I Can Feel the Love

10 February - 16 February 2020

I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I love my Father in Heaven. And I love my family. Also, my ward is pretty great, too! No matter what happens every week, my God is there for me. I am humbled by the amazing lessons He is teaching me and awed by the outpouring of His love that comes when I don't feel like I deserve it. My Heavenly Father is the perfect example of love to me. He knows how to encourage us at our lowest moments and love us in our weakest moments. I have a goal to be like Him. To love others in their weakest moments so they can feel His love through me. What's the point of judging people for their weaknesses? How does that help them—or us?
Here are some highlights of my past week:

Monday
We had dinner at the Bishop's home for FHE. I got to meet some new guys in the ward and talk with a bunch of different people, plus eat a delicious meal! I definitely had a loss of appetite today and didn't feel well, but I was able to overcome that and still find joy in the day. Also, my new favorite song if the week? My mom introduced it to me: "Gonna Get Along Without Ya Now."

Tuesday
Still felt a bit off today, but ice skating makes everything better! I'm slowly (very, very slowly) improving! But I love the feeling of progression, and I love getting better at something very few other people do. The kids were a bit crazy at piano lessons today. I think that means they like me? Or are at least more comfortable with me! They really are good kids and I enjoy getting to see them every week.

Wednesday
I feel so blessed with an amazing job currently. I am making more than I ever have before at BYU, plus I get to work many of my hours from home. And I feel very fulfilled by helping others to succeed in their online courses.

Thursday
We got heart-attacked by some cuties in our ward! This made me feel so loved and happy. Service makes everyone feel good.

Friday
My temple shift was good. I had a new lady training me today. I love seeing people I know at the temple! And my family sent me the cutest card! I love that my dad said, "I hope you know how loved you are back home. I hope you find someone up there to love you too." Haha, dad. I'm trying! That afternoon, I spent some time at the library editing videos. On my way home, some cute girls handed me a Valentine! I also had the opportunity to receive a priesthood blessing because I have had trouble breathing for the past week and haven't been feeling well. It was a wonderful blessing. I know Heavenly Father is aware of me and the progress I am making. He is proud that I am learning to turn to Him with my concerns. So many people think it is a weakness to seek help, but Heavenly Father sees it as a strength. A sign of meekness and humility. I went with Whitney to a intramural basketball game and afterwards stopped by a Vday party a girl in our ward was having.

Saturday
I don't think I did anything today. I just felt sick and relaxed. I worked from home for a couple of hours and did laundry. I also watched a lot of movies/shows on Amazon Prime! I am trying to take good care of this body God has gifted me with.

Sunday
So many people were gone today! Due to the long weekend, many travelled home. Including all of my roommates! So I had the whole apartment to myself this weekend. It was cool that my roomies and friends were gone so that I could reach out to new people and make new friends.

Life is good, even when you aren't feeling good. God is always so good to me. I'm grateful for the opportunity I've had for Him to shape my views and help me progress. I love Him!

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Author for Intuition!

4 November - 10 November 2019

This was a great week! I found out such good news and have been busy doing productive things. Well, trying to! 

Monday

We had a combined FHE to celebrate the Day of the Dead. We had chips, salsa, and guac at the church and watched the movie Coco. It was so fun! On my way home, I felt prompted to stop by and say "hi" to Whitney. I didn't realize she had people over for FHE, but she was glad I stopped by because she had a picture to give me. She said in Sunday School they were asked to draw someone who is an amazing example to them, and she drew me! It made me feel so good and loved.

Tuesday

Work was super interesting. A small group of the actors are pulled aside that week and don't have lessons. Instead, we attend "boot camp." We played two truths and a lie to start off, and then talked about different things. The teacher had to leave early because she had class, so she left us with an activity to finish where we created a lesson plan, then swapped with the person next to us and taught them the lesson they had written. I was looking forward to it, but the girl I got paired up with made it one of the worst experiences I've had in a looonnnggg time. She got very defensive because I "already knew" everything she was trying to teach me and she felt frustrated. Then when it was time to switch and I was going to teach her, she closed off herself to me and was making it difficult. The Spirit was not there. After about three minutes of this, she finally broke her wall and opened up about why she was feeling that way and said it was intimidating that I knew so much and started preaching at me and getting super defensive and asking me intrusive questions. I had a lot I could have said to her, but I knew they would offend her, so it was emotionally exhausting to try to follow the Spirit to know what to say and how to react... for the next hour that we kept talking. She wouldn't let it go until she thought "it" was resolved. Ugh. So I was drained for the whole rest of the evening and hope I am never like that ever. And if I have been, I sincerely apologize. So sincerely.

The best thing also happened today! The giant research paper I wrote last semester got accepted into BYU's undergraduate psychology journal, Intuition! I'm going to be a published author! And it will look soooo good on my graduate school application! Wow, that makes me soooo excited!!!

Wednesday

Y'all. I made an appointment to meet with a guy who apparently cures food allergies. I heard about him from a couple in my mission. The guy lives in St. George, and a senior missionary couple I love just got back from their mission, and they live in St. George. I was able to plan a weekend trip to stay with them and visit the doctor's office. They live twelve minutes from the place! What a cool blessing! I hope everything works out so my stomach can stop hating me. 

Thursday

What a solid day. At work, we were given one to two hours to go to the new building at the MTC where they have giant murals throughout the building (twelve total) and find one that spoke to us. I saw this one of Moses parting the red sea and was immediately overcome with the Spirit. God truly does accomplish the impossible through us. We might feel insignificant--Moses vocally expressed his insecurities--and yet God uses imperfect people to accomplish miracles. So many of the murals spoke to me. I was able to contemplate my standing before God and feel that He knows I am trying and is proud of my efforts. That evening, I went with Miranda and a sister from the ward we minister to, Andrea, to eat fries at The Wall and then to a movie called The Price of Free. It was a very emotional movie about child slavery, but really cool to be informed about and inspired in knowing more ways to help others.

Friday

I need to quit my early morning job on Fridays. It's just so hard because I love my boss and the people there, and I wouldn't get to be part of their lives if I quit! I went to my 8am class and had a fun time painting a Moon Jelly (type of jellyfish). That class has made me so artsy. Plus my teacher told me I can come over to her place to take pictures for my project, since all my friends have flaked out on me! I went to a training for my TA job and worked on my essay for the rest of the night. Since I'm such a genius (read this with a sarcastic tone), I wrote 7.5 pages for my 4-5 page paper and then had to worry about condensing it.

Saturday

What a day! Y'all, I can see myself improving in trusting God. I woke up, ate breakfast, spent 1.5 hours on homework, then rushed to get ready to attend the temple. I needed to make the 11:20 session so I could make it to work at the MTC on time. I got into the session, but I was in the very back row and was worried it would take too long and I'd be late. I was stressing and not feeling the Spirit, but then decided to trust God. He's a God of miracles and has promised all things will work together for our good. I put aside my worries (eventually. It was still a struggle) and enjoyed the session. By the time I was done with the session, it was only 1:05, so I plenty of time to change and make it to work by 1:30! God is the best! And I love the temple. I heard a super cool story from my supervisor at work and asked her to be on my YouTube channel, to which she happily agreed! Yay!

Sunday

I had a great Sunday. The talks in sacrament meeting were awesome, and we had an emotional relief society lesson about weaknesses and challenges we are going through. It made me realize why I feel so lonely, and why so many people of my age group feel so lonely. I am missing love. I have been away from family so long that I forget what it is like to love someone so unconditionally and to feel that kind of love back. You love your friends, but you naturally have a higher and holier love for your family. Like, even when they bug you and hurt you and annoy you, you still love them. I don't feel loved deeply and cared about as much as I want or need, because my friends are busy with school too. They have other obligations and family members. It made me realize how excited I am to be with my family again and to one day have a family of my own. It also helped me not to feel so alone or like I was a bad person for not feeling loved or cared about. Family is so special. I wasn't able to post a video today for my YouTube channel because we ran out of time to film it, and the video that was filmed wasn't edited enough to be put up just yet. Stay tuned in because there are some amazing experiences that are going to be shared in the following months!

Love, 

Emily Burnham

Finals and Friendships

12 August - 18 August

Hey! What a week! Life is such a roller-coaster; it is a fact of life! This week had its ups and downs, but as I reflect over my week, I can't helped but feel so blessed, overall. I didn't really take any pictures this week, so I took two blurry screen-shots from the videos I took of me ice skating!

Monday
Last day of classes finally arrived! Hooray! But also yikes. On the bright side, I didn't have to go in for work at 5am because I wasn't hired back at my custodial job (after being fired so I could work ACT camp). I went in around 7:30am to pick up the paperwork to fill out in order to get re-hired. I had my last class for the summer! We presented our research project, which was really cool. Ours was one of the few experiments that actually found an effect! For Family Home Evening, our wards combined out on the church lawn, eating pizza. I went for a bit but didn't stay long because I couldn't have the pizza.

Tuesday
I had work this morning. Blah. But at least I got a raise so I'm now making $12 an hour! Valerie was actually up before me, finishing packing up. I gave her a big hug goodbye, and she left on her way back to AZ for graduate school. Farewell, my sista sista! Also, I had my interview this afternoon to be a TRC actor. I think it went well, but we'll see what they tell me in two weeks... Right after, I rushed to campus for the test review. I haven't been motivated to study for my final tomorrow, so I figured attending the TA's review would help. Then I left a bit early to head over to the MFT Q&A session at the Taylor building. I studied for a bit that evening.

Wednesday
I left from work a bit early to give myself some more time to finish studying. I felt ready. I was also just dreading it. But I finally went and took my final. I was unsure about some, but I just needed a B. Well, miraculously I ended with a 95%. So yeah, that was a blessing! Afterwards, I went ice skating with Lexy. She was kind of afraid to skate, since she fell and hurt herself last time, but I think she enjoys going. That evening, I helped her roommate, Amy, to move her stuff to a new apartment!

Thursday
During work this morning, I found a card in the trash that had some free lunches at the Cannon Center still on it. It belonged to another Volleyball player. I asked the secretary if I could use it, and she said, "Sure! I would, if I were you!" So I got a free lunch at the Cannon Center! Unfortunately, they didn't have many options for me, so besides some fruit and gluten-free desserts, the only thing I could eat was a hamburger patty. Plain. Well, I did put some ketchup on it. That evening, I had a date from a guy I met on Mutual. We went slacklining, which was super hard, but I was slowly getting the hand of it. It's similar to walking on a tightrope (not that I've ever done that), but the line is flat and slack (so it bounces and wobbles a ton when you walk on it).

Friday
After work, I ate a bit of breakfast. When I went down to the Cannon Center for lunch, I was told that my card had expired. Noooo! So sad, but also it's fine because it wasn't actually mine to begin with and I already received one free meal. But then I didn't know what to eat, so I went home and researched recipes to print off to make my very own cook book, once and for all. Hopefully I can get into a better habit of cooking for myself! I went ice skating that afternoon and truly feel that I am slowly improving! I had Whitney and her roommate, Megan-Jean, over for dinner. I made Tex Mex Chicken and Zucchini. It was alright (not as good as I was hoping) but I don't know if I cooked the chicken long enough... oopsies.

Saturday
I slept in, but then woke up and got ready to attend the temple. While I was sitting in the endowment room, I thought to myself, "How is me being here helping me to become a better person? What do I need to learn?" I am trying to develop that attitude about everything I do, because I know that more importantly than doing is becoming. I'm not sure if I got anything new and revelatory out of it, but I'm grateful that I am at least becoming more conscious. I took it super easy the rest of the day because I didn't feel like doing anything. I'm so burnt out from attending school for 7 months straight, not giving myself a real summer break. With Fall semester starting in two weeks, I hope that if I do nothing and am super lazy, then I will get sick of doing nothing and will be motivated to go hard this Fall semester!

Sunday
I awoke around 5am feeling awful. I went to the kitchen to get water and take some medicine, and I almost blacked out! I sat on the kitchen chair for approximately 15 minutes, waiting to see if the medicine had helped, then went back to bed. I got ready for church and really enjoyed sacrament meeting today. I felt God speaking to me and guiding me during the talks, and I even felt like the hymns were picked out just for me. I'm grateful to renew my covenants and have a fresh start every week. I really needed that today. Then I taught Sunday School. I didn't feel that it was my best ever, but I still received some compliments and know the Spirit is the real teacher anyway, as long as I try my best. Plus, you got to cut yourself a bit of slack whenever you aren't feeling very good. I was invited to attend someone else's Come, Follow Me study group in the afternoon, and it was different that what I was used to, mostly because I felt a bit uncomfortable from not knowing everyone super well.

One scripture that really stuck out to me this week is found in Romans 13:8-10.

“Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

“For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

"Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”

I took this to meant that if I had perfect love, I would not break any other commandment. I would have no desire to steal, kill, or lie if I perfectly loved others. I would take better care of my body if I perfectly loved myself. Thus, if there is a commandment we are breaking, we need to figure out how it relates to the principle of love and work on that aspect of love. If we pray for charity and love in the specific aspect in which we are failing, God will help us overcome that weakness by growing our ability to love. 

Much love,

Emily Burnham