20 June - 26 June 2022
Let me start off with a few important lessons I learned this week. 1) When I take care of my own needs first, I am able to turn outward in love and service to others. 2) The Lord prepares multiple ways to cover for your weaknesses, limitations, and shortcomings.
The first lesson was learned at the beginning of the week. Sunday's food at the Canon Center hurt my tummy, and then there was not dietary options provided for lunch. After working hard to prep for the incoming kids, I was very hungry, and my stomach hurt from whatever I'd eaten earlier from cross contamination. So, I became a bit hangry and overwhelmed and definitely had a small breakdown outside the Marriot Center in the grass, crying because I didn't feel good and didn't have anything to eat. After a small pity-party that five people were witness to (including Val's coordinator partner Julian and other assistant coordinators/counselors), Julian called Valerie and told her to provide money for me to go to the Cougar Eat and get food from Choices (an allergy friendly place). I'm so grateful he did, because I had a meal that filled me up, tasted yummy, and helped me have the energy for the rest of the afternoon. Once the food situation worked out, I felt at peace. I knew that if I couldn't eat well, there was no way I could do my job. I'd feel sick and grumpy and cranky and not want to do anything. Fortunately, there were good dietary options at Heritage Central, so I ate pretty decently throughout the week. Fast forward to the end of the week where I travel to Missouri (more details on that later), I was super nervous about the food situation, but after talking to the dining hall, I fell so relieved and ready to take on the week. They have an allergy kitchen, and you just order online 30 minutes before you want to eat, and they will cook it for you and have it ready. And the options are diverse and amazing! Those were the best gluten-free chicken nuggets ever!! And the sweet potatoes were divine. The pizza with dairy-free cheese was pretty alright. So now that I feel confident that I'll be taken care of, I'm excited for this week to unfold! And to meet my co and kids!
The second lesson I learned bit by bit throughout the week, but then strongly at the end of the week during testimony meeting and also our group chat. So, the start of the week was a bit daunting because I had 14 girls and was in a trio with another girl who had 14 girls and then a boy who had 18 boys. Although we had a couple of no-shows, my company was still almost triple the size of the one I had in Colorado. I did my absolute best to learn names and connect with as many of the youth as I could. I prayed for my girls and all those in my company by name. I showed extra love to girls that didn't want to be there or got on my nerves. I found unique ways to connect with them (like one girl who didn't want to be there. She mentioned that guys hit on her a lot, so I asked her to keep track and I'd follow up throughout the day and be amazed/surprised at the high number. It always brought a smile to her face and a spark to her eyes). Many of the kids just needed to be listened to. One girl just really liked attention. At the end of the week during testimony meeting, I learned that she had to do a lot of the household chores and take care of her younger sisters because her mom was out of the picture. She probably doesn't get any attention at home and has to give it all to her sisters. She really got to be free of responsibility and act like her age for once (which she truly did, haha). It made me so glad that I was kind to her even though at times I could have shown annoyance or frustration. Another boy acted up and talked a lot, and I pegged him for a class-clown/popular at school, but I was always friendly with him and encouraging and kind. I never spoke or acted negatively or disapprovingly, but encouraged kindness and discouraged any harmful teasing. At testimony meeting, I was shocked and heart-broken to hear that this kid was bullied by the only other boy in his quorum. Wow, my heart was so filled with a protective momma-bear feeling during testimony meeting, because I was so shocked to hear how hard these youths' lives already are, and how many of them said they hadn't felt the Spirit before or felt like God abandoned them, or had fallen away from the church. And then they all testified how amazing FSY had been, that they'd never felt the Spirit so much in all of their life. They'd felt the spirit more in those five days than in their entire life previously. They were so supporting and loving to each other. I'd been feeling a bit discouraged, wondering if I'd had as big of an impact on them. Last week, I felt like I was able to connect with each kid on a personal level and feel the Spirit with them one-on-one. This week, I didn't have the chance to talk to every single kid one-on-one, and I wished I was able to be there for them more. But then I realized this truth: God sent them one another. I got to witness how close the youth became. So many were friendless and lonely, and they really turned to each other and supported one another. Our group chat BLEW up after FSY ended. These youth keep messaging each other and sharing things, and they keep saying how sad they were FSY was ending and how they need to have a reunion, which they're already starting to plan in the chat. Even though I couldn't be there for each of them, I had two other counselors there for them, plus all 44 kids there for each other. Also, the kids started calling me their mom, and my other co's were also "mom" and "dad." I actually loved it.
Honestly, my favorite part of this week was different than last week. Last week, I loved how palpable the spirit was with our group and as I bore testimony. I still testified of Christ and felt the Spirit this week, but what stood out the most was watching the kids bond with and strengthen each other. I also loved my co's. Brielle was my roommate in addition to my co, and we got along so well! She was so chill, genuine, and validating. She was a cheerleader and supporter, never judging. She was easy-going and easy to talk with, plus very thoughtful. I loved getting to develop a friendship with her. My other co was Ethan. At first I wasn't too sure about how we'd get along, but then I got to know him. He said he wasn't the best at expressing emotion, but a bit of talking and prodding helped him open up. I learned that he was recently engaged and was having a hard time this week because his fiancé was struggling, and that he was having a hard time connecting to his boys because there were so many of them. I was able to talk with him about options and ideas, encouraging him and offering to pray for him and help in any way I could. That really helped open him up, and we became comfortable around each other. Plus, he liked listening to me talk about therapy models because he is interested in maybe going into therapy. So I loved seeing how God placed me with other co-counselors that I needed and that needed me too. Also, I had a cool moment with another counselor in another group. We'd spent the last week in Fort Collins, so I asked him how this week was going. He said it was super rough and went on to complain about his kids and not loving them as much and missing Colorado, etc. I listened empathetically and then gently asked if maybe he was having such a hard time in Provo because he wasn't letting himself be "all-in" here, because part of him was still back in Fort Collins. He deflated a bit and said, "probably." I then went on to share a couple of ways to connect with his youth and felt the Spirit prompt me to say, "It'll get better. Just watch, things will turn completely around in the next couple of days." I felt the Spirit as I promised him that, and he looked thoughtful and grateful (though still a bit sad) as he said thank you and we parted ways. A day or two later, I saw him again and asked how things were going. He answered with a huge grin, eyes sparkling, that everything was going SO good. That Thursday had been a fabulous day with his youth. I was so grateful that he was able to listen to the Spirit and turn things around, not giving up. I tried my best during this week to be positive, because I was disturbed by how many counselors complained and complained and complained! They focused on so many negatives, and it just bothered me because 1) I don't want to go down that same negative spiral of complaining and misery, which can be easy to fall into if you give in and 2) don't you know how much the Lord is willing to bless and strengthen you??!!! We are doing the Lord's work, bringing souls to Christ, and I truly felt that there was a legion of angels around me that week, supporting me and my kids. I relied on God to get through the week and bless those kids, no matter how physically tired I became from walking so much or from sleep deprivation. I really put my trust in the Lord to overcome whatever obstacles came my way so that I could be a blessing to the kids, so it broke my heart to hear how many counselors complained constantly.
I am determined to be a disciple of Jesus Christ at all times and in all things. I want to stand as a witness of Him and rely on His power of deliverance. I get to not only bless the lives of the youth, but also the lives of other counselors. I'm grateful for these lessons I learned this week, which about sums up the whole week :). I left for Missouri Saturday morning, waking at 4:15am to get ready and then walk 20 minutes to the bus shuttle to the SLC airport. We took a flight to Minnesota and then to Missouri, then took a two hour bus to Columbia. It is definitely humid here! I felt it on the first day, but today isn't as bad (probably because it rained and didn't get as hot). This week is going to be super hot, but I'm praying that I'll be able to handle it. The college campus buildings are very pretty, like old-school brick/stone architecture. I'm so grateful to have my own room and own bathroom!
Much love,
Emily Burnham
P.S. The steps I walked this week were slightly less than last week, which was a blessing! My shin-splints-from-walking-too-much were able to heal a bit!
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