She also got new baby chicks that I got to see. They're ADORABLE! I love baby chicks *heart-eye emoji*

On Saturday, I missed the first session of conference because I went to the group home in San Tan Valley to see my clients, but they were really short meetings (especially because one of them got a job, so I didn't see him). The good news is that was my last Saturday working at the group home!!! They found out they aren't allowed to offer therapy services at the homes, so they are having us move to a weekday to come to the Mesa office (which is a closer drive for me) and it'll be every other week. So I'll have my weekend again!! I cannot tell you how incredibly happy that makes me and how grateful I feel. And I think it'll be better for the clients because they do not like giving up their weekend either, and I think doing it in the office will be more productive because they will be more focused (because it's therapy with me or their same old groups that they tend to complain about). I know this won't last for long because I'm playing with the idea of offering group therapy for couples on Saturdays to get the relational hours I need. I am in the process of reading different material so I can then map out the course material into six to eight weeks of class content. Then I'll need to create slides to go along with each lesson and find or make handouts. Then once all that is done, I need to set the dates and make flyers and get the word out. So that'll take a couple of months, and I plan on enjoying my free Saturdays until then! Plus, I am actually super excited by the prospect of facilitating groups. It will be the closest to teaching Sunday lessons, which I really enjoy. And it'll be at our clinic in Chandler. So I think I will be more excited and willing to give up my Saturdays when the time comes for that. Saturday was Lucy's birthday, so once I got home from internship, I gave her the card and present I got for her, which she liked. It was a mini bible keychain. She collects keychains, but was suprised to learn it had the actual words of the bible in it! It wasn't blank. It's super hard to read, actually, but pretty cool. So she kept showing it off to everyone. After the second session of conference, Lucy and I went to Deseret Industries and looked at books, which I bought more for my collection... they were all related to psychology and my profession. And I found a journal edition of the Book of Mormon that I felt inspired to get for someone, maybe one of the recent converts in our ward. And I bought Lucy a book (and she bought several others... haha), which was a Christmas present coupon she cashed in.

Sunday was general conference, and I really enjoyed listening to the talks and resting. It seriously felt like a day of rest. I was so light and free without any pressing worries. I felt so inspired and connected to God and His church. I was able to play a board game with my sisters that late afternoon, and then we had pizzas for dinner with Aaron, Brie, Sean, and grandpa over. We took a sibling picture of supply and demand for Lucy's economics teacher, who we all apparently had in high school. Then I carpooled to stake choir with Jasen... it turned into a THREE HOUR LONG PRACTICE! My voice was kinda dead half-way through because I haven't been using it in three weeks since I've been sick. But it was good overall. I'm making lots of friends at choir, which I'm stoked about. Also, I had a good chat with Jasen on the way home and in my driveway, and it was just much needed because I haven't had the opportunity to just have a real, genuine chat with a friend in a while, and it was so fun and connecting and inspiring. So, all in all, a pretty great week. Also, I had plenty of opportunities to hold and play with the baby Gracelyn this week :) And go on uni rides with the fam!

Much love,

Emily Burnham