Emily Burnham: Halloween Party and Crepe Bar

31 October - 6 November 2022

Halloween night was the big, epic party! Valerie and Lucy spent weeks planning and prepping for the mad scientist escape room! We set up outside with food: nacho bar, cookies, fruit/veggie platters. And all the carnival games! The escape room was in the motorhome and everyone who went LOVED it! They said it was so professional. I dressed up as Katniss from Hunger Games (not that I really like the movies that much, but it made for a convenient last-minute and cozy costume). Valerie made my day when she saw me and said, "You're prettier than the actress that plays Katniss!" My mom is truly amazing! She did so much to prep and make sure it was a huge success. Not to mention my amazing sisters. Wow, I feel so blessed by my family. Anyway, my favorite part of the night was playing the carnival games with my friend Jasen and seeing his reaction when I kept "beating" him (he was doing super well himself, but he loves to exaggerate how bad he is and over-emphasize how good you are. He's the ultimate hype-man). We stayed up late cleaning everything up and Jasen stayed to help. What a pal!

Bright and early Tuesday morning, I dropped my parents off at the airport. Well, my dad drove us all there, then I drove the car home. They're off to Costa Rica for two weeks!! That evening, I went to stake dodgeball and did pretty well. I impressed Brother Keadle! It was a good time :)

I finally got my internship application submitted (I had to email Michele and tell her I was becoming anxious about it as the deadline approached, and she came through for me, which was a huge relief and answer to prayer). I am so excited (and a bit anxious) to start my internship in two months! I feel both ready and unprepared. There are certain aspects that I feel ready to jump on in at, but others that I still feel clueless about, but I know it'll all come with time and practice. It's been hard to focus on getting school done because I'm getting tired of school work that doesn't seem applicable or relevant... I'm ESPECIALLY sick and tired of writing essays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blah. But I just need to hang in there! The end is in sight!! When I graduate, Imma throw a BIG party to celebrate NO MORE ESSAYS!!!! Haha... :)

Anyway, on Thursday, Regina came by in the afternoon to start setting up for the badminton party that would take place in our backyard. I helped out quite a bit with things, then left during the party so I could go to institute, where I ate WWAAAAYYY too many donuts (gluten and dairy free, of course) and had fun socializing with people. I'd been feeling pretty anxious and restless throughout the week. It was awful. Friday night was the worst. I was literally so anxious that I went to pull weeds outside at the canal... but only after collapsing onto my bed and crying/yelling into my blanket for a couple minutes. I just didn't know what to do with myself. Looking back, it was a combination of many things, and one of them being loneliness. But I'm so glad for the tender mercy moments when I felt peace and rest. When Lucy got home from work, I came inside and told her that she needed to save me from myself. I asked if we could paint, and she spontaneously invited over some friends and we had a fun painting night and then watched the movie Inspired Guns. Awww yeah! (But the mess... Ahhh noo!!!! lol).

Saturday was good. I went to the ward temple trip in the morning and felt calm and peaceful in the session. In fact, my body was so exhausted from feeling anxious all the time that when the lights dimmed and I was so relaxed, I have to fight so hard to stay awake!! But I did :). Haha, I even printed off my own family name to use, but then I accidentally left it in the car! Whoops. I finally finished one of my four essays I need to do before I leave to Chicago. I cleaned up around the house. And then Lucy and I played pickleball in the evening with Jasen and Marissa, two former tennis players. Yeah, we got toasted. Oh well!

Sunday was fabulous! I woke up feel "eh" and Lucy asked if I wanted to do some yoga with her, so I agreed. She had the fake candles lit and the oil humidifier going and this peaceful music with nature sounds. It was a relaxing atmosphere and helped wash away my anxiety so I felt peace and courage to go about my day. I really felt the spirit at church during testimony meeting. I went and bore my testimony about the Savior. He truly finds more joy in us than we realize, and it is His sacred honor and earned-duty to mourn with us and empathize with us in our low moments. It doesn't cause Him suffering, but the ability to bond and ease our burdens through empathizing means the world to him. We had a good discussion in Sunday School, and I realized the powerful truth that I am willing to make sacrifices for the people I love that I wouldn't even make for just myself. That is why community and friends and family are so so important. They give us the strength and motivation to be better people, to grow and aspire to be more. I decided to do a crazy thing and make a CREPE BAR for CFM treat! I started prepping toppings before dinner. Grandpa Jim made us Sunday dinner! It was so sweet of him to take care of us like that. He made us chicken strips, potato salad, and biscuits. I made a salad. Then after I got to making crepes and was running a little behind schedule, but fortunately Jasen showed up fifteen minutes early so he was able to help me get the supplies over the grandpa's and make crepes. Then Justin showed up 10 minutes early and was able to help set up the chairs!! We may have started a little bit late, but everyone was so excited about the crepe bar and were really socializing and stuff, so WORTH IT!! Then I asked Jasen to lead out CFM while I made more crepes at grandpa's stove and listened. We had a huge turn out and great involvement and discussions. Pretty much everyone spoke up and we had some sincere struggles and questions come up. It was amazing! Then six people stayed after to help clean up and play games. We played Moods, which everyone said they really loved!! We had a great time, and I'm so grateful that this friend group is coming together. It's been trial and error with inviting people and seeing which ones actually come and then which ones stick around, but we're getting a pretty steady group coming and we're becoming closer together, which I love!! Some highlights of the night were watching everyone chat and enjoy each others company and that I had a great conversation with Jasen. We were talking about something and then Angela asked, "Are you to related? Brother and sister or cousins?" I said, "No, we're just friends" at the same time that Jasen said, "No, she's my best friend." It warmed my heart to hear that because it's been a hard and lonely year with me trying so so hard to make friends. Jasen explained, "When I first came to the YSA ward, she was so friendly and invited me to come to CFM and has just been the nicest person ever." I am always nice to people, but I often to get to hear the impact it has on people or it seems to go unnoticed or unappreciated. Then after everyone left, Jasen also stayed to help clean up over at my house, doing all the dishes. I was so so grateful! And I feel so much peace about being friends and not having to worry about anything else. Lucy loved the leftover crepes. Unfortunately for her, she stubbed her toe on a rock on the way to grandpa's house for dinner and has been hobbling around ever since. It's been cool to spend so much one-on-one time with her. I've tried being a substitute-mom for her, making sure we pray morning and night and read some scriptures. I help with meals and listen to her rant about her day and offer support and encouragement and hugs. She's been a lot nicer to me this past week, more vocal about her love and appreciation for me and also initiating physical touch (but probably because she just really misses mom, who is usually the only one she'll hug). I also got to hold Gracelyn a lot and my absolute favorite moments were when she smiled SO big at me and Lucy this week. It happened twice, where Briesa walked in carrying her in the car seat and put her down. She was wide away, so we went over to say hi and when she saw us, she started giving us the biggest smiles and some laughs and even a squeal! Wow, be still, my heart! That gave me so much joy to see!!