Because He Lives

 10 April - 16 April 2023

I feel like I've had a ton of opportunities for personal growth over the last month, which I'm incredibly grateful for, and I am working to maintain the mindset that brought me so much positivity, happiness, and energy. It's still in place, though old ways of thinking occasionally creep in and I have to pull the reins on them and redirect my thoughts to the truth. This past week was SO good, though. On Monday evening, I missed FHE because I had to practice my song for Sunday, a duet called Because He Lives. Our accompanist showed up with a different version of the song that was a half-step down (two sharps instead of three flats) and it really threw me for a loop (but also her playing did because she was not playing the notes on the page but was playing whatever she wanted that sounded good to her with what we were singing. I'm so used to following a piano, but since she was following us, it really threw us off. So we had a rough practice, but set up a follow-up practice for Thursday that went slightly better. On Tuesday after work, I got my last of the three massages I'd been gifted for Christmas. I think my bosses really appreciate my work insight, and I've been helping a lot with printing things on my own without their supervision, which I was so nervous about when I first started there. But it's kind of fun. Business has been low, so I've also been helping with marketing. Tuesday night, I went to play pickleball with my sisters and cousin Andrew and we had an absolute blast! Andrew is so fun to be around and carries a positive energy with him. Plus, whenever I was on Andrew's team, I won! 

Wednesday at my internship, after meeting with two clients, I had my picture taken by the office manager. She is an expert on social media and marketing stuff. On Wednesday evening, I got a new calling as the Stake Activities Co-chair, so now I have three callings! Thursday after work, I went to practice the song, and I was feeling a bit flustered and stressed, but I did better on singing my part (though I still messed up a few parts and we didn't have a perfect run). Then I had a really helpful chat with Jasen after about our friendship and if we were okay or if I'd done anything and it really helped me to recognize his expectations and was overall very helpful and positive, even if I maybe felt a little bit awkward. Thursday evening, we had Andrew's family over for dinner and games, plus I shared a spiritual message with them about happiness coming from a covenant relationship with God, not from relationships or other worldly means. They said it was very inspired. That evening, Val and I went to clean the temple, and we helped move chairs, fluff and vacuum carpet, brush the edges of the carpet with a giant toothbrush, and help clean the sconces with intricate jewel/beading like the chandeliers have, which was quite tedious! Then on Friday, I went down to the Touch Angels office to meet with some clients there before rushing home to meet with a client via telehealth (which she no-showed, and that turned out to be a blessing because then I actually got to eat lunch before attending my hour-long supervision meeting). That went well, and then I had an hour to finish packing for the ward campout that weekend. I drove up with Valerie and Tayla. I was pleasently surprised by how good of a time I had. Overall, when I look back on the ward campout, I was so grateful that I was able to have such a peaceful, in-the-moment, worry-free time. I wasn't thinking about clients or work. I was just able to talk to whoever was around me, get to know them better, have enjoyable conversations, smile, enjoy the activities, and relax. And bond with people around me. It was honestly miraculous. I wasn't worried or anxious or preoccupied. When we first arrived at camp, we started unloading stuff, but then went on a razor ride with Bishop and Brother Keadle for over 30 minutes. Bro Keadle followed so close behind bishop that we were literally eating their dust! After a long time of that, I felt it in my teeth, eyes, and had a pretty fine coating of dust all over me, and breathing was hard, so I covered my nose with my jacket, and finally they noticed and I asked if he could back off a bit, so that helped. Too bad I didn't think to say something sooner. Then we got back to camp, washed up (we literally had dirt in all the pores on our faces!!), and set up our tent and sleeping area. 

Then we had dinner and more people finally started arriving! We had a devotional at 9:30pm and sang songs around the fire, which was fun, and roasted random things (Jasen brought a ton of snacks and things to roast), and then the bishopric members started speaking and it went on long enough to where I started getting freezing!! But I survived. So after it was over, I booked it inside the cabin where it was warm. Then I pretty much stayed in there the rest of the night, eating snacks, talking to people, playing pool, and watching others play ping pong and pool. Then I got to try Jasen's laser outside and we chatted for a bit and he saw like 8 shooting stars and I saw zero... goodness gravy! Guess I'm blind or something, idk! Then I went back around the fire and chatted with people, then got ready for bed and went to sleep... *tried* to go to sleep. The biggest miracle of all was how well I was able to function and still be alert and kind despite being mega sleep deprived, because I did not sleep well (if at all) Friday night. I went to the tent around 1:30am and then proceeded to try and fall asleep for hours while I was cold and people outside were being super noisy. I don't remember falling asleep or waking up, but maybe felt like I was in a trance for a bit? As soon as it was light outside (around 5am), I left the tent and went to the cabin to get ready for the day. I waited quite a while for everyone to finally get up, and then for breakfast, and then we played games, like 9 square and spike ball. I did a lot of the unpacking/take-down work/packing up so we didn't have to worry about it later. It was fun to bond with everyone and play games. 

I was able to nap a bit on the drive home, and then shower and nap once I arrived home. Then I had a date to get ready for with Blake, Spencer's roommate. I'd texted him "Happy Easter" and then we kind of started chatting after that, and then Spencer asked me to find a date to join his group date Saturday night, so I mentioned the possibility of going with Blake, so then Blake asked me. I was tired and sleep-deprived, so I asked how long it would be, and he said an hour. So I'm thinking it'll be about 2 hours total, including driving time. Nope! It was 4.5 hours! It was a lot of fun, and I was surprisingly coherent for being so sleep-deprived, but I was able to enjoy being in the moment and didn't feel any pressure or expectations. I was just able to have an enjoyable time and talk to people and get to know them better. We did two courses at Golf Land and then went out for gelato. 

But let me tell you... I slept SO good that night! So so soundly. It was really nice. Then Sunday morning, I woke up to get ready for an 8:30am meeting I thought I had, but when I showed up, no one was there, so I just went home... lol. I took good care of my voice, drank lots of herbal tea, and prepped for singing in church. I was so happy that Aaron, Brie, and baby Gracelyn came, along with my parents and sister Lucy, AND my grandma and grandpa Burnham! I'd invited a couple other nonmembers, but none of them showed. I got to church a bit early to practice beforehand, and on the drive over, I was feeling SO nervous and I hated that, so I pondered for a bit why I was feeling so nervous and then prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me to just bear powerful testimony and for angels to sing with me, and for people not to even worry about what they hear with their ears, but to hear and feel with their spirits the truth of the message and His love. Then I felt much calmer. Plus, I'd had some revelation about how to improve my singing by leading and being more confident and focusing on testifying. So when we practiced, it went smoothly, and then when we actually performed, it was our best time yet going through it! And we got SO many compliments! I had so many people thank me for bringing the spirit and telling me that I had such a beautiful voice. My friend Mckenna said, "I didn't know you had pipes like that!" and Sister Rollins said I sounded like the princess in Enchanted. Gracelyn was really funny in sacrament meeting though because she kept making spitting noises and lots of people were looking over and laughing. Also, it was really cute because when it was time for us to go up to sing in between the speakers, Jasen waited for me in the aisle and then we walked up together, and then after the song when we walked down the stairs and off the stage, he paused to give me a side hug. Oh, I also got sustained in my new stake calling during that meeting! Anyways, my grandparents were super impressed, my mom was so proud and happy, Valerie said I did amazing, and even my dad said it was a great performance. I'm just so grateful for the opportunity I had to sing my testimony of Christ and reach people in a different way than my words. We ate yummy hamburgers for dinner and I went to stake choir with Valerie, and that was the end of my night!

Much love,

Emily Burnham