The
past few weeks have been very difficult because for some reason I’ve felt very
discouraged and frustrated with myself and my weaknesses. I was also constantly
feeling tired as a result of a heavy homework-load and early-morning custodial
job. As I was down in the dumps, I just so happened to read a chapter in the
scriptures that related perfectly to what I was feeling. Isn’t God’s timing the
best? I was reading in 2 Nephi 4 where Nephi says,
“Behold, my soul delighteth in the
things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I
have seen and heard. Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the
Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O
wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul
grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the
temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me… Awake my soul! No longer
droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart…” (2 Nephi 4: 16-18, 28).
Nephi is such an inspiration to me
because even though he has seen visions and miracles from the Lord, this passage
illustrates that he too is subject to sin and depression, but he is able to
overcome these feelings by turning to the Lord and gaining joy and peace. I was
then able to turn to the Lord and gain a perspective of hope that everything
would work out, that God was happy with me, and that I shouldn’t be too hard on
myself. My doubts turned to joy, and I know it was only because I turned to
God, just as Nephi taught through his actions.
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