Swan Lake and Basketball

20 January - 26 January 2020

Hello my friends! This week was another emotional rollercoaster of me going out of my comfort zone to talk with a guy I think is pretty cute (when old me would just ignore him because things are simpler that way, haha). I'm trying to work on being friends with guys that I see potential for a relationship with, and it is literally the worst. The Lord knows I have a whole lot of growing to do in this area, but at least He is by my side to help me through it. I'm grateful for the encouraging friends I have in my life. And for the Spirit to help me recognize when the discouraging thoughts I am having about myself are coming from Satan, not God.

Monday
No school today! I babysat for the Nixon family for about four hours. The kids are super cute and fun. I stayed a bit longer to pick up the place then went home to work on homework.

Tuesday
Institute was good. I kind of don't like going, but I know it's the right thing to do. But I actually learned some new insights and later in the week would connect things we'd talked about to my personal scripture study of the Book of Mormon. One cool thing we discussed was how different Moroni and Joseph were. One was a sober child, the other jovial in nature, and yet the Lord put them together to learn and grow from each other.

Wednesday
I had an appointment with Dr. Hershey today, and my dairy allergy cure did not hold. We found out that my lactase aren't working. I also tested allergic for peanuts and soy, so he treated those. And apparently some type of lettuce also irritates my body, but I'm not sure which specifically. Honestly though, I felt so invigorated after because I feel like I have more control over my allergies by simply knowing what is wrong with me, knowing exactly what will cause discomfort or pain when I eat it. It was a glorious day.

Thursday
I held office hours today for my TA job. Nothing too exciting. Oh, but that evening I went and saw Swan Lake! I'd never seen a ballet performance live. One of the girls from our ward was in it and we went to support her. She did amazing! Wow, they are so flexible!

Friday
I had a spontaneous job interview with Erin for a new position opening up to be a BYU Online peer mentor! I really could use the extra money. I also spent time coding videos today in the Taylor building and got ticketed... yikes. I don't have a permit to park there (you don't need one after 4pm). I've had so many financial expenses this month and really feel that God is teaching me a lesson. I'm learning to roll with the punches. We won our intermural basketball game... by default because only three girls from the other team showed up. We just decided to do a scrimmage, so for the first half, I played with my team in blue, and for the second half, I was switched over to the white team.

Saturday

I went to the temple and also filmed Whitney's video about the power of the Book of Mormon. That evening, I got invited over to someone in the ward's apartment for dinner. There was a large group of us getting together to feed the missionaries. And when I arrived, guess what I discovered? One of the sister missionaries was Sister Speelman! She taught me in the MTC last semester! Now she's out in the field serving in my area! It was so cool to chat and catch up.

Sunday

Busy as always! Come, Follow Me had a great turnout today! The Burton boys came, as well as a new guy in the ward, Scott. I hope people like it and keep coming! But it was good. Then we had reconnect. Afterwards, Whitney helped me with a film for my YouTube channel (it's gonna be great; can't wait for y'all to see it). Then I worked on some paintings, went to ward prayer, ward choir, a game night, met up with the sister missionaries to give them some cut-outs to teach the first two lessons, then went home to Katie's surprise birthday party! So crazy busy.

This is what I have learned recently: just when life is becoming comfortable and you think you're on top, God likes to pull the carpet out from under your feet. There are always new areas we need growth in, and it's always uncomfortable. I feel a bit like a fish out of water juggling these new challenges and insecurities I'm facing, but I am also confident that the Lord can help me through.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Stickers, Shin-dig, and Stomach Ache

13 January - 19 January 2020

I sure do love using alliteration in my titles! This was a good week. I'm better adjusted to my new schedule than last week, so it was slightly less overwhelming. I had many tender mercies, probably a lot that I don't even recognize. The Lord truly is blessing me, and I am so happy. I also have moments of doubt, weakness, and discouragement. But I am continually studying the scriptures and finding joy as I focus on my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Monday
I held office hours and did some grading before I had to leave to go to my 4pm class in the Taylor building. We will only be meeting about once a month and coding videos for validation. We had FHE that evening, where we played some games at another apartment.

Tuesday
I loved my ice skating class today! We worked on edge work, and I did so much better. During our practice session together, Cole decided he wanted to cover his face in stickers... haha. At least he gave me one as well, so I think that means we're friends (despite him not smiling, haha).

Wednesday
It was good to hear from my parents today. The other highlight of my day was that a cute boy said hi to me, so that's kind of funny. I went in early to attend a TA review for my Behavioral Neurobiology course, which was not very helpful because it was so fast and nothing stuck in my brain. But it was okay. I also picked up a camera so I can do some filming tomorrow! I'm hoping to find more people with diverse experiences to help reach a wider range of people. We had our first basketball intramural game tonight. My team is actually really good! We won the game 49 to 23 points (I made 6 points). I was so riled up afterwards that I had a hard time getting to sleep, though, since the game started at 9:15 and went for an hour!

Thursday
Yikes, my Behavioral Neurobiology class is hard! I promise I did study for the quiz (I even went to the TA review) but my brain was just not soaking up the information. I met up with Eli, a guy I knew from the MTC, to film him talking about his experience teaching new missionaries. He gave some awesome advice, and he also bore his testimony in Japanese for me! The readings today for my Marriage Enhancement class were super interesting today. Our individual characteristics can be helpful for marriage or hinder a healthy marriage. After my class, I drove over to a new family to babysit. The mom was super pretty and she had five kids! The youngest was already put down. The others were so excited to meet someone new that they did not want to go to bed. We had some fun though!

Friday
In case you wondered what I spent three hours of my life on this afternoon, I included a picture of what coding in the Taylor Building lab looks like... It's super fascinating to watch a bunch of different couples in therapy, to see how the therapist interacts with them. I am most amazed by how little is covered in each session, because talking takes up time! There is always a lot to be said about one little topic. Change takes time. It's not easy. That evening, I went to Whitney's shin-dig. She invited loads of people from the ward. I talked with a few people. Jake Danneman came, so it was fun to be able to talk with him.

Saturday
I babysat for Julia for three hours today. I had a fun time with her two little boys, though they sure wore me out! We did some water-color painting and played with a lot of puzzles. Little Jack sneezed right into my face/hair. It's a good thing he is super adorable ;). That evening, I did some homework and readings, but had to give up after a while because my stomach hurt SO SO bad after dinner. I laid in my bed from 6:30 to 9pm, breathing through the pain as I tried to be productive, curled up on my bed in my dark room. Eventually, I just went to sleep.

Sunday
I truly have been getting a lot of positive feedback about my YouTube channel that I started, so I shouldn't feel so depressed and discouraged. Just like Nephi, I want to tell myself to no longer droop in sin and sorrow, but to rise up and remember the goodness of God. Because truly, I am so so blessed. Despite my stomach being in pain, I enjoyed church and endured through the last bit of second hour. We had a great discussion in Come, Follow Me. We went to Reconnect and I gave the spiritual thought at the end. It was good! A really good day, even though I felt awful :) Honestly, after recapping my day to my roommate, she was shocked. She said she was so sorry I'd had such a terrible and emotionally exhausting day. But I'm alright. Truly, all things are made right through the Savior Jesus Christ. If not in the moment, then later. It just takes some hope and patience as you let the Lord reveal His work in His timing.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Swimming in the Snow

6 January - 12 January 2020

Howdy to my friends and family! First week of classes just happened. I'm pretty pumped for this new semester. I'm taking some fun classes (ice skating, badminton), I'm in two research labs, and I'm gonna be learning a lot about marriage and the brain! The biggest miracle happened this week. The bill for my hospital trip two months ago finally arrived, and initially my insurance was only covering about half of it, so I was going to be paying a large chunk of money (two weeks worth of my paycheck), but I found out my insurance paid an additional large chunk of money, so I was left paying only $90!!! What a huge miracle.

Monday
I went to my healthy sexuality class at noon, which is my first class of the day. That's super nice. My teacher seems super awesome and has done amazing and inspirational things with her life. This is a class everyone should take at BYU, and I am saying that after only one class period because there are so many myths about sexuality that Satan spreads and that so many members fall susceptible to. Additionally, every parent could use some help with knowing the most appropriate and effective way to teach their kids about sex, because it's often super awkward for both the parent and child!

Tuesday
My 8am badminton class started today. I got there with a few minutes to spare! I thought I was okay at badminton, but I have a lot to learn! My neuroscience class was intimidating at first, but after class today, I am pretty excited for it. My teacher seems very fun and engaging. He is passionate about the subject and makes learning fun. I had my ice skating class that afternoon. I am definitely at the bottom of the totem pole in that class. So many classmates are amazing skaters! It is intermediate, after all, so I shouldn't be surprised. My work will be cut out for me, but I'm excited. The only down side is that skating makes the bunion problem in my feet even worse, but that's just something I'll have to deal with to keep enjoying something I love. Afterwards, I drove down to meet Julia and her kids. I'm helping her two oldest with practicing piano. She is paying me super well! I went to a TA meeting at 6pm and then the institute kick-off at 7:30pm.

Wednesday
Wow, my research class I'm in for the development of religiosity in youth is very intimidating! We are being thrown straight into the research and will be writing a research paper and making a poster to present at Utah State and then at a conference come April!

Thursday
In my Marriage Enhancement class this evening, over half the class raised their hands to indicate that they were married or engaged. A couple is teaching the class, Brother and Sister Hill, and I took family finance from Brother Hill three years ago. After class, I said "hi" to him and said he probably didn't remember me from his class all those years ago. He said he remembered my face and then asked if I was attending this class with my husband. When I said "no, I'm single," he responded, "oh, we need to get a group of singles together!" It was funny because he said it in a tone of "You're single? We need to fix this!" Haha, my time is coming.

Friday
I went to the temple this morning. Later that evening, I met up with my former mission companion, Ali Palmer, to go to dinner before attending Becca Harper's (formally Sister Strong) wedding reception. It's hard to believe she is already married!

Saturday
I went to the library and then shopping. I also went in to work for a few hours, then later that evening I went to babysit for Julia (I help her kids with practicing piano). It was actually a lot of fun to play with and be around kids! Her two youngest are absolutely adorable and took a quick liking to me. When I first arrived, they were outside in their swim suits... and it was snowing. I was so confused but then realized they have a hot tub outside. How fun is that, swimming in a hot tub while it's snowing?! By the time the parents arrived home, a lot of snow had fallen, completely covering my car! The husband was nice enough to drive my car down the steep hill, teaching me some tricks for driving in the snow.

Sunday
I woke up at 6:30am, through on some clothes, and went down to the church to help shovel snow. Four other people came to help. It wasn't all that bad. I finished preparing for my Sunday School lesson, then off to church I went! Church was good, except I felt so nervous about teaching that my stomach was churning the whole time. I don't even know why I was worrying because everything turned out good. A lot of people said they enjoyed my lesson. I had a lot of people participate. It was great! Andrew and John Burton came to Come, Follow Me this week, and hopefully they enjoyed it enough to come back next week. Guess we'll see... I met with the Bishop afterwards because I want to start working at the temple! I think that will be a huge blessing in my life and help me to gain a greater testimony of the temple. Then I went to Reconnect and ended staying later than usual, just talking with Sister Osborn. Their home feels so cozy and comfortable. I love attending each week. Y'all better believe I took a fat nap afterwards because I was still tired from not getting 8 hours of sleep :). And the devotional by the Christofferson's was good. All in all, a great Sabbath day!

Be still and know God. I truly believe that we come to know God in the stillness of life. Praying. Studying scriptures. Attending the temple. Pondering. Reflecting. Even dreaming at times. God made our bodies, and it isn't a coincidence that He made it so we have to sleep for a third of our life. Just as we need to physically be still in order for our brain to heal, store memories, and recover, we also need to be still spiritually in order to come to know God and have our hearts softened. Make time this week to be still and know God.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Happy New Year!

30 December 2019 - 5 December 2020

What a marvelous break! It was so fun to be home and see my family every day! I ate the most delicious food, binge-watched Harry Potter and tons of other movies, and did fun crafts and games with my family. I truly have the best family and love them so so much!

Monday
Movie watching and games. Also, we did have family home evening!

Tuesday
For New Year's Eve, dad took us all out to dinner at Garcias! Yum yum. Also, mom paid for Sean and me and Val to go to Fat Cats for a combined YSA stake activity. Our cousin Andrew also came! It was actually a really fun night. They had unlimited bowling, mini-golfing, movie-watching, and arcade games. Sean picked to go watch the new Star Wars movie, but Val and Andrew went with me to see Spies in Disguise. I absolutely loved it! Even Valerie, who was a bit skeptical about watching it because it was a cartoon, enjoyed it. Afterwards, we spent a lot of time playing some really fun arcade games. I loved the one where you knock the clowns down with a rubber ball. And I toasted Andrew in the basketball one. :)

Wednesday
We didn't actually do much for New Years day, but we did get to talk to Aaron. Also, Lucy, Val and I made bath bombs! It was tricky, but the second time I did it, it turned out a lot better. I also made an ice skating stocking! It only took me 4.5 hours... :)

Thursday
My mother and I went down to the MVD to get new driver licenses. After arriving, we found out their systems were down, so we just headed home. I filmed some videos for my YouTube channel. Grandpa even helped me with one of them! I hope that one turns out good!! I also went with Valerie and Lucy to Deseret Book, and in return, Valerie agreed to do a video for my channel! She is going to talk about tips to get along with your companion.

Friday
Mom and I drove down to the MVD in Apache Junction, the only one that was open, and waited around to get our new license. Mom was a little frustrated after we got home when she realized that they had put down wrong information on hers, like that she still needed to drive with glasses. I filmed Valerie's video, and then grandpa took all three of us girls out to dinner with him at Red Robbin, where we had yummy burgers and bottomless fries! Wowza, I ate so many fries!! Then we stopped by Katelin Whaley's wedding reception, and I got to say "hi" to Elizabeth again after all these years. I also looked through my baby book that mom made me. She sure is funny!

Saturday
I packed up, washed the bedding, did some cleaning, and ate breakfast. With the help of mom, everything was jammed compactly into my duffle bag and off we were to the airport. For some reason, I thought my flight left at 12pm, so I was there over two and a half hours before the plane took off. Oh well. Miranda picked me up from the airport and took me home. Then my dream vacation was over. Just like that. But this will be a great semester. I went shopping for food and then attended an evening temple session (I was so exhausted though so I had to focus hard on not falling asleep).

Sunday
We have a couple of new people in our ward, and they all seem really awesome! And the two oldest Burton boys from back home are in our ward, so that's exciting! I felt so loved at church with everyone hugging me and asking about my break. After church, I held a Come, Follow Me study session at my place, and then we left for Reconnect. I gave Isaac his late Christmas gift, and he loved it! It was a good (but also tiring) Sunday!

I have a great feeling about this new year. I'm going to meet so many amazing people, have amazing experiences, and learn so much from my classes. I know the Lord lives and loves us. This is the last days and we must fight hard to find joy and peace, to remain strong and righteous.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Holly Jolly Christmas

23 December - 29 December 2019

I hope y'all had a happy Christmas! Lucy and I spent a lot of time binge watching Harry Potter and speaking in British accents this week. It's been nice being home because the weather is much warmer than it would be in Utah, I always have delicious food on hand, and I get to rest from school. The only downside is that I caught a cold, so I've been a bit sick this past week. We also watched a lot of movies this week, including the new Star Wars (which Lucy was crying about having to go see but then loved it and is now binge watching all the Star Wars) and Unitards (which mom and Lucy are obsessed with for some strange reason).

Wednesday - Christmas Day
I got woken up by an incoming video call from Aaron at 6:30am! Apparently, I was the only one who had my phone on and could hear him calling in. It was fun to go over and open presents with Aaron able to watch us. It was quite a magical morning. Everyone appreciated the gifts I got for them, and I got way more presents than I bargained for! I thought I was getting one or two, but I ended up with at least six! The real magic trick will be figuring out how to fit it all in my bag when I fly home! Sean and Lucy both received a magic kit box that they have been playing with ever since. We also had the most delicious lunch because my dad cooked a turkey and ham in the family's new smoker. We had the missionaries over. Soon afterwards, we all went over to grandma and grandpa Burnham's home to visit with all of the family there.

On Friday, I was able to babysit the Tilley's grandchildren. There were 11 of them, with the oldest being nine. I only had to change a couple of poopy diapers. They were really good, as always. I love babysitting all of them because they are such loving and cute kids and it helps me realize the kind of family I want to have in the future.

Saturday morning, Symantha showed up to visit. I painted her a cat on a tree as a present from me, and Lucy decided she wanted to paint something as well, so she quickly threw together a desert landscape on a mini canvas in roughly 20 minutes. I went to the temple afterwards, and I got to see Valerie for a split second in the initiatory room.

I went to church with Valerie and felt a recommitment in my study of the Book of Mormon. In Sunday school, we read over President Nelson's talk from Oct 2017 about the Book of Mormon, and what stood out to me was that in the promise he made, he said "daily immerse." That reminded me of how we are baptized by immersion, not by sprinkling water over ourselves. It caused me to reflect over the amount of effort I was making and how deep my studies really were. I want to be fully in. I have felt the difference between reading and studying the Book of Mormon. I have felt pure joy and the presence of the Spirit when my time reading the Book of Mormon is actual studying. There truly is power within the Book of Mormon that will fill us up with righteous desire and power. That evening, we went to support Zeb as he got his eagle. We were the only family on the Burnham side (besides gramps and grams) to show up to support them.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Finals and Feasting

16 December - 22 December 2019

Hola mi amigos! What an eventful week! Finals ended and I got to fly home on a plane to Arizona. But it was crazy before all that went down!

Monday
This morning I went to Dr. Hershey in Orem to get treated for my egg allergy. I'm really hoping these treatments work (or at least help me feel better). Then I went to lunch with some friends from my Art Education class in the Cannon Center. It was fun to have something exciting to do that day and to get to know them a bit better. Then I left to go study. I was at the library for a couple of hours, studying for my Psychology of Religion final. We basically just have to write three essays within three hours, all from memory. I went home and took a nap because I was so exhausted. Then I studied some more up until that evening when our ward got together for a "finals feast."

Tuesday
I had my second appointment with Dr. Hershey to get rid of my dairy allergy. Then I spent more hours studying for my final. My stomach wasn't feeling well after whatever I ate yesterday, which is a bit frustrating because I'm trying so hard to help my body. Ugh. Anyways, it was my last day working at the MTC, and I brought a camera and took pictures around MTC campus. I'll miss having access to that beautiful building with the murals and numberless missionaries! And I'll miss all of my awesome coworkers and friends I've made there.

Wednesday
I studied in the morning, reviewing all my notes and writing down things on a whiteboard from memory, which really helped. Isaac came over to get some videos to make me a commercial-type video for my channel, The Missionary Approach. I really hope that the channel I started truly will help people! Then... I took my final. Last one! Hooray! I have no clue how I did, but I remembered everything I studied and was able write somewhat coherently. I did my best, so that'll have to be sufficient. I spent time editing videos for my channel. Katie and Kayla got me a cut Christmas present: an extra long spoon that says "My Peanut Butter Spoon."

Thursday
I finished Miranda's painting! I'm happy with how it turned out, even though it is not perfect (can you tell what is missing?). She really loved it. Miranda gave me an awesome present in return, some lotion and pillow spray! I made up a yummy lunch and then my neighbor Mira drove me to the Provo airport. The flight was awful on my poor ear. It has trouble popping, I guess, so it builds up pressure with the elevation change and hurts really bad. It was good to see all of my fam again! And to have a mom-cooked meal :) :) :)!!! I ate at least four yummy tacos and my stomach almost died (from happiness and overindulgence). Grandpa Jim was kind enough to let me stay over there in his extra guest room, so I don't have to share with Lucy in the loft.

Friday
My ear was still hurting me and I had a headache all night long. My stomach was also hurting me. Ugh. It is the worst to be sickly on break, but I guess that is what breaks are made for... Hey, but I was actually able to ride on the motorized unicycle! Lucy has really enjoyed having me home, I believe. We have a lot of the same interests and hobbies (such as art) so it's fun for her.

Saturday
We had the most delicious dinner! The sister missionaries came over for dinner. Right after, we left to go to the temple because Kayla was going through to get her endowments! It was so nice getting to sit next to my mom in the session.

Sunday
We only had one hour of church today, and I walked there with Valerie and Lucy. I took a fat nap after lunch (leftovers from last night). By the time dinner rolled around, I wasn't hungry because I ate way too much for lunch. Basically, I'm just fat and lazy over here on break... though I have been teaching mom and Lucy some good exercises to do, so I'm not completely wasting away! That evening, we were a bit late meeting up to go on a ward missionary Christmas-caroling hayride, so we drove around for 20 minutes trying to find them! But we did, so we joined the ride. It was fun, but then went on so lonnngggg....

Something that I learned from my studies this week is how much I truly appreciate my Savior and God. I have their promise and reassurance that as I turn to Them, I can be uplifted and given strength beyond my own to bear the trials and hardships of life. However, Cain did not follow the covenant path, and after killing his brother and receiving the consequence, he said "my punishment is greater than I can bear" (Moses 5:38). When we don't accept Jesus Christ and His Atonement, life is greater than we can bear. The next life will be too much to bear. I've been blessed to not have to feel that for an extended amount of time because I always have the Savior there to hastily lift the crushing weight of my burden when I humble myself and turn to him. Turning to Him is repenting. And that's why I love repentance and change and humility--because I can't do this life thing alone. I need my Savior.
I hope y'all have a merry Christmas!

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Trip to St. George

9 December - 15 December 2019

It's that time of the year! ...when you finish your last week of classes and have impending finals looming over your head. I'm actually very blessed this semester because I only have two finals, and one of them is an open-notes, take-home final. The other one? I actually need to study a ton for...

Anyways, on to my week! I performed my song on Monday in front of my music class. Because I had just gotten over being sick, I wasn't as confident in hitting the high notes. But I did well. Also, I had missed my first class that morning because I had a research paper worth 21% of my grade that I needed to finish up before class. As luck would have it, I finished it with only 15 minutes to spare, and my printer ran out of ink when I tried to print it, and I couldn't submit it online. Then I had to rush off to class (without having time to eat lunch) and present on my paper (that I didn't have). But I wasn't too stressed about it because my teacher is pretty understanding, and it all worked out.

Work on Tuesday was awesome! My shift was participating in "Christmas Bootcamp" and so we had a fun training to attend in between our scheduled lessons. I had an amazing elder teach me. The Spirit was with him so powerfully and he was so humble and caring. The Spirit that companionship brought into the room made me want to meet with them again (even though I'm already a member).

Wednesday was good but also weird. I only had two classes in the morning, and in between them, I was able to go to the Wilk to an activity where you can write "thank you" notes to your teachers. Afterwards, I headed to the library to work on videos for my YouTube channel. As I walked out of the library, I ran into Kjetil, a friend from last semester. But it was so awkward because he looked so confused and startled to see me... but then I found out why. He had been writing me an email and was just about to send it when I walked up and said "hi." I would've been freaked out too. The email gave me a lot of closure because I felt bad about being his friend but then not wanting anything more and breaking things off. It made me feel like I'd used him, because I did learn a lot, but then I learned that he learned a lot from me too that helped him a lot this past semester. It made me realize how good God is because He places people in your life to learn from and grow so that you can overcome trials and challenges and be the person you need to be for future relationships.

Thursday. Yikes. Ugh. So after class, I went home and did some filming for my channel. Then I ate lunch and ran some quick errands before heading on the road to St. George for a doctor's appointment to get my food allergies cured! There was an extremely strong wind blowing against my car that made my car unable to accelerate on the freeway, which scared me (at the moment, I didn't know what was causing my car to not accelerate, and last time that happened, I blew my engine). So I pulled off at the next exit on to the side of the road. A friendly man came to help and gave me his number, saying to call if I get stranded and offering to take me to a mechanic shop. What a Christlike man. As I was getting back on the freeway, I was almost hit by a long truck/trailer that turned too narrowly, and I had to emergency back up my car! Then I was running behind schedule and had to speed most of the way there... it was a miserable 4 hours. I made it to the appointment, though, and it was super weird but cool. The treatment method is NAET. I am still a bit skeptical, but I'm giving it a try. After getting treated, the doctor taped a vial of gluten/grains to my arm that I had to keep there for 24 hours. After the appointment, I drove over to the Lyles home. It was so good to see them again! They took me out to dinner at a Thai place, Benja's. Then we went back to their home and visited, looking through pictures of their mission. I then drove over to my dad's cousin's family's house (the Greers) to stay the night. It was fun to meet their two youngest kids, Brinley and Porter. They were super friendly and welcoming of me.

Friday was both good and bad. Good: I checked out the St. George temple. Though it was closed for construction, I was able to go inside the visitor's center and study scriptures and look around. Bad: I didn't have any food to eat, so I went shopping around 10:30am and ate while I started the long drive back to Utah. I was super exhausted, didn't eat well, and when I got home, we still had cleaning checks that night, and I felt nauseous and sick, but I went to the library for 4 hours, working on editing videos for my channel and then forgot to eat until 9:30pm (by which time my stomach was so tight with hunger).

Saturday. I got to sleep in, and then I worked on my take-home final. Work at the MTC was fun. We had a Christmas party, so everyone brought food. I had my last scheduled lessons ever. Bittersweet. After work, I finished up on my final (almost, just a couple of questions I don't know the answer to) and then that night I spent time with Whitney. We had some good conversations.

I taught Sunday school today, and though I wasn't feeling the Spirit or super guided and directed on what to do, I did my best, prayed hard, and went with it. I received many compliments. But wow, did I feel so down in the dumps today! I think Satan is working hard to attack me because of the good I'm trying to do. I felt bad about my lesson, about my YouTube channel, about myself. Ugh. But my mom gave me a good pep talk and reminded me to serve others when I feel that way, so I wrote 10 Christmas cards to people on my mission. I did feel better after that! Then I went to a stake Christmas fireside and listened to a lot of musical numbers. God is constantly needing to remind us of things through other people. That we are good enough and He is pleased with us. If every good thing is from God, then that someone who feels inspired to tell you "good job" on your talk is like God telling you "good job."

Love,
Emily Burnham