Crowded at Castles and Coasters

16 October - 22 October 2023

Monday night was the huge Castle and Coasters event! I met with clients beforehand, quickly finished up notes, then took myself out to dinner for Thai food. I ate it on the long drive to the event, so luckily I arrived in one piece. It was kinda hard to eat Pad Thai while trying to drive and merge onto the highway. The event that night was SO crowded! I had brought bags of canned food for a food drive they were doing, and I had to park across the street at Walmart because the C&C lot was full. As I was carrying the bags across the lot, one of the bags broke! So then I had to try to divide those cans among the other two bags and hope and pray they didn't break too! Luckily I made it to the entrance and put them in the container without further mishap. And the people waiting out by the drop box were SO happy to see all the cans I brought (courtesy of a bunch of cans Briesa wanted to get rid of). It became a lot more fun once Val showed up, and I hung with her and a few other girls in the ward for the rest of the night. I ran into my cousin Cassidy and we chatted for a while. It was cool because we hadn't really talked or interacted since we were both kids. I ran into my friend McKenna and we went on the tower of terror drop ride. I had to wait SO LONG in line, but it was fine. Definitely not worth it in the long run, but oh well. Overall, I went on 4 rides total. There were maybe two other ones I wanted to try, but we just ran out of time/lines were too long. So we just left and went home.

On Tuesday, I was really tired and not in the best mood at work, but I survived. I was kind of grumpy that night and didn't want to do much. On Wednesday, I went to work in the morning and then had clients all afternoon and got back late in the evening. I had a conference planning meeting I had to hop on Zoom for after I finished with my last clients, and after I drove home, I listened in while finishing client notes. Fortunately, I was able to give my best to my clients, but after that, and other than that, I was dead. Tired and not feeling like I was in a good or positive mood. Thursday, I was in a slightly better mood and was doing better. I made sure to take a break from work to get lunch and got Pad Thai from another place, but it wasn't as good as I remembered, but better than the one I had on Monday. I was still low on energy and not feeling well.

On Friday, I had a busy afternoon, so after my work meetings, supervision meetings, and meeting a new client, I had a gap in my schedule, so I went down the road to a new Thai place and got... you guessed it, Pad Thai for dinner! LOL. It was the best one out of the three I had this week, but it was also the most expensive one.... oof. But at least I didn't go hungry between sessions. I stayed late into the night with my client. That session was also very emotional, and I don't know that it was related to that session or was just an accumulation of the week (and all the pad Thai I had), but my heart felt like it couldn't beat normally as I was driving home, like it was pressured or being squeezed. I couldn't get in a full breathe. Fortunately, I made it home in one piece. I didn't do any client notes, though, so then on Saturday, I had to buckle down and do SO many client notes. But at least I got to sleep in. I also had the workshop with the couple for two hours. I went out for frozen yogurt with Kimberly and we had a nice visit, then I went back home to finish notes... blah. 

Sunday was good. I finished working on meal plans and am going to try a diet with gut-healthy foods. A lot of them are dairy products, which are supposed to help give you the healthy gut bacteria you need, so we'll see what side effects I have, or if it helps my gut issues. We got a new bishopric because the YSA second counselor is getting married next month, and Brother Keadle is no longer the first counselor in the bishopric, but he is the ward executive secretary at least! So I'm just happy he is staying in our ward. We now have two YSAs as the first and second councilors, which is kinda weird, but I'm sure we'll get used to it and I'm just going to trust in the Lord because He knows what will benefit His children best. I got a priesthood blessing after church from Brother Keadle, and it was comforting to be reminded of how special I am to my Heavenly Father and how aware of me that He is. I also had a really good talk with my mom that evening and was able to process through some things. I went with Val to stake choir, and that was good. I really enjoy spending time with her.

Gracelyn went along with Aaron and Briesa to Hawaii on Wednesday, and they will be there for a whole week. Bri has been sending me some pics, and I made a funny meme out of one of them! We all sure miss that cutie pie. I also started teaching myself Korean this past week. It has surprisingly become a motivating thing that has gotten me through some rough days this past week, and I'm excited to see how much I progress!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Right Where I'm Needed

 9 October - 15 October 2023

How is it that graduation is closer than ever yet still feels so far away? It is maybe because of the giant licensing exam that still lies ahead? I found out today that first-time test takers have a 69% pass rate. Well, that is not the most encouraging statistic ever, but I'm determined to be in that percentage! Some things to be proud of this past week: I took time to write in my journal, I held my first Hold Me Tight workshop with a couple, I have a great client retention rate, I started learning Korean, and I've consistently kept up with my YouTube channel, even though the statistics of getting monetized have been pretty depressing. Those last 100 views I need are taking FOREVER to get, and it's kind of really discouraging and depressing. I just want to be successful! But I know it takes time and consistency, and it'll happen one day, hopefully. I just need better content. Or maybe I need to run ads to push out my videos to get those views. If I don't get monetized by the end of the year, I just might do that. It's true that I'm a little all over the place with my videos, the content in them, but I am trying. Maybe it's just not interesting enough. Maybe I need to discuss more hot topics. We will see. But this is supposed to be positive, not a depressing entry!! So, on that note, let me share some good things from this past week. I watched a really good Kdrama called Crash Landing on You, which brought me so much joy. I think it would be cool to learn Korean not only because of my new love for Kdramas, but also because I love their culture and people, and I'd love to visit one day, and even be prepared to teach the gospel in the Korean language if I get called on a senior mission there! Who knows?!! Plus, it makes watching Kdramas feel more productive because then it's like language exposure, ya know? To help with my learning ;) Also, I got to see the cute baby Gracelyn a lot, and she is really growing up fast! She is very active and likes to point around to where she wants to go. She is talking a lot more, but understands even more. Also, mom got me a new cute dress that I wore on Sunday, and Val wanted to take a picture since we were kinda matching with the blue. 

I want to close with my testimony and revelation I received this past week. As I was contemplating where I was at in life, I remembered that God wanted me to be home these past two years. If he wanted me to stay in Utah, I would have gotten into the graduate programs there, but instead His purpose was for me to come home and be a source of strength for my family. In the last two years that I've been home, I've been there for my younger sister's senior year of high school, to help her through those stresses. I've been a friend to my older sister. I feel closer to both of my sisters than I ever have. I've been able to go to the gym every weekday with my mom and provide an outlet for her. We've been healthier both physically and emotionally. I got to see my sister-in-law go through her pregnancy, and I've gotten to watch my niece grow up! Those are priceless moments that I would have missed if God hadn't called me to be at home during this time. He is so aware of me and has a plan for me, and He knows I am right where I'm needed.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Petting Zoo, Japanese Festival, & Soccer Game

 2 October - 8 October 2023

This past week was a really good one! Monday night was a carnival FHE activity with a petting zoo! I got to hold an adorable baby kitten!! And pet an alpaca, though that animal was not very friendly. When I got home from work on Tuesday, I had a bad headache, so I went to sleep and just woke up for tithing settlement that evening, then ate dinner and went to sleep. On Wednesday, I saw some clients and had a pretty awesome therapy session with a couple that evening. I love it when the spirit is so palpable in the room and I'm speaking from a place of compassion and love and challenge. On Thursday, I came home from work with a headache again. I think it's because of all the loud noises and smells of the ink. On Friday, my clients canceled, so I just had a couple of meetings to attend, and then I spent all of Friday afternoon filming videos for my YouTube channel. It kind of is a lot of work, especially when you do a lot of it at once, but I'm hoping it'll be so worth it in the long run. Already, I've had a couple of clients/potential clients say that watching my videos is what drew them to me. So that's pretty cool, I guess. Friday night, I attended the scary movie night, but it wasn't as relaxing and chill as the previous weeks, but that's okay. It was still enjoyable overall. Saturday morning, I went to help clean the church, and Zoey invited me to attend a Japanese festival with her, so we went that afternoon! I got sun burnt from waiting in such a long line to get in! That evening, I went with some girls in the ward and my sister to a soccer game, and I was able to talk with one of the girls, Whitney, and we really bonded and had such a great talk. It was very insightful and healing, and I'm so grateful that God puts people in my path to help me on my journey. Sunday was a long and tiring day, but so fulfilling! It was fast Sunday, and we had a baptism and linger longer after. I made pumpkin bread for the linger longer, then went to ward choir, then attended church, then the baptism was an hour after that, then the linger longer was another 40 minutes. But I'm so happy Sky got baptized! She is so cool and I'm excited to get to know her better. And there were quite a bit of gluten-free treats at linger longer, so I quickly got a sugar rush since I've been limiting my sugar. But it was super awesome! Then Sunday night, I attended a game night at Jessica's house, and it was a pretty big turn out and was a lot of fun! It was a fun-filled weekend and a great change of pace from feeling lonely and disconnected. I've even felt more connected to Bishop and he greets me more warmly than he used to, which I'm so grateful for. He gave a closing prayer at our tithing settlement and it brought me peace and such joy, and when I got into my car after, I wrote down some of the things he had said that had touched me. So, all I can say is that God is aware of me and actively blessing me with amazing people. He has turned my heartache into bonding and healing with others. I am filled with gratitude to know my purpose, my identity, and to be able to share and uplift those around me.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Lowest Lows Lead to Perspective and Gratitude

11 September - 1 October 2023

This past Monday for FHE, we had a combined country dancing activity with another ward, and I had the perfect outfit prepared! I found a flannel shirt in Lucy's closet (which has become my favorite clothing store) and wore ankle boots that matched well, and then had my hair in braids. I looked the country girl part!! I did not have super high expectations or anything, but I just knew I'd go and have as much fun as I could. I chatted and talked with some girls there, said hi to some guys, and one guy I'd met the previous week at a movie night asked if he could ask me to dance. It was so funny because he walked up to me and grabbed my hand and asked me in front of the girls I was talking to. I said yes, so then when the activity started and they had the guys and girls line up and then the guy ask the girl, he came right up to me and asked me, which felt so good because I've had a history of being the girl on the sideline that never gets asked to dance, so it was healing for the heart. He was fun and pretty good, so we had a lot of fun learning and dancing together, and I was all smiles and laughs (all the messing up was my fault, but I was doing pretty good, overall). Then another guy from my ward asked me to dance later in the evening, and it was a lot of fun! That night was definitely the highlight of this past week. Now, it's been three weeks since I've written, so some other highlights that happened were the Friday before this past week, I went to a scary movie night (where I met that one guy) and it was such a chill and relaxed and cozy evening. I sat on the couch with a soft blanket I'd brought and listened to people socialize and talked a little bit with some people, then we watched Coraline, and I was so cozy that I stayed the whole time and felt so peaceful and relaxed. So then I went again this past Friday night too, and we watched The Haunted Mansion. One of the greatest things that happened over the past three weeks was I was able to reconcile with a friend in the ward, due to miscommunication and differing expectations, we stopped talking and kind of ignored each other for a while, and I could not find peace about the situation. I prayed and prayed, and was in such a low space and had the thought that I needed to talk it out, so I contacted him and we met up and talked. It was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done, for so many reasons, but it also brought much needed closure and peace, and even though it was still tricky to naviage our friendship/relationship after that point and I felt so foolish and vulnerable and embarrassed many times during and after, I stayed true to myself and my values or being vulnerable even when it's difficult and using positive self talk instead of wallowing in embarrassment or resentment, and I am so humbled and grateful. As dark of a place I have been in for a while, I can finally say with such great gratitude in my heart that I am in a brighter and holier place now because of the things I learned and the person I have become as I stuck through the hard times with hope and faith and submissiveness. So much healing has come, and I've learned so much about myself. I have such great desires to be so incredibly kind and uplifting to those around me, and I have so much love and grace for myself and don't feel the need to force relationships or friendships, but can be content existing in the present moment with whoever is around me. And I feel like as I've magnified myself and my individual mission and journey, I am now ready to sacrifice and take on covenants and commitments to start a family and sacrifice to build something greater than myself unto God. So yeah, I've experienced the hardest week of my life followed by a week of so much gratitude, humility, perspective, and desire to build something greater than myself. So, some other things that have been happening these past weeks... I went to a murder mystery dinner! I played a rich widow who had killed her previous three husbands for their money... but wasn't the killer of the night at least! Val had the easiest role! She got to be a reporter, the lucky duck. I've been doing lots of marketing research at my sign job, trying to help them grow. I've also gotten so many clients that I'm now at the point where I really cannot accept any new clients without overwhelming my scheduling and causing great anxiety. I convinced a couple to attend a workshop I'm going to put on, so now I will get more than enough relational hours and don't need to stress anymore about that! I'll get more than enough hours and don't need to spread myself any more thin. Also, I've honestly been so blessed with how well my YouTube channel has done considering the short amount of time I've had it and that I still feel like I often don't know what to post or talk about. But I'm consistent, so that's good. And I'm seriously considering and planning how to expound on my hobbies of writing so I can get my book published and work on the second book. Now that I have slightly more time with classes finishing up, I can devote some hours each week to writing. I have such big goals and dreams, but when I look back on my life, I've already achieved a lot and can continue to do so! I've also been attending meetings with the area 70 president regarding tentatively planning a giant YSA conference in Arizona. I am so grateful for the person I have become because of Jesus Christ. Without Him, I would be lost. I wouldn't have drive and purpose and determination and hope to continue to work towards lofty goals even though life is tough and I have many shortcomings. Because of Him, I am not held back or limited by my weaknesses, and I can continually become a new creature. 

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Aaron lifting Briesa up on his forklift:

Whitney got to sing in General Conference!! It made me so happy to see her.

Our murder mystery crew!

A lovely picture of Jesus I came across this week :)