Eggs for Days

 23 January 2023 - 29 January 2023

Monday: worked out at the gym and had my two-hour class. I really enjoy going to the gym every morning with my mom and working out my body. Plus, we have some really good conversations sometimes. Class was very helpful because I was able to ask about a client I was struggling to know how to help, and then we watched one of the sessions I had taped and went over how I was doing. Basically, we came to the conclusion that interns are ALWAYS way too hard on themselves, so he paused the video frequently and had me point out stuff that I did well. I realized that while there are a million ways to do therapy, I'm not doing it "wrong." You can always find things you could have done differently, but that doesn't mean it would be more right or better. Besides, even if you don't do it the most efficient way, you're still doing good, and that's all that matters. The rest will come with time and experience. Monday evening, I saw my first child client. He's had a rough family history, and it took a little bit of time to gain his trust and have him open up, but I think we got there. I often feel like I don't know what I am doing, but I do know how to trust in the Lord. So that was a really cool experience, and I hope the Lord continues to bless me with clients! After I finished with my client, I drove home and helped set up for the FHE activity we were having in our yard. I was SO cold outside! But it turned out to be a lot of fun. My mom went ALL out, of course, making egg-drop soup and egg rolls. (We had SO much soup left over. SOOO much). We had them split into teams and create contraptions to save their egg from the fall, then we had one person from each team go onto the scissor lift to drop their egg. Most eggs survived! Then for fun, my mom let anyone who wanted to ride go up and throw an egg. So of course I did. And the most ironic thing was that some people dropped eggs from the scissor lift that landed on the grass and didn't even break! And one guy threw an egg up and it landed on our roof. So our house got egged... lols. I was still feeling a bit tired and sick that day, but I was blessed to be able to function and do well.

On Tuesday, I went in for my job at KM Signs and got officially hired. I will make $18 while getting trained, and then be bumped up to $20 an hour. I am really enjoying it there so far, and I'm going to miss having Savannah there. I'm being trained to replace her, but she's been fun to talk with and have around. I'm also already beginning to take a lot of pride in the work we are doing. We make these little signs on the computer that print into these giant signs in real life!

I had a lot of homework to do on Wednesday, and I was able to go to my internship site to do most of it. I had a dentist appointment Wed morning that went by so quick because I guess I've been taking really good care of my teeth! :D When I got to my internship site, I saw that I got a Clear Counseling jacket! And name plaque on the door! So I'm officially official now! 

Again on Thursday, I went to my job. I'm feeling a lot more confident in working with Illustrator and creating the signs and designs they need. I kind of felt bad because I haven't been going to all the activities I could have this week, like Ministering Night on Wednesday or Institute on Thursday. But I've felt SO exhausted and have just stayed home. But honestly, I'm not feeling too guilty because I recognize that I am starting out with a new and intense schedule that requires a lot from me, so I am giving myself some grace and time to adjust.

On Friday, I did initiatories and some chores before heading over for my internship. I had my supervision meeting with Michele and then my second appointment with a client who was one of my very first ones (sorry I have to sound super vague for confidentiality purposes...). I think it went pretty good! I got some feedback that it was helpful, and we are scheduled to meet again next Friday. That evening, I attended a devotional where Elder Renlund came and spoke in person. I kind of felt bad that I was just SO tired and almost fell asleep. But again, I am giving myself a lot of grace, especially as I am beginning to spend 8 hours a week seeing clients and helping them improve their mental health. It is very draining and it's okay if I'm not 100% all the time. I've even been so tired that I haven't been watching my favorite K-drama! Granted, a huge reason for that is because the second season hasn't been dubbed in English, so I'd have to read the subtitles, and my eyes and brain are just too tired for that right now. Saturday was the most exhausting day yet. I met with six clients at Touch Angels and was gone from home from 8:30am to 5:30pm. It took an hour to figure everything out (wifi, space heater, toilet paper and password for the bathroom, etc). Oh well. I survived! I went home and mom had bought me a GF pizza for dinner. I finished writing up some client notes and then went to the Hughes house to sleep over. Their parents are in HI for the week and asked me to spend the nights to make sure they are getting to bed and then getting up in the morning and going to school. I'll also be driving Hudson to school. I'll be making some good money, which is honestly a huge blessing since money has been tight for me lately. I'm so glad for the work I have been receiving and the clients I've been getting.

On Sunday, I looked SO cute. I wore my new red shoes with a red skirt and red lipstick and had a cute braid with curls. I felt absolutely adorable. I went to ward choir (only girls showed up!!) and then church. We had Mexican food for dinner and my mom made me a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting and fresh raspberries to put on top for dessert, just as I requested. So, it was the first day in the year that I actually ate sugar! Even though it wasn't my actual birthday, we had to celebrate our birthdays early because my mom is getting surgery on my birthday and won't be able to do anything for us. But that's okay. I'm old enough to where I don't need the whole entire day to be extra special and all about me being pampered. I can do the things I need to do and take joy in treating myself in simple ways. Then I went back to the Hughes that evening and here I am, writing in my blog! So that's pretty much it!

Bonus pic of mom holding Gracelyn when she babysat her this week:

Much love, 

Emily Burnham

Massage Madness

 16 January - 22 January 2023

This past week was pretty exhausting. Let me tell you a crazy story. So, last Monday I cash in on one of my massage coupons that I got from Christmas. I'd set the appointment in the afternoon, and I listened to Christmas tunes on the drive over to get me in the mood. I show up and get a 50 minute full body massage. I was not expecting FULL body, but that's what I got. Most of it was fine, some of it felt really good, and some of it wasn't the most comfortable, but I endured because I was thinking, "this is good for my body, getting all the knots and toxins out." Well, when I got home, I looked half-lidded and sleepy, so I went to take a nap, which ended up being two hours. Then, when I got up, I ate some food and noticed that my eyes were a bit blurry. It was hard to see. Then my head started to progressively get worse with aching and throbbing, especially in some areas the massage lady had rubbed hard on. I took some medicine to help because I was complaining to my parents. Then it got even worse, and I was just wishing I could die. As I lay in bed, my brain felt a bit like it was on fire. It throbbed. My right arm started to feel numb. Then after a couple of hours, I threw up. Then a few hours after that, I threw up some more. It was awful. The hours passed by so slowly. A handful of minutes felt like an hour. But I made it through and finally fell asleep around 2am (just to wake up at 3am to go potty, since I'd been drinking SO much water to help flush my system out). Well, I was pretty exhausted on Tuesday, but I got going with the day, feeling slightly better, though just very weak and delicate. Like if I shook my head too hard, it would start aching again. I could barely eat anything for breakfast. Just three bites of oatmeal. I went over to Mesa to conduct 4 biopsychosocial assessments with my new clients. I only brought an apple to eat as a break, so after I was done, I took myself to Garcias (just down the street) for dinner and ate SO fast! I was so hungry. The waitress was so funny because she kept calling me "babe." Like, "Everything alright, babe? You good, babe?" I was glad I got to take it easy that night and on Wednesday. I went to the gym Wednesday but then just felt pretty wiped out. Fortunately, I didn't have to go back to the Mesa office, so I could rest and continue to recover. I attended a girls' night at Charly's house and was glad I felt comfortable enough with all of my friends to be my sluggish and tired self. It was pretty fun, even though I felt so so tired.

Thursday, I still felt a bit weak but was also doing better. I went to the gym, then the temple, and then to my job interview with KM signs as their new Adobe Illustrator designer. I think it went great because they invited me back to secure the details next Tuesday. This week, I also started watching a TV show called Alchemy of Souls and am absolutely in love with it. It is a K-drama but has English dubbed over it, and it is absolutely fantastic. So wholesome in content and humor, and such a modest portrayal of relationships and romance than a lot of crappy shows these days. Thursday night, I was invited last minute to go with Jasen and his family to dinner and then the ASU basketball game. It was very enjoyable, and it's cool being able to observe another family interact with and tease each other. 

On Friday, I had my supervision meeting with Michele and then met with my first client at Clear Counseling! Michele sat in on it, but while I had felt nervous days previous, I wasn't even nervous (mostly because I was just tired, haha). I just took a calming breath and put myself in the moment, not focusing on things that bothered me or self-doubts. I think it went pretty well, though I am interested in what feedback Michele will have for me. That evening, I attended a 25+ age activity (since I'm so close to turning 25). It was alright, but I left early with Amber because Valerie wanted to stay longer and I was feeling DEAD tired. Saturday morning, I drove to San Tan Valley to the group home and was there for 8 hours! I met with five clients, and some seem ready to grow and progress while others do not. I was able to record two of my sessions for my supervisors to observe. It was interesting to have a taste of such different clients, and I'm already learning a lot about my stamina and what I will be able to take on. I had to set some boundaries with the number of clients I will be seeing from the group home because they wanted me to see 10 in a day! Um... no. Just no. One of the clients picked me a bag of lemons to take home, which my mom made into lemon bars the next day. When I got home, I was exhausted, but I went with my family to play pickleball. I did okay the first game with three strangers, but then I went downhill from there. By the end of the night, my vision was getting blurry again and my head was hurting, but I was naughty and stayed up late watching Alchemy of Souls anyways... I was also super cold and had a hard time getting warm. On Sunday, I felt terrible. So tired. I felt both cold and clammy and also hot. I think I am coming down sick. Blah. But I went to church anyway because I had to teach Relief Society, which went okay. It wasn't off to the best start and there were a lot of side conversations and the spirit wasn't really strong, but I called everyone out on talking during the lesson and it got more reverent and then we had a better discussion. But I was definitely feeling a bit in Zombie mode and losing my brain a bit. Then I had to stay after for a FHE group leader meeting, and then I went home and tried to nap. I had my CFM group over, and Valerie was a saint and led everyone. My mom made lemon bars and chocolate chip cookies, which everyone LOVED, and I left soon after it ended to go back to my house away from everyone. Some people left for stake choir and others stayed to play games, but I just wasn't feeling it. At least I had a good night's rest!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Me in my office at Clear Counseling

True Love

 9 January - 15 January 2023

Oh, what a week! Just so you'll know the contrast that happened in my life, let me say that I've been very anxious and insecure about friendships and relationships for as I can remember. I had the most enlightening experience Thursday evening during our Relief Society devotional by a life coach. She talked about how this message and belief that happiness comes from "the one" we end up with is so engrained in every aspect of our culture and beliefs, and how it is false and actually detrimental because it creates too much pressure on external people to make us happy. She said that truly, the only person responsible for our happiness is us, and we are the only people with us 24/7 from the moment we are born until the moment we die. We need to be kinder to ourselves, becoming a safe place for us to return home to after a crazy day out in the world. We need to check in with our inner child and make sure we are meeting her needs so that she does not search for fulfillment outside of ourselves. I've realized that I put too much pressure on my friends to prioritize me and treat me sooo good and want to hang out with me all the time because that is how I feel important and valued and worth something. However, that puts unrealistic pressure and expectations on them, and I should be the one telling myself how worth it and valuable I am. I don't need other people to celebrate or recognize my accomplishments for me to feel good. I am the one who can treat myself and take myself out on fun dates and spend time with myself because I'm worth it. I have to be the one to show others how to treat myself. I was so worried about missing out on some form of happiness that can only come from things I don't currently have, but I realized that is an illusion. True love isn't someone else who loves you completely, but rather is loving yourself completely. Someone else can't make you happy or complete you. You have all the tools inside of you to make yourself as happy as you can ever be (as you are One with Christ). You can see how pumped I am about this subject! Anywho, let's backtrack a little into the earlier parts of my week.

Monday was my first day of internship class with my Capella faculty advisor. It's two hours every Monday morning. I am excited about many of the people I have in my class! I then went out to Mesa to meet Eva, who runs the group home called Touch Angels. They teach life skills to homeless individuals with substance abuse problems. I will be helping out there, counseling and assessing clients. The majority of the clients are Native American and have been hooked on drugs since infancy or early childhood, and 90% have experienced sexual or physical abuse and trauma. I went back Tuesday afternoon to get put into their system and trained on how things go. Anyway, Val and I spent Monday afternoon with Mikylah and Cara, playing pickleball and going out to dinner with them. It was Mikylah's birthday, and she was having some friend drama and needed some loving friends in her life. Then we went to FHE, which was Bob Ross night! We have some real talent in our ward!

On Tuesday, I went ice skating with Jasen. He was definitely NOT as bad as he painted himself out to be (in both ice skating and painting, actually). I felt bad because he fell a handful of times and hurt his knee. He said he didn't have a blast, but he did feel like he improved. So... idk. I hope he had some sort of fun! I was on fire that day and felt more smooth on the ice and could do some tricks and stuff (but my spins were not feeling it that day). I was so grateful to my dad for coming down to get us a military discount so that it only cost ten dollars for the both of us instead of over twenty dollars. Some piece of exciting news is that with the scholarship I got, my tuition for this quarter was low enough that I was able to pay it without borrowing any more money from my parents! On Wednesday, I went down to the internship office and got settled into my new office and got some schoolwork done. My room does get a little chilly, but it'll be nice for when summer comes because it (hopefully) won't get too hot. I also officially booked my first client! I called a lady who had reached out a week ago to see if she was still interested (because she had never responded to Kendra, the office manager), so I gave her a call and she said that she found me from Psychology Today by typing in the zip code and reading through profiles. She said my profile really stood out to her and spoke to her, plus the intern rate was a bonus. She said she has great respect for interns because they are more thoughtful and attentive in her experience. I'm grateful I will get the opportunity to work with her! Wednesday night, I went to ministering night and had a fun time with Jasen and Raven as we tracked down someone in the ward to try and invite them to activities. They didn't end up being home, but we did listen to old songs from our childhood TV shows, which was super funny. Then walking back inside, Raven asked me on a date to get tacos that weekend, so we worked out those details. On Thursday morning, I went to the temple. Jasen also attended the 9am session. It was really good, and the funniest part was that after, when I went to the celestial room, I walked over to get a Book of Mormon from a side table, but noticed it said on the front that it was in Spanish. So I went to another side table and picked up the Book of Mormon and noted that it did not specify that it was Spanish. I went to sit down by Jasen and then opened the scriptures to read and kind of chuckled... because they were in Spanish!!! Jasen looked over at the scriptures and gave me a questioning look, and I said, "I can't read this." He looked again and realized it was all in Spanish, and he kind of chuckled and then jumped up to get me a BoM that was in English. The rest of the day, I worked on homework, and then I went to the life-changing RS devo. Seriously though, it brought together a lot of things I've been pondering lately and brought to mind what I need to work on to have less anxiety about dating and relationships.

Friday, I spent the morning doing some chores. We've had the honor of watching baby Gracelyn throughout the week, and mom and I took her shopping with us while Brie and Aaron worked. She screamed and cried on the entire way to the store, but once we were there, so was so content to be carried around and she loved just looking at everything. Then she fell asleep in mom's arms and slept all the way home. I went to my internship site and attended my weekly supervision meeting with Michele. Then I went to dinner with Raven. I think it was a positive experience because it sounded like he hasn't had a lot of positive experiences with dating, so I was grateful that I was able to put him at ease and hold a comfortable and fun and open conversation with him. Saturday morning, I interviewed a classmate about her sexual history for my Gender and Sexuality course, and I'm glad I got some positive feedback from her about putting her at ease and helping to connect dots and themes. I also went to the temple to do some initiatories, then after I went to play pickleball. Lucy tagged along. I lost all the games!!! We played against a father and son, then switched up the teams after that, and for some reason, no matter who was on my team, we lost! All five games! And I don't even think I was playing all that bad!!! But alas, I have a lot of room for improvement!

Sunday was really good! I actually found some job opportunities on Facebook when I went to post something in our ward page, so I was able to talk with a lady and pretty much have the job for sure, which is such a blessing. It'll work with my schedule and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to stay busy, make connections, and earn money to finish paying my way through grad school! Church was good! We had YSA called to the 2nd counselor of the bishopric, ward secretary, and executive clerk positions. Sam Semandeni is the new 2nd counselor, and it was awesome to see how humbled he was by the calling. They also got a new EQ presidency. We had linger longer after church, and Delanie asked if I could talk with her, so I stayed after chatting with her. Then that night, we had a delish dinner and CFM. I missed our little group and was so happy to have it again!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

I'm a Therapist, Y'all!

 2 January - 8 January 2023

Just like any other week, this past week had its ups and downs, but the important thing is that I survived the downs with dignity, and I'm going to focus on the ups that brought me joy so that they can bring me joy again when I read back through my journey.

The first half of the week was nothing too exciting. I was able to take a much-needed break from school (and an unwanted break from work, lol). I haven't had too many hours of work in the past couple of months, so being told not to come in to work anymore because they aren't busy enough was kind of a big bummer, but having time off from school has been amazing. I'm truly burnt out with school. Fortunately, now I'll only be taking one class on top of my internship class and internship itself. This will leave me with plenty of room to focus on my internship and apply what I've been learning, so classes FINALLY won't be the main focus of my life. (#blessed #muchneededchange). Anyway, I was able to go in to work on Tuesday and Thursday for 3 hours each day and got some much-needed organizing and deep cleaning done, but then my boss texted me that I'm not needed because it isn't busy and that "if you are needed, we will call you." Yeah. Right. That kind of ticked me off because NO. I am not at your beck and call! You kept me on part-time and we had a verbal agreement about the days I'd be working, and now to save yourself money, you're going to wait until it's busy to call me in to help? No, it doesn't work like that! I realized they've been stringing me along ever since October, when we hired my replacement. I told them my last day I could work full-time and the days and times I'd be able to work next year as a part-time help (because they were begging for it, really wanting me to stay on and help, mind you), and then all the sudden I'm cut back all these hours, given WEEKS off, cut down to half-days, and then when I'm starting back up like we agreed for the new year, I'm told to stop coming in until mid-January or when I'm "called." Now, I'm not saying all of this out of bitterness or anger, but just out of feeling liberated to realize that I'm not crazy or worthless or in the wrong for wanting to go in to work the hours we'd agreed to. They were even trying to cut back the hours of my replacement, Denae, who was hired to work full-time, and she had to put her foot down and say, "No, I was hired to work full weeks, and I wouldn't have taken the job if that wasn't the case, so I need to keep those hours." Because, yeah! We're poor; we need money. Of COURSE we'd love to have work off and go on vacation, but we can't afford it right now. So I had a nice talk with her and felt very validated, and then I told my family about what happened and they agreed that I was not being treated with the respect I deserve. So, if something else comes up, I will feel ZERO percent guilty taking on that job and telling the tax place, "snooze ya loose." (Obviously in a waaayy nicer way). So, my ears are peeled for other job opportunities. Okay, rant over. :)

Let's see... on Wednesday morning, I went into the internship office to get set up and ready to roll for when my internship officially starts. Yo, it just made me realize how unprepared I am, and how unprepared they are for me! Good thing I am taking the initiative, because we had to set up an email for me, which took us TWO hours to do. I was working with the new office manager, Kendra, and we couldn't get me in the system and set up without the email, and we couldn't figure out how to get into it for a while, then how to add an email (we called the people and found out we had to buy another domain, which is $$$$OO pricey). There's quite a bit to do in such a short amount of time, so it's good that I'm the kind of person who stays on top of things. So almost three hours of sitting there for nothing, but also not for nothing, you know? Because I'm getting to know the place and the flow of things and getting to know the office manager better and how she works. We planned for me to come back on Friday to  go through everything since my email would take up to 24 hours to register and start working once they helped us set it up. I also attended the temple Wednesday afternoon. I love thinking of going to the temple as the Lord personally inviting me to come visit Him in His house.

Friday morning was so helpful. I got a key to the office at Clear Counseling! I parked in the back and went in to finish training with Kendra. I had a list of questions, and Michele was able to come and chat with us for a while because one of her appointments cancelled, so I was able to ask her as well, which was super helpful. The exciting news is that someone reached out to my through my Psychology Today profile and wants to seek therapy from me and see if we're a good fit! That made me so excited. People are seeing me as a professional and wanting to meet with me! It also gave me a good dose of panic... what am I going to do to help her?? I don't know what I'm doing!!!! (But really I do, but imposter syndrome is REAL, y'all). Also, I'm reassured that I'll be able to get the client hours I need because I am going to work at a group home and they have plenty of clients that I can take on. So all the stress about finding clients has been majorly relieved! I was also able to talk with one of the other therapists there, Kari, and get to know her better. I checked out the play therapy room in more detail. I'm super pumped to get thrown in and start learning! There's no other way to do it.

The other highlight of my week was Saturday night. We had the missionaries over for dinner Saturday night and made smoked pizzas (which no, that was not the best part I was referring to). I have been weary of having missionaries over because I find myself judging them and I hate that. So tonight I decided to take a more direct approach, and after my mom finished rambling all about politics to the missionaries (her favorite topic to discuss with them, which is rather ironic), I changed the subject and said, "So, you're sitting at a table with three returned missionaries. What questions do you have or advice do you need? Anything you're struggling with?" That was a GAME changer. They started discussing things they felt stuck in and wanted new ideas for approaches in knocking on doors and street contacting. I was able to give advice and testify and felt the Spirit so powerfully. Valerie chimed in with awesome advice, and even dad spoke up. The missionaries loved it. My mom said it looked like the elders were about to pull out a notepad and start taking notes. We also discussed methods for working with members and less actives or investigators, and we just felt so close to each other and had such a bonding experience, feeling the Spirit together. Elder Taylor said that he felt like his spark for missionary work had been re-lit, that he'd been in a rut before. That was just so fulfilling to hear! Because that's been my dream. To inspire and help others be more missionary-minded and more like Christ. After my mom came back from church on Sunday, she said that the missionaries totally lit up with they saw her and our family and she could tell they LOVED dinner, and they said they'd come to us if they needed help or advice ever again. Yay for genuine missionary work!! Also, later after the missionaries left, I went with dad, mom, and Lu to play pickleball at Gilbert Regional, and I was actually doing so good! I have lots of room to grow, but I am catching on and improving!! Sunday evening, we had our CFM group over to watch Elder Holland's devotional, and the sister missionaries stopped by (like 30min late) to share a message with us. After they left, Jasen said he was going to stake choir and I asked if I could jump in his car and ride along with him, so we went to stake choir. On the way there, we practiced our duet and it sounded pretty good!! On the way home, I broached the topic of ice skating and was able to clear the air (at least on my side) about where we stood as friends because of something he had said a few weeks earlier. He was grateful that I cleared the air because he didn't even remember it and didn't mean it like how I took it, and I didn't hold any hard feelings towards him, but I was just confused. So, I'm glad I had the courage to speak up and clear that misunderstanding. I'm learning a lot about what friendship and different types of relationships look like. They really do teach you a lot about yourself and your insecurities and vulnerabilities.

The two elders who asked for contacting advice at dinner:

I've been giving Valerie voice lessons, and I think she is enjoying it--at least she keeps attending every week. I am seeing small steps of progress each time, and I hope she is as well. Plus, it is good experience for me to better learn things about singing because I have to be able to explain and demonstrate it to my student. I've been watching this voice teacher on YouTube that has been super helpful: Victoria's Victorious Vocal Tips. 

Gracelyn's been over a lot this week because Briesa has been working in Grandpa's spare bedroom so she can feed Gracelyn during her breaks, and then Aaron leaves the baby with us and goes out to clean totes and stuff. She has started teething and has been a bit grumpy lately, so it's been hard because she just cries a LOT. But when she's in a happy mood (usually in the morning or right after eating/napping), it's such a joy. Aaron brought over her play mat so we can use it to help keep her entertained and happy. They left it over and Valerie decided she wanted to be the baby... haha!

Also, I've been working on this painting for SO long, but I'm finally making some good progress! The mountains need more work, but I'm feeling pretty proud of the clouds!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

P.S. I wrote this on Sunday but forgot to post because I wanted to add in notes about whatever happened Sunday night, which I totally forgot about. Sorry!

2023, Baby!

 26 December 2022 - 1 January 2023

Welcome to the new year! I find it so interesting that these past holidays and milestones have made me feel more like an adult than ever solely due to the lack of child-like excitement and expectation. Christmas was a wonderful day, truly, but it was also the least excited I've ever felt about Christmas, with little anticipation. I did not feel like celebrating on new year's eve and would have happily went to sleep by 10pm. Besides feeling a little tinge of sadness that my childhood days are over (even though they've technically been over for many years... haha), I am not disappointed or depressed about it, because I'm learning to enjoy and love each day as it comes. To not let my circumstances influence how I feel, but rather the focus of my current thoughts. I don't need to wait for a big holiday to be happy, and I don't need a holiday celebration to go perfectly to be happy. Those are just circumstances. Lately, I have been so -peaceful and content and grateful on a day-to-day basis, and that is worth so much more to me than pinning all my hopes of happiness onto a holiday that goes perfectly.

Okay, so now let's see what happened this past week... or should I say year? ;) I finished setting up my new laptop and bought Microsoft Office so I could have Word again. Yay. I also went to the gym in the mornings with my mom, Monday through Friday. Monday night, I went over to my friend Amber's house to paint nails and talk. I learned a bit more about her. I started watching Cobra Kai, which has been pretty good if you just watch it on your laptop with a profanity filter extension. Tuesday through Friday, I went to the temple each day. I did three initiatory sessioins and then an endowment session. I began feeling kind of moody and mad-at-the-world during the middle of the week (hinting at something soon to come... hooray...), and being in the temple really helped me feel calm and peaceful. On days where I felt like my life was useless (because I'm also on break from both school and work and have too much time on my hands that I'm squandering), it was nice to be able to say, "Well, at least I'm able to do ordinances with my physcial body in proxy for those who have already died and are waiting." That made me feel like my life had more meaning and I didn't feel so bad about "wasting" time. I also spent some hours painting, making progress on an old painting I'd started but never finished. On Friday afternoon, I played pickleball with my mom, sisters, and my mom's friend. My skills are definitly improving! Saturday morning, Val and I drove to the Tempe institute building to help set up for the New Year's Eve YSA party, which was kind of funny because people started turning to us for directions on how to decorate and what to do. We didn't know any more than them, but we had experience setting up and decorating for big events. It was a pretty fun and relaxed day. I made some snacks and got all the food out and ready for our family feast that evening. I bought lots of yummy things to try, like this cranberry cinnamon goat cheese that everyone loved. Then I got dolled up and went to the YSA dance with Valerie, where I had an unenjoyable time. I was just NOT feeling it. I wanted to be alone and be sleeping. But I showed up, and I looked very cute. Valerie did a fancy hair style on me. Fortunately, Val wasn't feeling it either, so we left to go home early, around 11pm. And wow, I slept in! Sunday morning, I woke up around 9:30am! Church has been moved back to 1:30pm this year, which isn't ideal because I'd rather have it earlier, but I was glad just this once. But it's weird having a later church time. It threw off my schedule. Well, this upcoming week, I start at my internship! I have a LOT to learn and know it will be stressful, so I am planning to include Christ in all of my goals: for school, work, internship, and hobbies. So far, my no-proccessed-sugars goal/challenge is going well.

I am going to have a set time every morning to read and study my scriptures: 6:30am. I am going to consult Christ about my internship clients and challenges. I am going to look for opportunities to be Christlike in my job. I'm going to trust in the Lord to help me manage my finances.

Got a late Christmas card in the mail from my friend Erika!

Picture of the dance floor after we helped set up.

Selfie after Val did my hair. Wish I had gotten a pic of the back. So pretty!

More decorating...

Selfie before Lucy went off to her stake dance.

Look at us two cuties! Hottest babes at the dance ;)

Gracelyn has turned into our little bubble-blower. She spits and blows bubbles like crazy! She is also learning to squeal and babble.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Merry Christmas!

 19 December - 25 December 2022

I had this entire week off from both school and work, so I tried to stay productive by studying for my MFT exam next year, painting, and practicing piano. I was not as productive as I would have liked to imagine, but I did my best. I played racquetball in the late afternoon with the girls in my family plus Andrew and Zeb. I actually played pretty well! I'd say the best I've done so far! That evening for FHE, we decorated gingerbread houses. I sat at a table with three other guys who are sometimes socially awkward and did my best to make it fun. Our creation fell apart shortly after we put it on the stage to be judged at the end. Oh well!

Tuesday was filled with cleaning! I swept and mopped and cleaned up junk to help mom prepare for the annual Burnham Christmas party where Val hosts the games. I got to sneak some food for dinner, yum yum! I spied on the party antics and got to live vicariously through the fun they had. They LOVED the "Elf Yourself" video Valerie created of them and enjoyed playing telephone charades. Kim got some pretty funny videos of the family playing that game.

On Wednesday, I went to Kelli's house at noon to go over everything I'd need to know for dog sitting for a week. She bought me a bunch of snacks and showed me the ropes (literally, if you count the dog leashes as ropes... hehe). I'd have to spend the nights at her house. Fortunately for me, (sadly for her), I found out the next day that her flight got canceled and she did not need me anymore. That evening, Charly hosted everyone over to watch The Muppet's Christmas Carol. It was an okay movie, but the best part of the evening was definitely the company. And Charly had some pretty awesome snacks, including gluten and dairy-free options for me! So kind! Cadence, who had asked me on a date at the ward Christmas party, was there, along with Amber, Brittany, and Jasen. I sat down on the corner of the couch, Jasen sat on my right side, and Cadence sat on the ledge in front of me, which was kind of awkward for obvious reasons. I really enjoyed talking with and interacting with Jasen. He showed us all a game he was addicted to called STOP and got us all playing it. We also made fruit roll-up tattoos on our tongues. At the end of the night, we watched Brittany's pet iguana/lizard eat a small worm. It looked so cool! It had spots like a cheetah! Also, there was a tender moment that happened. So before, Jasen said he hated iceskating and wouldn't go even if I asked him (like on a date), and later he said he only went in the past if he had a crush on a girl/liked her enough. I felt like that was a subtle (or not so subtle) way of saying he didn't like me, which hurt, though I think he thought I was sad just because he didn't want to go iceskating (this was on Dec 11th and he didn't text me for an entire week. Granted, I didn't text him either, but that was because I'd been the last person to text and had been the one initiating the previous week, and so I took a hint to stop texting him since it sounded like he didn't like me anymore, and sure enough, it felt confirmed when he didn't text me for an entire week, but then he kind of acted like nothing happened when I saw him on Sunday so I followed his lead and am trying to match him. And it seems like he maybe likes me again? Like maybe he missed me? I don't know. But I guess that's all part of it). So, with all of that background, this next part will make more sense: I'd invited our group chat of people to go iceskating on Thursday because Lucy, her friends, and Andrew wanted to go. At the movie night, Jasen asked if I was still willing to help teach a hopeless cause and said he would be willing to go. It made me feel really good because it felt like an apology/him saying he did like me enough to go with me. He didn't end up coming to skate because he had to do chores before he left out of town later that day, and he said he'd be super late, and I said we should just reschedule because fresh ice is paramount to having a postitive skating experience. He texted me after and said that even though he's only had negative experiences skating, "after careful consideration," skating with me might actually be a fun/good experience. So we'll see if that happens. Oh, plus he texted me on Monday that he still wanted to watch the last episode of Merlin together, but the ball is in his court to plan a time and it hasn't happened yet. 

Anyway, so skating on Thursday was pretty fun. Only one person from my friend group came, Cadence. He wasn't doing so good, but did a bit better after one of the workers offered to tighten his skates. I felt obligated to stay with him for the majority of the time, so it honestly would have been a bit more fun if I hadn't felt that way. The funnest part was towards the end when all of us got together in the middle circle and I was helping teach everyone different tricks and showing off. I did some BOMB spins! Usually they're pretty hard for me, but I was doing so well staying on the sweet point. Lucy also had a super fun time! So overall, it was good! Afterwards, Cadence wanted to go on our date to get Acai bowls. Then we stopped by and got fries at Smashburgers after, and then my mom invited him to go play racquetball with us, and it was his first time playing while actually knowing the rules. Cadence was a gentleman and very kind, but I didn't click with him like I have with other guys.

I went to the temple to do initiatories on Friday. We went out for dinner as a family, but Garcias was SO packed that we wouldn't have time to eat there and make it to the David Archuleta concert on time, so we tried looking for another place on our way home but nothing worked out. Mom was so sad and grumpy. But a blessing in disguise happened because a tamale guy had come by to sell us tamales, and mom had told grandpa to pay him since we weren't home, so when we got home, fresh tamales were waiting for us! And they were delish! And the best part was that they didn't hurt my tummy that night or the next day!! Then we left that evening, me, mom, Val, and Lu, to go to David Archy's concert. The poor guy sounded a bit sick, like a sore throat, but he still did good. Lucy was a punk and had to be bribed into going because she wasn't feeling too well, so on the way home, we had to stop at Frys to get her sushi.

Saturday was Christmas Eve. I wrote the sweetest note for Lucy and wrapped dad a present. I'm becoming frustrated with trying to get my new computer working. There are aspects of it that I think will be amazing, but I'm having trouble getting the basic things to work, like storage and downloading Microsoft word. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There went all my frustration... well, most of it, anyway. Oh yeah, so most of my Saturday was spent blending up gluten-free flour. We also got to watch Gracelyn in the afternoon while Aaron and Bri went riding. She's adorbs as always! It's actually super funny because she looks more bald than when she was born except for this patch of long hair at the back bottom of her head, so we joke that she has a mullet. We ate breakfast for dinner.

Sunday was Christmas! I tried on some of my new makeup products. We watched the nativity video as per tradition, then had monkey bread (I had leftover GF waffles from the previous night). We opened presents, and I knew I wasn't getting much, but I was still surprised that I didn't have any presents to open under the tree! I had one. But then, Val found two other ones for me, hidden waaayyyy in the back. I got two things I didn't expect. My most expensive gift, though, were massage coupons!! Which were hiding in my stocking. SO pumped to use them!! My absolute favorite part of Christmas was watching Lucy read the card I wrote her. She cried. Like, tears running down her face, shoulders shaking, sobbing. When she was done reading it, she gave me a big hug, the longest hug she's ever given me. It was SO precious. Valerie also got teary-eyed reading my card too. So tender. I love my sisters times a million!! Aaron and Bri came over with the baby while we were opening presents. They got all the girls in the family a dress. We took the CUTEST pictures of Gracelyn! I just love that little human so very much. Val and I drove to church together, which NEVER happens cuz she's always having to go early for ward council. We sang hymns the whole time with some Christmas scriptures read between each song. It would have been fine but I sat next to someone who sang so loud that my ear started hurting on that side...! When we got back, we had Christmas lunch with our whole family, including Sean and Symantha and Grandpa and Aaron and Bri and the babe. That was pretty much it. I napped for a bit, we had cheesecake, everyone left, then we chilled for the rest of the night. Mom and dad went over to Kim's house, but me and my sistas did not feel like socializing anymore. We were just kinda bored. But when mom and dad got home, we played Code Names and then watched It's a Wonderful Life (but I got bored and went to bed about halfway in). So yup, that was Christmas!

Symantha loved the "Elf Yourself" vid Val made for her.

Gracelyn didn't particularly care about the present, but she loves smiling back at me!

Look, I got a present to open!

Mini photoshoot cuz we felt cute

After church selfie

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Rock Lobster

12 December - 18 December 2022

Monday evening, we played "Stump the Bishopric" for FHE. Everyone was asked to bring an object--the more random, the better. The bishopric then had to relate said-object to the gospel. It was super cheesy, but the fun part was seeing all the random objects people brought. I brought my iron man paper weight thing that was given to me on my birthday while I was a missionary in Brewton, AL, but they never got to my object. I've been good at socializing this week and talking with lots of people! 

On Tuesday, I met with my site supervisor, Michele, to go over some questions and concerns I had about starting my internship. We took the whole hour to talk and did not get to everything, but I left feeling more informed and reassured about starting my internship. I will have a couple of weeks to ease into it and will start with individuals. She will pay for me to attend an couples externship before I start meeting with couples and families. It was kind of awkward that she didn't realize I was a marriage and family therapist intern. I believe she thought I was an individual professional counselor, so when she realized, she said, "Oh, I'm going to have to re-think the clients I give to you!" She is crazy busy and doing so much good that some things may slip through the cracks, but I have confidence the most important things will not and I'll be able to have a successful internship. That evening, I drove to Mesa for a CPR training. I passed! So now I am CPR and BLS/First Aid certified! But hopefully I won't need to use those skills. 

On Wednesday, I didn't have work. Jill told me Tuesday was my last day of the year. Mom and I went to Shelli's house for a hair appointment, to get all prettied up, as mom likes to say. Shelli told me to put coconut oil in my hair after I shower. So, cheers to hair health. That evening, we had our Relief Society Christmas party at Brianna's house. It was pretty fun! We watched Three Wise Men and a Baby, which was pretty cute. There was lots of yummy treats. I spoke with lots of sisters and made sure to say hi to them all. 

My hair style on Sunday. You can see the touched-up highlights Shelli did.

Thursday morning, I went to the temple to do an endowment session with a few other people from the ward. I felt SO peaceful and happy after. I was just in such a good mood, I couldn't even tell ya. I felt such peace and contentment and excitement about my future. I drove to the Mesa office to carpool with Kelli and Jill to Scottsdale for our Christmas party work lunch. We went to Maggiano's Little Italy, a fancy restaurant that did not have many good options for me. I got gluten-free noodles with dairy cheese sauce, because I figured those side effects would be better than acid reflux from red sauce. Fun times. We chatted for an hour (maybe more!!) before our food arrived, and we all got a Christmas envelope, which contained a bonus. Last year I got a $100 bill. This year... I got four times that amount! Hooray for bosses who love to spread the wealth and invest in their employees! Thursday evening, I attended institute and we had a really great discussion about hope. My favorite definition of hope is using it as a mindset to feel and express joy now for promised blessings we haven't yet received but know will come. We don't have to wait to be happy until after we get those blessings. We can live in anticipation and excitement as if they've already come.

Friday morning, I drove out to Mesa to help set up for a lady who hosts a Christmas event for children in foster homes. I set up a butt-load of chairs and tables, and I think we surprised the lady by how quickly we finished everything up! I went to a friend's house to pick up a piece of pottery as a Christmas gift in the afternoon. I got this blueish greenish glazed bowl, which I am going to use to hold papers for group games and stuff. That evening, I attended the Mulcahy Christmas party (Michele and her husband hosted one for all of us interns working in her office). I arrived on time (6pm) and felt a bit out of place because Michele was back getting ready, so I was just in the kitchen as her husband prepped food, and the next people didn't arrive until 6:30pm! Then the last few people came between then and 7pm. Michele and her husband are big wine/alcohol drinkers and have their own wine cellar. They were so disappointed by everyone who just asked for water (lol, which included me). We all chatted and ate appetizers for another hour/hour and a half, then had dinner. It was really good! We had steak and potatoes and vegetables. There were gluten-free cookies and chocolates for dessert. Then we had a white elephant gift exchange. I brought a $25 Cheesecake Factory gift card, which people kept stealing from each other, so that was good. The funniest thing was that I ended up with a bottle of wine and a wine chiller. No one stole it from me! At the end, Michele felt bad because she knew I didn't drink wine. She asked, "Do you know anyone who drinks wine?" I thought for a moment and started to say "no" before abruptly saying, "Yes! You!!" and I got up and gave it to her. She traded me gifts (she'd gotten a $25 Texas road house gift card). Even though we were there for about 4.5 hours, it didn't seem too long. We all got along pretty great and had an enjoyable time. I'm pumped to get to work with these people!

Saturday I felt so sluggish. Whatever I'd been eating the past couple of days caught up to me and I felt dead inside. So tired and achy. My stomach hurt after the Mulcahy dinner when I went to bed, so I probably got some gluten cross contamination. But I slept in so late on Saturday and lazed about, but made sure to still do the most important stuff like read my scriptures! That evening was our ward Christmas party, which was surprisingly fun! It was very professionally decorated with low lighting, candle-lit dinner plates set out, etc. There was some gentle jazz music playing. It was all quite romantic, actually. Dinner was an entire hour late! Which turned out to be a good thing because I went around and talked to EVERYONE, and I mean everyone. I had learned everyone's name by the end of the night and had introduced some people to each other. There were a few awkward encounters, but for the most part, it was really enjoyable and it gave everyone an opportunity to socialize, bond, and get to know each other better. I felt good enough to socialize, despite still not feeling good from food allergy side effects. I took ibuprofen before going, but I think God also helped so I could be an agent in bringing our ward closer. We had a white elephant gift exchange and I forgot to bring a gift, but they had extra gifts, so I got roped into playing, and it was actually pretty fun. I got a 3D printed lobster with the head of Dwayne the Rock Johnson... aka, a Rock Lobster! It was hilarious! It also came with $5. I absolutely enjoyed getting such a random gift. Plus, it came with $5. Cadence sat by me after dinner and we roped him into doing the gift exchange, so he then roped me into doing it with him, and we sat by each other in the circle and he asked me on a date. He said something along the lines of, "To apologize for roping you into this, can I make it up to you by taking you out for a soda?" I said, "Yes, but I don't actually like soda." So we planned a date and time to go out and get something that isn't soda. He is really kind and got back from his mission a couple of months ago.

On Sunday, I was so nervous to sing for some reason! We had our four-person musical number as part of the Christmas program, "What Child is This." I had a rocky start, but finished strong, and it went better than I could have hoped for. Valerie and others said it was actually quite beautiful, especially the harmonizing. I also sang in the ward choir. That afternoon, I gave Valerie her second lesson for voice lessons. She is already improving! I went to the stake choir music devotional early and joined in last minute on a practice of a song our ward was singing with another ward so I could join them on stage for the performance, and I'm really grateful I did, because I got to see some friends there. I was seated next to Jasen during the practice and it was good to be able to talk for a bit and reestablish a foundation of friendship where we chatted easily and even teased each other. The music devotional went well, and afterwards there was pie for dessert. I chatted with a few friends in the ward and then went home and straight to bed because I was so tired! Also, Lucy finished her painting of Christ looking at the sky, so I wanted to include that picture along with the one she did a while back of Christ carrying a girl.

My new favorite snack

Cutie Gracelyn looking like the Cat in the Hat

Gracelyn looking THRILLED that I'm holding her. She wasn't in a good mood that day, so I'm just lucky I got her to stop crying! Haha

Love,

Emily Burnham