Birthday Weekend!

24 January - 30 January 2022

Can you believe it? It's already the end of January. You know what that means... dun dun dun... my birthday!!!! And Grandpa Jim's birthday, and Symantha's birthday, and then Valerie's birthday.

My mom is the best! She has come up with all the FHE ideas lately, haha. We took the YSA to the gym for FHE to play racquetball, and we had people crashing from other groups because they really wanted to play/work out at the gym. 

I've come up with a new system for school work that has been such a blessing. I already have been listing out all the assignments that are due that week at the beginning of the week, but then I feel pressured to get them all done early, fast, ahead of time, etc. And then I dread doing my homework and am not as effective. Well, I came to the realization that I am not going to get ahead on my homework. I'm just not. I'm going to stay on top of it and get it done when it needs to get done, but otherwise I'm going to enjoy my life. Work on projects, go to social activities, watch the occasional movie. So, I assigned all the tasks of that week to a specific day, and then I know that once I finish it that day, I'm off the hook for the rest of the day. And since I've split everything up equally across the week, I'm not super heavy loaded with homework on any particular day. It's great! Then I'm motivated to get my homework done asap so I can relax the rest of the night. 

Also, if anyone asks, my favorite TV show is Lost in Space. I still have one episode left to watch!!! I've been so busy that I haven't been able to watch it yet, but I'm excited. Also a bit sad because then it will be over. But also glad that it isn't one of those TV shows that drags on forever and gets lamer and watered down. 

Anyways, the other things of note that happened this week was that I had one person come to CFM on Sunday. Lucy participated! Though that was because she wanted chips afterwards. But she had some good insights! I was very pleased. I went to the temple on Saturday and then my parents took me out to Red Robin for dinner! Lucy tagged along. I got bottomless fries and bottomless salad and a guacamole bacon burger!! YUM! I was in fry-heaven! I just had a cheesy grin on my face all night long. Then they brought me a free ice-cream since it was my birthday dinner celebration.

Later when we got home from dinner, Valerie had some friends over for a birthday party and planned all these games to play, one of which was a truth or dare game where the slips of paper were in ice cream cones and you had to crush them with a hammer! One of the dares I got was to call a family member and try to get them to confess something. Aaron didn't answer, so I called Grandpa Jim. It was so cute because he said, "What did I do? Well, if I knew what I did, I'd confess!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that :).

Church on Sunday was great! We had a great speaker talk about sustaining those in callings and being more friendly to others. Then we had a combined second hour and talked about the ward mission plan, which includes becoming a ward family. I love that! We had some good comments, including mine about knowing the names of all the members in your family and greeting them. Then, I got some people to subscribe to my YouTube channel! I only had to bribe them with chocolate is all... hehe. But I've been getting a lot of positive feedback from people about my videos. There was this one crazy lady commenting on my Tithing video negative stuff, and my dad went on there and roasted her! It's good to know my daddy watches my videos and has my back. I also attended mom and dad's ward linger longer and got to socialize with some peeps. And I attended a devotional in the evening, which was broadcast to our bldg, and the quality was SO BAD! I think I heard about half of what he said, and understood half of what I did hear... lols. Oh well, it was good to get to socialize. Oh yeah, and on the way there, we spotted two coyotes just across the street!

ALSO!! We got some exciting news on Sunday from Aaron and Briesa!!! I'm gonna be an AUNT!!!! Yes, that's right. They're gonna have a baby in about seven more months! Mom is so so excited! Dad says he would be more excited if Val and I were getting married... hehe but I think he is super excited.

I am sharing my videos and my goals of being a writer with others. Those dreams are becoming a reality. Also, here is an amazing picture of Christ I came across. You're welcome.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Courage To Be All-In

 17 January - 23 January 2021

A new movie on Disney Plus came out that looked good, so I told my parents we were going to watch it for FHE (because I didn't want to go play ultimate frisbee with my ward...). Well, that movie was BORING! We got just over half way, then turned in for the night.

On Wednesday, I did not have a good day at work. I don't know what triggered me, probably that I got feedback on things I need to do better--and it's not necessarily that I got feedback, but the way I got feedback. I don't like how they treat me like I'm a "dumb" secretary. Just because I have an "easy job" so that I can work on my Master's degree doesn't mean I am dumb. In fact, it shows how smart I am because I am basically getting paid to do schoolwork! Anyways, I don't even think they are aware of it, because if they were conscious of what they were doing and how it made me feel, they would feel terrible, because they are nice people. But anyways, I took a picture of how sad I looked. Anyways, when I got home from work, my family wanted to go play racquetball, and I wasn't in the mood, but they said it would help me feel better. I went. Well, I got hit five times with the ball!!! And at the end, I was dragging because of low blood sugar. But I'm still glad I went to spend time with my family.

On Thursday night, Lucy went to  babysit, so I got to watch some episodes of Lost in Space! I am almost done with the series, but I can't watch it when Lucy is home because she throws a fit and threatens to take off Netflix and yadadadada. But it was a perfect way to end the night.

I attended the temple on Saturday, then got some gas on my way home at Sam's Club. Earlier in the week, I was feeling down about not having any friends in the ward (or in general here in AZ) and was feeling frustrated. I was playing with the idea of just moving back to Provo/Orem where the social life and wards were better. But then I was stressing about how I would have enough money to pay rent, and food, and school, and have a job that paid less or didn't allow me as much time for school. Then I was just frustrated. But the Lord humbled me. I need to sacrifice all I have to learn something about myself. I can't just run away from my problems--that won't fix them. I need to give my all to this ward. I know what it could be like, and I can start working on changing it for the better by starting off by changing myself. I had some ideas come to mind. One, I'd start a weekly CFM study group with games afterwards to create my own friend group and gather with others who might also feel left out in the ward. Second, I would learn everyone's name in the ward so that I can greet them by name when I see them. Third, I would buy a huge bag of chocolate and always keep some in my church bag to give out to people. I remember Mira did this. She always had chocolate and offered it to people and joked that it was how she kept all her friends. So after I got gas at Sam's Club, I made a quick pitstop inside to buy a huge bag of chocolates. I brought some on Sunday and gave them out to people and started working on learning names and saying hi to them and asking about their week. It was a great Sunday! Guys, this plan is genius. Plus, lots of people were happy or touched that I gave them candy. DOUBLE PLUS, I looked like a super model ;).

Last week, I got some nasty comments from some person on YouTube. Well, this week, I found out that my dad had responded to the person, defending me and tearing their argument apart to make them look stupid. That warmed my heart because my dad was looking out for me and defending me. Maybe my channel doesn't reach a whole lot of people, but it is important to me, and I'm grateful for my family's support.

I bought a book this week called "Finish and Publish Your Book." I've come to the conclusion that I don't like working when it is a job not of my choosing, but of necessity or convenience. I want to spend my time doing something that is meaningful and gives me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. I was inspired to get this book to help me know what it would take to publish the books I am writing and want to write. As I was reading through, I was encouraged at first, because I'm on the right track and know a lot about writing in general and making it meaningful and purposeful. Then I got to the sections about hiring an editor, getting the cover done, picking which formats to publish in, and marketing/promoting your book. Then I started to feel overwhelmed and not as confident in my ability to do it. Basically, you need to be all-in and prioritize writing and promoting above other things in your life. You need to think of yourself as an author and start building your fanbase before your book is even published! I don't like the idea of trying to get an email list going or a FB fan page before I even have a finished product! Then, as I read Alma 57 about the courage of the 2,000 stripling warriors, I realized something. They had no idea how to fight. They had never fought before, nor had they ever seen their fathers fight. But they had courage to go for it, to be all-in, and trust in the Lord and words of their mothers. I think Satan works the hardest to discourage you from doing something when it is going to have a positive impact on the world, and I don't want to let him win. I'm going to choose to have courage, to put my faith in the Lord, and even though I'm nervous and don't know how it will go, I am going to be all-in. I am going to take the time to write each day. I am going to talk about my books to others, treat myself as a serious author, and work my butt off with the goal that someday, I will get paid for my books. I won't have to work a job not of my choosing.

Much love and much courage,

Emily Burnham

Fitting In

10 January - 16 January 2021

I feel like writing this post as a song, lol. I've been a little down this past week, and as I ponder years past, it seems like in January/February, I'm a little bit sad and sorrowful, ponderous and weighed down. My mom calls it seasonal depression, which she also experiences. So it's a bit harder to focus and feel the positive things going on in life right now, but here goes :)

My mom and sister were amazing in helping me come up with the plan for FHE and carry out all the prep work. We had eight people come, and we made snow flakes, then picked some people to decorate their doors with in the ward. I really hope that made their day. 

The other strange thing that happened this week was that overnight, I got a couple thousand views on some of my YouTube videos. I think it was because this person emailed me a couple days ago and said that they loved the content of my channel so much that they would promote it for me for free. Well, whatever they did worked, but I actually didn't feel good about it because even with all those views, the average watch time was less than a minute and I didn't get a single subscriber more (though I did reach 400 subscribers this past week!). And, some person left mean comments on my video about tithing about how I'm lying and teaching false doctrine and yada yada yada. Blah. So if I get a lot of viewers, I want it to be from people genuinely interested in learning about the gospel and not people who are potentially getting paid to watch and troll and leave mean comments that make me sad. :(

Mom came down sick this week, catching whatever I had. One night, her head was hurting and she tied a belt around it to help with the pressure. It looked hilarious, so of course I snagged a picture ;)

On Wednesday, I brought Adrian his birthday present, which was a Book of Mormon and some chocolate. He seemed very pleased to get a gift. After work, I went to drop off the gifts I'd gotten for my ministering sisters. On the very last delivery, I dropped the jar of salsa and it broke in the middle of the street! So instead of getting chips and salsa, they only got chips... oh well. It's the thought that counts!

On Friday, I had my second interview for FSY, which was in person. I was told 10 minutes before the meeting that I would have two minutes to lead a discussion on "language" from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. It was easy and I think it went super well. Whenever you focus on Jesus Christ and testifying of Him, teaching is easy because the Spirit is there. On Saturday, I had a video call date with a guy from mutual who lives in New Hampshire. After, I went to a temple session. I also attended Robbie's wedding reception. They had catered dinner from Cafe Rio, so my family ate a ton. Then I left. I went home and watched Encanto and then Lost in Space. 

I have a cool testimony and experience to share about Sunday. Like I mentioned earlier, I just haven't been feeling very happy or positive this week. In fact, on Saturday and Sunday I was so mad at Sean because he was annoying and frustrating. I went to church and sat in sacrament meeting and just cried during all the hymns and the sacrament. Tears rolled down my cheeks and snot dripped from my nose--the whole shazam. After the sacrament was passed, I snuck out to the bathroom to blow my nose and wipe my eyes better. But the reason I was crying was because I sat there having a conversation with God about how lonely I felt, and how I didn't feel like I fit in with anyone at church. I didn't feel like I had any friends, nor knew anyone I wanted to be friends with. A question came to mind, "Am I even going to fit in when I get to Heaven?" Because I didn't feel like I fit in right now, even among faithful church goers. The first thought that came to mind was that my Grandma Kathy was aware of how I was feeling and wanted to tell me that yes, I fit in! That she loved me and wanted me to know I fit in with her. And then of course with Jesus Christ. That when I kneel before Him one day, every doubt I've ever had about fitting in will melt completely away. I will fit in with my Heavenly Father and Mother, with my earthly mother and father. With my eternal friends. Just because I feel lonely in this moment doesn't mean I will always feel this way. In fact, when I do end up with those I belong with and feel the joy of belonging and being loved every day, I will be that much more grateful because I know what the opposite feels like. And I will be more conscientious of others who may be feeling lonely and out of place. I need to continue looking forward in faith and hope and love.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Self-patience

 3 January - 9 January 2021

I started this week off strong, not to mention looking so cute! I got a picture of me in my new office. I am officially moved into my office at the Chandler building and have a home! Granted, it is more lonely without Jill and Kelli. I did good going to the gym and working out, and I got my newest Missionary Approach video posted.

But then, I got sick! I took Thursday and Friday off of work, and the whole weekend was me on the couch resting. I watched lots of tv. I finished The Librarians series and started the Lost in Space series. Yeah, I looked a disaster though, lol.

It is important to be patient with myself because unfortunately, I take a longer time than average to heal. That's okay. My body works how it works and being frustrated with it is just a waste of energy.

Love,

Emily Burnham

New Years

 27 December 2021 - 2 January 2022

I only worked half-days Monday through Wednesday this week because the office wasn't busy at all. I was able to prepare for when the office is going to get very busy during tax season, which was very good for my mental and emotional state. I enjoy my job. It's easy and I have great coworkers.

I went to the dentist this week and got my teeth cleaned. The lady who cleaned them did the best job I've ever had yet! I've also had a lot of down time to take care of personal business, such as renewing my license plate. 

On Thursday, I went to the temple in the morning to do initiatories and left feeling so peaceful and happy. I got to relax for the rest of the day and felt so peaceful, giving myself permission to be lazy and rest. 

Friday, Lucy took me and her friend Arwen to the As You Wish pottery place. I got the nativity set, which was half off, but it took me forever to finish painting it! Four hours to be exact. I hope it turns out super cool! I can put it on my dresser to remind me of Christmas everyday. In the evening, I attended our YSA stake dance with Valerie and Sean. We got lots of cool pictures, but the gist is that it was wet, cold, rainy, had terrible food choices, and terrible dancing.

We went out to dinner at Garcias Saturday night, which was yummy. I am pretty sure I could just live off of Mexican food for the rest of my life. 

Lucy curled my hair for church and it turned out so so pretty! I also bore my testimony in sacrament meeting. Truly the joy we feel around Christmas time has little to do with our circumstance and everything to do with our focus--on the Savior! I am going to keep that focus year round.

Much love,

Emily Burnham