17 July - 23 July 2023
This past week, I've eaten lots of junk food and not enough healthy food, so my body was not the happiest with me, but my mental health was still (fortunately) really well and I had some amazing breakthroughs with clients. I met with a couple for 2.5 hours and it was two hours in that the wife had a breakthrough to her primary emotion of fear that has been driving beliefs and actions that have contributed to the presenting problem, and that was HUGE! I've actually been feeling like a competent therapist. Definitely not feeling like I know everything, but I think I'm becoming more comfortable with my role of perpetually not knowing, and of continuing to be curious and guide the clients to their own answers and solutions. I get to be the expert on helping them be the expert; I get to be the expert in genuine curiosity and acceptance. I've been living under this pressure to know exactly what I'm doing and feeling immensely inadequate and unsure, which has negatively impacted my sessions in the past, but I've been able to see past those false beliefs and have grown more comfortable with what I do, what is actually expected of me, and the impact I reasonably have on people--my demeanor and compassion and curiosity will impact them more than any words or teachings I can say.
My friend Kimberly Smith got baptized Sunday morning! She lives in our ward boundaries, but her coworker goes to a different ward and she became more comfortable going with him there, so she was baptized into that ward instead. But I still had the honor and privilege of attending tons of her lessons, and she shared with me what a big influence I've had on her conversion story, which was so nice to hear because you really just don't know. I've worked hard to be there for her and testify and have felt the Spirit with her in lessons and invited her to things and have hung out, and I'm grateful that she appreciated my efforts and they touched her. Her baptism was beautiful and well attended! They had to put up an extra row of chairs during the first half because there were so many people. Her mom and step-dad both came and enjoyed the services, which was a huge answer to prayers, as her mom had been sending her anti stuff the two+ weeks leading up to her baptism. Kimberly asked me to give the closing prayer because she said she loves my prayers, that I give the best prayers from anyone she's ever heard, which also really touched my heart (and hey, no pressure, right?). Haha, I didn't feel tons of pressure. I just prayed to know in my heart what to say and the words came easily because prayer is really just me talking to my Heavenly Father, asking for blessings for those there and expressing gratitude to Him for what He has done in our lives. It was a beautiful ceremony and Kimberly looked overcome with joy and happiness.
Therapy has made me hyperaware of a lot of my inadequacies and shortcomings, but it is also helping me more readily recognize my strengths and power. I am honored to be able to work on improving myself each day, focusing on the joy that comes as a gift from following Jesus Christ and trusting in Him to work out all the shortcomings and turn them into something great that will benefit myself and others instead of being sad or disappointed or embarrassed or defensive about my shortcomings. I can be comfortable with all the parts of who I am, which will empower me to do great work for the Lord while He makes up for my inadequacies AND turns them into strength.
The other exciting thing that happened this week is that I was able to film a follow-up video to the Sound of Freedom reaction one I posted last week, which had received SO many views and hits. I got over 270k views and over 1,000 subscribers from it. I asked my supervisor to help me film a follow-up video on how everyone can help, and then I spent the weekend editing them and just posted them today (one on my channel, one on the CLEAR Counseling channel) and I hope they take off as well and make a difference. I felt so blessed because it takes people almost a year to get that many subscribers and views, and it's only been 3 months for me. The Lord really has blessed me and gifted me with this because I've been wanting to do a therapy channel for years and finally got around to doing it at the end of April, committing to posting content, and I got around 20 to 50 views on my videos, but now with that one video I did, my views have increased, and for me, it's not about being famous; it's about reaching the right people with the messages I'm so passionate about sharing to help the world become a better place. And now I get to start doing that! Not to mention, I'm SO close to meeting the criteria to get monetized, which blew my mind because that typically takes a year after starting a channel. My videos already show ads, but I don't get paid for them, but hopefully in the next 2 days, I will meet the criteria, and what an extra blessing any income would be in helping me pay for schooling and start doing the things I want to do to make an impact in the world without overstressing about finances (not that I expect to make a lot of money at all, but it was like a nod from God saying He sees me and my financial worries and has my back).
Much love,
Emily Burnham
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