Thanksgiving Week!

 21 November - 27 November 2022

Oh boy, oh boy! It is good to be home! Some crazy things happened this week! I saw Shaquille O'neal at the Chicago airport (yes, I did NOT recognize him, but my friend Erika did and freaked out when he walked by a foot away from us)! We did manage to get a photo of the back of him! When I got to Phoenix in the evening, it took FOREVER for my family to get through traffic to pick me up because everyone was flying down for Thanksgiving I guess, and it was CRAZY PACKED! But I finally got home around 10pm, and cute Lucy had decorated my door for me and wrote me a note that she really appreciated all I did for her.

Trying to get my fingerprint card has been a NIGHTMARE! It's seriously the worst. I show up at the place, which said they take walk-ins, and they not only are by appointment only, but they stopped servicing for the government three days ago! While I was in Chicago! All they said was, "Sorry. Request a refund somehow and reschedule through their new provider." Wow. Thanks. Then I rescheduled, and then they cancel my appointment the day of! With no explanation. And this is all after never hearing back from the government on the website after I paid the $68 fee and had to reach out to them multiple times, waiting in a call line for an hour, only for it to hang up on me, so I had to keep trying. It has literally been SO annoying, and I really really really REALLY hope it works out next week and I can be done with it all! Or if not, I guess I'm just never going to work with children... :(. And I still need to get scheduled for CPR certification. Wow. Fun. Hooray. :(

But! On a more positive note, Thanksgiving was awesome! Yummy food, great time with the fam. I've got to hold Gracelyn a lot this past week, and wow she is getting so big and heavy! She really loves me though. You can tell by all the smiles she gives me :D. Mom, Dad, Aaron, and Brie (and baby) left for the Sand Dunes in California after Thanksgiving lunch, so Val, Lucy, and I planned a girl's day on Friday. We played pickleball, went to the movies to see Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, then went out to Zupas for lunch.

On another positive note, I started filming and posting YouTube videos again! I hope to keep it up. I have gotten some really nice feedback lately from random people, and I'm excited to see where it can take me as I continue to bear testimony and focus on Jesus Christ. I looked super cute on Sunday and had a great time at church. I got quite a bit of compliments on how radiant and happy I seemed, and on my baby blue dress. Also! I finished watching Merlin this week and just cried and cried at the end, but it was also really good, but also a bit of a let down, but also okay enough that I felt it had a wrapped up ending. My heart just breaks for Merlin and I love his character so much!!!

I forgot to mention that I went to a bonfire with Val Wednesday night. It was eh. Too dusty! I had a hard time breathing. But it was still fun and better than sitting at home that evening doing nothing ;).

Movies and lunch! Sistas = friends for ever!

Anyways, much love,

Emily Burnham

Chicago Residency

 14 November - 20 November 2022

Wow, I had to buckle down this week to get a LOT done since I was leaving for my residency in Chicago. Monday was the first full day that mom and dad and Val were back from Costa Rica. They were exhausted but absolutely loved the trip. Mom kept telling me how I HAD to go some day! It looked absolutely gorgeous from all the pictures they showed me. Aaron and Briesa and baby Gracelyn were over, and I had the absolute hardest time focusing on school work, so I texted my friend Jasen and asked if we could have a homework party at his house, which he agreed to. I did about 3 hours of homework over there, and it was soooo much more than I would have done if I'd been at home, especially because I was so frustrated with some of my assignments because I was having a difficult time understanding all the nuances of them. I am so grateful for how kind and encouraging Jasen was, building me up and urging me to keep working when I wanted to give up. For FHE that night, our ward made 72 hour kits and it was really fun. They had supplies laid out at all these tables, and we went around and packed them into our bags. It kinda felt like we were going shopping for free!

Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, me and mom went to the gym. I really missed gym time while she was gone. My body could definitely tell a difference of when I was exercising well and getting my heart rate up. My body was much less sore and my anxiety was much more manageable those days. On our way there Tuesday morning, mom commented about how the canal looked different and she stared at it and exclaimed, "Oh! They finally cleaned up all the nasty weeds! I wonder why now? They haven't bothered the whole time we've lived here." I was just looking at her from my position in the passenger seat and said, "Yeah, cuz I'm the one who did it." She was shocked! So surprised and touched that I'd do that for her to help beautify the neighborhood. 

Tuesday night, I went to practice a musical number I'm part of for the Christmas program with three other sisters in the ward. I am happy to help out and use my talents to invite the Spirit, but I'm not particularly excited about the musical number and just hope we all sound good together. But if not, who cares? I know I'll sound good at least ;). We also took work photos on Tuesday, so I dressed up super cute, and I'm excited to get those photos back, especially my headshot, which I can use for other bios I need professional pictures for. Wednesday after work, I went home, finished up some last things to prep for my trip, then went to bed just after 6pm until 10:45pm. That long nap just before my redeye flight saved my bacon!! I then traveled from 11pm that night well into the afternoon of the next day. I believe there was 12 or 13 hours of travel total, and I switched between three planes. It was such a long day!! 

When I got to Chicago and waited outside for the shuttle to take me from the airport to the hotel, I began FREEZING! It was around 20 degrees outside and the wind is so bitter! I now know what it is like when people say the frigid wind "stings" their cheeks. It burns! And your face feels like it'll just freeze off. It was good getting to the hotel and seeing my old friends from my track 1 residency in Orlando, Erika and Madison. We are all members of the same church and get along great. They are both mothers of young children and are super cute. I have really enjoyed sharing a room with them and discussing deep topics with them and feeling valued and heard and important. It's just kind of been like a girls' night sleepover every night :). We stayed inside the first two nights, but we decided to go out Saturday night to the nearby mall. We took a shuttle, and just walking to the shuttle was torturous! I thought I was fine, then we turned a corner and were assaulted by this strong, frigid wind! I'm not very impressed with the big city views. It's not really pretty. It seems overcast most of the time, SUPER cold, and dry. I woke up and had a bloody nose after a couple of nights.

Class has been super helpful. I'm learning so much. We are all taking turns as a therapist and working with a couple or family through the lens of a model, and it is very much a realistic experience. It is so interesting to see the differences in models, what works, how different everyone is, and how there are so many directions pulling you, especially the more people you add as clients! Families are CRAZY! I have a lot to learn and experience I really need to gain, but all in good time! My hour-long roleplay was recorded, and I have to re-watch it sometime this week and write a paper about it, which will be super interesting. I've packed lots of good snacks, and I made sure that they would have food I could eat for breakfast and lunch. I got in good with one of the servers, telling her my anxiety over meals and what I can eat, and she made an exception so I can get a special plate of food that accommodates my food allergies that I can get so I don't have to go through the buffet with limited options and potential for cross-contamination. 

Sunday has been a bit sad because it doesn't really feel like Sunday :(. I wore my nicest dress to honor the Sabbath and have taken time to connect with God today. I'm so glad all the roleplays are finally over. We had TWELVE students in the class, which means four 1-hour-long roleplays in three days. It was emotionally exhausting. And playing a client is so draining too. You have to draw on real emotion, even if the situation is fictional. I have gained so much confidence and wouldn't trade this experience, but I am super excited to be going home tomorrow evening! Chicago is not for me. Too cold!! Yuck! But it's been a valuable experience, and I've been part of some pretty crazy but enlightening role plays.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Single Mom of a Teenager

 7 November - 13 November 2022

I feel like the title of my blog post pretty much sums up my week... kidding! It was such a joy to have the past week and a half alone with Lucy. Lots of bonding as we worked together to keep the house clean, fill our time, tell each other about our days, do things together, and have family prayer day and night. Grandpa fed us both Sundays for dinner, and he would pop on over at least once a day, dropping off the mail and probably checking to make sure we were still alive... haha. There were some more stressful days where I had a LOT to do and felt like I was cleaning up for Lucy on top of it and not able to keep the house as clean as I would have liked, but those moments were few. I usually felt very productive and accomplished as I managed the home along with work and school. 

Some highlights of my week!! Regina Grossarth dropped me off a gift card to In-n-Out Burger because I had helped her with the badminton party. For $25!! That fed me dinner on Wednesday night and then both me and Lucy on Saturday night! I have learned that I am really bad at cooking just for myself, so I averaged 1.5 meals per day this past week... yikes, I know. So that was truly a blessing. I also felt prompted to ask for a priesthood blessing, so I asked if Jasen and his dad could come over. They gave me a blessing Tuesday night after dodgeball, and it was SO needed. What's really cool is that as soon as I even just asked for a blessing, I felt immediate peace, as if they blessing had already happened. I think that was God's way of reassuring me that asking for a blessing was the right thing to do. Then I cried a lot during the blessing. It was so good to hear from Heavenly Father. I gave Jasen and his dad a hug after wiping my eyes and nose with a tissue, and that was that! Also, via text over the next couple of days, we planned a homework party. I invited Jasen over Friday after work to do hw together so we could keep each other accountable. I wasn't sure how it would go, but it was actually very helpful! I got more done than if I had been by myself. Also, he asked if I'd eaten yet and brought food over on his way for us to eat from Costa Vida. Seriously, what a blessing! I'd been so hungry but didn't know what to eat and didn't want to make anything, so I'd decided just to go hungry... and then he offers to pick up lunch! So we ate food, did homework, talked some, then he left. Super chill.

Hmm... let's see what else I did... oh, Friday night was "girl's night" at Amber's house. My coworker Denae came, which was awesome! The first hour was a bit awkward with pauses and stilted conversation, but then I pulled out my game Moods and we all became fast friends, laughing and joking and having a good time. It turned out pretty great after all.

Saturday was my mom's stake women's conference, and I attended with Lucy. Briesa was also there with the baby. I've gotten lots of baby snuggles this week, and I'm really enjoying holding Gracelyn. She has started to snuggle into me. LOVE HER SO MUCH! Anywho, this woman's conference was amazing. We showed up late, but we caught the tail end of one class and then got to attend another class, and I heard and felt amazing things. There was so much spirit and power and insight to be learned from the speakers. Then we had lunch, and they had an entire allergy-friendly table set up! I ate SO much! The salad was super yummy and the soups were good and they had bread and peppermint brownies! And Joy D. Jones was there (she'd spoken at the very beginning, which we missed, but she sat at Briesa's table and help Gracelyn, which I got a picture of. Then, later, when they started cleaning everything up and I was holding the baby, Joy came up to us to say goodbye and gave me and baby a hug). 

Sunday was really good. I made gluten-free corn muffins for our linger longer, and I also taught Relief Society second hour. I did the best I could but didn't feel AMAZING about it, but I got such great feedback. God is good. One sister was visiting and came up to me after and said, "this was the best Relief Society lesson I've been to in a long while." She asked if she could take a picture of my lesson plan to use some of the things we'd talked about for her own ward's Relief Society lesson. CFM went well. I was able to talk to Whitney for a brief moment before I had to hang up because people had started arriving. Jasen came early to help, then Spencer, Blake, Justin, and Derek came soon after! We had it outside, and I had the chairs around the fire pit. There was a nacho and hot chocolate bar. I loved that everyone was super chatty and getting along, but it was harder to focus and discuss the lesson, but I still think it was a success. Then three people stayed late after everyone else left and chatted for an hour/hour and a half in my kitchen while I listened in and cleaned up. Finally I had to kick them out so I could shower and get ready for bed (and to write this blog post while I wait for it to be time to go pick my parents up from the airport). Moral of my week: I've heard God a lot this week and had some pretty great insights and revelation. Also, I love the gospel and church, and I'm SO grateful for my friend group. 

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Halloween Party and Crepe Bar

 31 October - 6 November 2022

Halloween night was the big, epic party! Valerie and Lucy spent weeks planning and prepping for the mad scientist escape room! We set up outside with food: nacho bar, cookies, fruit/veggie platters. And all the carnival games! The escape room was in the motorhome and everyone who went LOVED it! They said it was so professional. I dressed up as Katniss from Hunger Games (not that I really like the movies that much, but it made for a convenient last-minute and cozy costume). Valerie made my day when she saw me and said, "You're prettier than the actress that plays Katniss!" My mom is truly amazing! She did so much to prep and make sure it was a huge success. Not to mention my amazing sisters. Wow, I feel so blessed by my family. Anyway, my favorite part of the night was playing the carnival games with my friend Jasen and seeing his reaction when I kept "beating" him (he was doing super well himself, but he loves to exaggerate how bad he is and over-emphasize how good you are. He's the ultimate hype-man). We stayed up late cleaning everything up and Jasen stayed to help. What a pal!

Bright and early Tuesday morning, I dropped my parents off at the airport. Well, my dad drove us all there, then I drove the car home. They're off to Costa Rica for two weeks!! That evening, I went to stake dodgeball and did pretty well. I impressed Brother Keadle! It was a good time :)

I finally got my internship application submitted (I had to email Michele and tell her I was becoming anxious about it as the deadline approached, and she came through for me, which was a huge relief and answer to prayer). I am so excited (and a bit anxious) to start my internship in two months! I feel both ready and unprepared. There are certain aspects that I feel ready to jump on in at, but others that I still feel clueless about, but I know it'll all come with time and practice. It's been hard to focus on getting school done because I'm getting tired of school work that doesn't seem applicable or relevant... I'm ESPECIALLY sick and tired of writing essays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blah. But I just need to hang in there! The end is in sight!! When I graduate, Imma throw a BIG party to celebrate NO MORE ESSAYS!!!! Haha... :)

Anyway, on Thursday, Regina came by in the afternoon to start setting up for the badminton party that would take place in our backyard. I helped out quite a bit with things, then left during the party so I could go to institute, where I ate WWAAAAYYY too many donuts (gluten and dairy free, of course) and had fun socializing with people. I'd been feeling pretty anxious and restless throughout the week. It was awful. Friday night was the worst. I was literally so anxious that I went to pull weeds outside at the canal... but only after collapsing onto my bed and crying/yelling into my blanket for a couple minutes. I just didn't know what to do with myself. Looking back, it was a combination of many things, and one of them being loneliness. But I'm so glad for the tender mercy moments when I felt peace and rest. When Lucy got home from work, I came inside and told her that she needed to save me from myself. I asked if we could paint, and she spontaneously invited over some friends and we had a fun painting night and then watched the movie Inspired Guns. Awww yeah! (But the mess... Ahhh noo!!!! lol).

Saturday was good. I went to the ward temple trip in the morning and felt calm and peaceful in the session. In fact, my body was so exhausted from feeling anxious all the time that when the lights dimmed and I was so relaxed, I have to fight so hard to stay awake!! But I did :). Haha, I even printed off my own family name to use, but then I accidentally left it in the car! Whoops. I finally finished one of my four essays I need to do before I leave to Chicago. I cleaned up around the house. And then Lucy and I played pickleball in the evening with Jasen and Marissa, two former tennis players. Yeah, we got toasted. Oh well!

Sunday was fabulous! I woke up feel "eh" and Lucy asked if I wanted to do some yoga with her, so I agreed. She had the fake candles lit and the oil humidifier going and this peaceful music with nature sounds. It was a relaxing atmosphere and helped wash away my anxiety so I felt peace and courage to go about my day. I really felt the spirit at church during testimony meeting. I went and bore my testimony about the Savior. He truly finds more joy in us than we realize, and it is His sacred honor and earned-duty to mourn with us and empathize with us in our low moments. It doesn't cause Him suffering, but the ability to bond and ease our burdens through empathizing means the world to him. We had a good discussion in Sunday School, and I realized the powerful truth that I am willing to make sacrifices for the people I love that I wouldn't even make for just myself. That is why community and friends and family are so so important. They give us the strength and motivation to be better people, to grow and aspire to be more. I decided to do a crazy thing and make a CREPE BAR for CFM treat! I started prepping toppings before dinner. Grandpa Jim made us Sunday dinner! It was so sweet of him to take care of us like that. He made us chicken strips, potato salad, and biscuits. I made a salad. Then after I got to making crepes and was running a little behind schedule, but fortunately Jasen showed up fifteen minutes early so he was able to help me get the supplies over the grandpa's and make crepes. Then Justin showed up 10 minutes early and was able to help set up the chairs!! We may have started a little bit late, but everyone was so excited about the crepe bar and were really socializing and stuff, so WORTH IT!! Then I asked Jasen to lead out CFM while I made more crepes at grandpa's stove and listened. We had a huge turn out and great involvement and discussions. Pretty much everyone spoke up and we had some sincere struggles and questions come up. It was amazing! Then six people stayed after to help clean up and play games. We played Moods, which everyone said they really loved!! We had a great time, and I'm so grateful that this friend group is coming together. It's been trial and error with inviting people and seeing which ones actually come and then which ones stick around, but we're getting a pretty steady group coming and we're becoming closer together, which I love!! Some highlights of the night were watching everyone chat and enjoy each others company and that I had a great conversation with Jasen. We were talking about something and then Angela asked, "Are you to related? Brother and sister or cousins?" I said, "No, we're just friends" at the same time that Jasen said, "No, she's my best friend." It warmed my heart to hear that because it's been a hard and lonely year with me trying so so hard to make friends. Jasen explained, "When I first came to the YSA ward, she was so friendly and invited me to come to CFM and has just been the nicest person ever." I am always nice to people, but I often to get to hear the impact it has on people or it seems to go unnoticed or unappreciated. Then after everyone left, Jasen also stayed to help clean up over at my house, doing all the dishes. I was so so grateful! And I feel so much peace about being friends and not having to worry about anything else. Lucy loved the leftover crepes. Unfortunately for her, she stubbed her toe on a rock on the way to grandpa's house for dinner and has been hobbling around ever since. It's been cool to spend so much one-on-one time with her. I've tried being a substitute-mom for her, making sure we pray morning and night and read some scriptures. I help with meals and listen to her rant about her day and offer support and encouragement and hugs. She's been a lot nicer to me this past week, more vocal about her love and appreciation for me and also initiating physical touch (but probably because she just really misses mom, who is usually the only one she'll hug). I also got to hold Gracelyn a lot and my absolute favorite moments were when she smiled SO big at me and Lucy this week. It happened twice, where Briesa walked in carrying her in the car seat and put her down. She was wide away, so we went over to say hi and when she saw us, she started giving us the biggest smiles and some laughs and even a squeal! Wow, be still, my heart! That gave me so much joy to see!!

Awwwwwww!

She often sleeps with her hands on or near her face.

Every baby was Kung Fu fighting...

And just an adorable pic grandpa sent me this week that I wanna include.

Much love,

Emily Burnham