Boating and Wake Surfing

 24 July - 30 July 2023

Highlights of this past week!

I went on a boating trip with my activities committee. Three other young adults were able to make it, plus our high councilman, who had the boat we all went on. This was my second time going boating that I can actually remember in my entire life. The only other time was a youth trip when I was in young womens. We did wake surfing, and it took me a lot of tries. We all took turns going, and we got around 30 to 40 minutes each total, but maybe only chunks of 10 min rounds. So on my third round (which was like 20 failed attempts later), I was actually able to get up on the surfboard! It happened three, maybe four times! But I didn't stay up long or know what I was doing once I did get up. But hey, the important thing was: I GOT UP! For the first time ever! And it was SO rewarding! I'm so grateful for the support of my committee members and their encouragement to keep going past the point where I would have given up on my own. I also am proud that I buckled down on Saturday and wrote my 8-page essay, went to the temple, took my three-hour practice exam, AND managed to eat actual meals! It was exhausting and a lot, but I did it, had an overall okay and peaceful day, and was able to do all of this without too much need to force myself. I had a spiritual morning on Sunday, just listening to the "Faith is Not Blind" book where they talk about not having faith with expectations of what God will do or that He will answer you in a certain way, but having faith without stipulations or expectations and being okay with being uncomfortable and not getting the answers and keep trusting in God and doing the things you need to do anyway. I had been praying for clarity about a certain topic, really struggling with not knowing or having a clear answer, and basically begging or demanding an answer and clarity, to make sense of my emotions, and in that moment of listening, I realized what I was doing and expecting, and I told God, "Hey, I don't know how to handle this or what the answer is or how I should respond or react, and I'm okay with not knowing right now. I'm going to choose to trust you and just keep doing what I know is right--going to church, serving--and when these feelings come up that are really uncomfortable and have been driving me crazy, I'm going to acknowledge them and that they are hard to feel and not comfortable, but that's okay and I can keep moving forward anyway. That was a really tender and special moment I had with God that carried me forth to church.

Gracey-pants (her parents current favorite nickname for her) loves her walks!

Brother Nevitt in the background, showing us all up with his skills!

 Gracelyn in her prime element. She loves the swing and looks SO content!

Me at ward choir! Was trying to take a picture of the board and had it on selfie mode, and all the girls behind me were like, "You should take a picture!!!" hahaha

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Kimberly's Baptism

17 July - 23 July 2023

This past week, I've eaten lots of junk food and not enough healthy food, so my body was not the happiest with me, but my mental health was still (fortunately) really well and I had some amazing breakthroughs with clients. I met with a couple for 2.5 hours and it was two hours in that the wife had a breakthrough to her primary emotion of fear that has been driving beliefs and actions that have contributed to the presenting problem, and that was HUGE! I've actually been feeling like a competent therapist. Definitely not feeling like I know everything, but I think I'm becoming more comfortable with my role of perpetually not knowing, and of continuing to be curious and guide the clients to their own answers and solutions. I get to be the expert on helping them be the expert; I get to be the expert in genuine curiosity and acceptance. I've been living under this pressure to know exactly what I'm doing and feeling immensely inadequate and unsure, which has negatively impacted my sessions in the past, but I've been able to see past those false beliefs and have grown more comfortable with what I do, what is actually expected of me, and the impact I reasonably have on people--my demeanor and compassion and curiosity will impact them more than any words or teachings I can say. 

My friend Kimberly Smith got baptized Sunday morning! She lives in our ward boundaries, but her coworker goes to a different ward and she became more comfortable going with him there, so she was baptized into that ward instead. But I still had the honor and privilege of attending tons of her lessons, and she shared with me what a big influence I've had on her conversion story, which was so nice to hear because you really just don't know. I've worked hard to be there for her and testify and have felt the Spirit with her in lessons and invited her to things and have hung out, and I'm grateful that she appreciated my efforts and they touched her. Her baptism was beautiful and well attended! They had to put up an extra row of chairs during the first half because there were so many people. Her mom and step-dad both came and enjoyed the services, which was a huge answer to prayers, as her mom had been sending her anti stuff the two+ weeks leading up to her baptism. Kimberly asked me to give the closing prayer because she said she loves my prayers, that I give the best prayers from anyone she's ever heard, which also really touched my heart (and hey, no pressure, right?). Haha, I didn't feel tons of pressure. I just prayed to know in my heart what to say and the words came easily because prayer is really just me talking to my Heavenly Father, asking for blessings for those there and expressing gratitude to Him for what He has done in our lives. It was a beautiful ceremony and Kimberly looked overcome with joy and happiness. 

Therapy has made me hyperaware of a lot of my inadequacies and shortcomings, but it is also helping me more readily recognize my strengths and power. I am honored to be able to work on improving myself each day, focusing on the joy that comes as a gift from following Jesus Christ and trusting in Him to work out all the shortcomings and turn them into something great that will benefit myself and others instead of being sad or disappointed or embarrassed or defensive about my shortcomings. I can be comfortable with all the parts of who I am, which will empower me to do great work for the Lord while He makes up for my inadequacies AND turns them into strength.

The other exciting thing that happened this week is that I was able to film a follow-up video to the Sound of Freedom reaction one I posted last week, which had received SO many views and hits. I got over 270k views and over 1,000 subscribers from it. I asked my supervisor to help me film a follow-up video on how everyone can help, and then I spent the weekend editing them and just posted them today (one on my channel, one on the CLEAR Counseling channel) and I hope they take off as well and make a difference. I felt so blessed because it takes people almost a year to get that many subscribers and views, and it's only been 3 months for me. The Lord really has blessed me and gifted me with this because I've been wanting to do a therapy channel for years and finally got around to doing it at the end of April, committing to posting content, and I got around 20 to 50 views on my videos, but now with that one video I did, my views have increased, and for me, it's not about being famous; it's about reaching the right people with the messages I'm so passionate about sharing to help the world become a better place. And now I get to start doing that! Not to mention, I'm SO close to meeting the criteria to get monetized, which blew my mind because that typically takes a year after starting a channel. My videos already show ads, but I don't get paid for them, but hopefully in the next 2 days, I will meet the criteria, and what an extra blessing any income would be in helping me pay for schooling and start doing the things I want to do to make an impact in the world without overstressing about finances (not that I expect to make a lot of money at all, but it was like a nod from God saying He sees me and my financial worries and has my back). 

This was me looking cute on Friday for the video we filmed :)

Kimberly's baptism program! See me all the way at the bottom? ;)

Here is an inspirational quote for the week :)

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Kinda Viral

10 July - 16 July 2023 

Hello world,

I am happy to report that I am feeling and doing a lot better this week. This past week has had its ups and downs (such is life, right?), but the best thing has been hearing God speak to me, giving me inspiration and knowledge and turning bitter experiences into sweet lessons and hopeful futures. I'm hyperaware of my weaknesses and shortcomings thanks to my profession as a therapist, but I don't need to get bogged down in them. I realized I overthink about the things I do wrong and am more hyperaware than the average person, but this isn't because I have more "problems" or "issues" than them, I'm just conscious and aware of them because I'm working on them and paying attention to how they impact the people around me. Others have issues and problems (weaknesses and flaws) too, but they push them aside, ignore them, or don't seek them out. And so I've been feeling like a mess when I feel my weaknesses so acutely and others are acting all normal and confident, and then when I bring up a weakness (which I really don't need to because it's my responsibility to work on it, not explain it to any and everyone), and then the people don't relate or share their struggles (because that's not what is on their mind or what they want to think about), then I feel this need to prove that I'm normal and not crazy or problematic, or to justify myself. It's been so insightful to learn how to work through this, finding balance between taking responsibility for your actions and your part in causing problems in relationships, but also of self-grace and forgiveness and compartmentalizing when you feel your weaknesses acutely and when you can be confident. Because in front of clients is not appropriate to have a self-doubt meltdown or be so caught up in your own anxiety that you are not helpful and effective. But there are times for that in personal scripture study and in supervision, and I need to stop treating every person and circumstance like it's supervision. Also, I have realized that I try to say things for a "shock" effect to hook attention and get people to listen to me, because I still have an insecurity that people don't like listening to me, and I'm hyperaware of the times they don't and it adds to this narrative I've been telling myself for years. But I'm not realizing the power I've given to that narrative and that I can take that power away by telling myself a new narrative and searching for the evidence to back it up--that people do love talking with me and listening to me and respect what I have to say and that I don't have to fight to be heard. And there are plenty of encounters that can back up that story. And if someone truly does treat me like I'm not worth listening to, let that be the exception, and let that be a reflection on them and who they are, not on me and who I am. Do I think about things so deeply? Yes. Is that what most people do? No. But maybe they should. I don't know. But hey, if it works, it works. That's what I personally need to process things and be able to track my progress and development, and I can't see it being any other way. And others can do it their way. What is important is that we are all experiencing growth, feelings of joy from God, and hearing His feedback and guidance regularly. On Monday, I had an enjoyable evening at FHE playing ping-pong and hanging with my friend Kimberly and the sister missionaries. Tuesday night, I went to stake volleyball and had a surprisingly super fun evening. I felt so much more like myself, free to dance and sing and interact with people and cheer people on and just be light-hearted. On Wednesday, I had a gap after work where I could go home because my afternoon clients had canceled and I didn't have clients until 6pm, and then it lasted 2 hours, and I didn't get home until 9pm. Thursday evening, I had the choir pool party. I just went for the practice and didn't stay long afterward. It was so hot outside and I didn't want to swim, so I just went home. In my free time this week, I've been designing digital stickers for fun. Stickers I think people I know will like, and it's been really fun because it's low pressure but creative and once you make it, you'll always have it, and I can maybe even make money off of it if my work wants to use any of them to sell them. It's incredibly shocking how long it takes me to make one, but I am getting faster and learning different things that are making me better at using Adobe Illustrator. On Friday, I didn't have any clients, just a staff meeting (lunch was provided) and then supervision. I had a lot of tough client cases that I needed to talk about. For whatever reason, (probably my hypersensitivity to my own flaws and weaknesses feeding into my insecurities about being a good therapist), I've been struggling with my clients, not feeling like I know what to do or that I know what I'm doing period. After that, I recorded a video of me meeting Kimberly and commenting on her journey for her baptism. I also recorded another long video to put up on YouTube. The short video I made earlier in the week about my reaction to watching The Sound of Freedom went pretty viral! It's because it is such a hot topic, but I didn't have hashtags or a good cover, I just posted it midweek and forgot about it, then went to look three days later and had 9.3k views, and then within another 24 hours, I had 24k views and my subscribers have quadrupled since before I posted the video. So... wow. That's kinda nice to not have to work so hard to get the views and exposure. I want people to watch my videos! I want people to find my content helpful and I want to make an impact in this world, but it's been discouraging when I put so much effort into filming and editing and then I get a handful of views. So now I know the secret... talk about "hot topics" and you get views... I guess. That wasn't even my intention with the video I made. I just really felt like I wanted to do something more after watching Sound of Freedom, and I struggled to know what I could do and was pondering ways I could use what I do have to make a difference, and I shared it in a video, encouraging others to do the same, and I honestly didn't expect it to get many views. Probably like 20 to 50 views, which is the range my other videos got. Which, it's nice when your personal passions align with hot topics, but it's another thing if you don't want to chase down popular and trending topics to speak on and you just want to do your own thing and hope people are also interested in it. I don't want to have to chase down topics that are trending and comment on them; that's not where my passion lies. But I do want to keep making meaningful and inspiring content. On Saturday, I went to the temple and coincidentally had picked out the time a lady from my home family ward was going through the temple, so without coordinating it, I showed up and Val and my mom were there too! I had a girls night that evening, and we played Moods, ate snacks, and watched Legally Blonde. It was a good, refreshing time. Sunday, let me just say I looked absolutely gorgeous and got complimented on my hair and the color of my dress (two girls told me it was "my color" at church). I felt the spirit strong during Sunday school and socialized with lots of people. So it was a really good day! Oh, and also this week, I went through my old journals and letters and stuff and it was such an uplifting and heartening experience to remember things from my childhood and hear such incredible things from friends and family.

Here's me looking super cute on Sunday July 9th for church:

Here are some comments left on my channel:

Much love,

Emily Burnham

The Juggle is Real

 26 June - 9 July 2023

Let me take some time to reflect over some life lessons and struggles I've experienced these past two weeks. The first one warrants a bit of background: one of my biggest struggles has been food, ever since getting diagnosed with my food allergies at the age of 17, I've had periods of time where I hate eating and other times where I've been fine. Sometimes I undereat or overeat, and sometimes I eat unhealthy foods that hurt my stomach or not buying enough food to eat because I worry about how much food costs. So I have this struggle, and it's been getting lots better with time, but still rears its ugly head every once in a while. This past week was one of those times. Lately, I've been doing so good with making sure to eat whole foods, nutritious things that are good for me and follow my dietary restrictions and taking lots of vitamins. But then I stopped for a week and was undereating (and it's not my mom's fault AT ALL because I need to take care of myself, but when my mom doesn't cook regular meals, that's when I stop eating regularly, but no worries because we've come up with a game plan and I'll be taking more active steps in planning and making my own meals) and anyways, it really messed me up and made it so I was in survival mode and unable to handle life's stressors as well. As I was looking over my course list and seeing all the assignments and work required of me, on top of the time and effort I need to put into studying for and passing my exam, on top of fitting everything else in with clients and my calling, I became exceedingly overwhelmed to the point of tears. Granted, I also hadn't eaten anything yet that day, and it was around noon. I'd not eaten well the past couple of days, not intaking enough calories. I've lost around 10 pounds in the last couple of weeks. My mom helped me see and realize how I needed to prioritize feeding myself and then afterwards I can deal with the other stressors better. It's almost like my brain chemistry gets off or something, because I cannot think as rationally, it's harder to interact socially, and it's easier to stress and obsess about things that I thought I had a handle on. For example, I've been crushing on this guy but it has been single-sided, so I have been working to get over it and feel more healthy and secure in my relationship with myself. After months of distance and some clarity, I was really able to get in a better place of not thinking about him as much. When I next ran into him after working some things out, I didn't freak out, my heart didn't race, and I wasn't devastated or crushed that he didn't really talk to me. I felt at peace about things and wasn't obsessed or worrying about what he thought of me... but then after a week of not eating well, I'm not only overwhelmed with school and my stake calling, but I'm suddenly really bothered and hurt by this guy, feeling like I'm all the way back to square one in my attempts to healthily get over him. So, all of that is to say that my mental and emotional and physical health are all heavily influenced by my diet and how/what I eat, and that I am really going to need to take a step back from everything else and prioritize eating nutritious, regular meals instead of getting sucked into worrying about other things or prioritizing other things and forgetting to eat or purposefully skipping meals. Because the truth is, I'm not going through anything unique. I'm simply going through an uncomfortable stage in my life, and I just have to deal with the disappointment and manage my feelings, reigning them in as needed, but just giving myself a lot of grace and reassurance and kindness as I work through this phase, because I can't force my feelings away. But I can keep striving to find things to be grateful for and fulfillment in my individual life, not focusing on those feelings or building unrealistic expectations. And hey, I trust God to work all of this out for my good. He is the master of time and knows the best timing for me and for my future spouse, and I'm learning that there truly is beauty in the waiting for something because as you start to feel its absence and yearn for it, you're less likely to take it for granted when you finally get it, and you're more likely to cherish it and treat it special. This goes with waiting for a spouse or waiting to have a child. Even though the sense of loss and yearning can be painful in the moment, it sets you up for a brighter and more gratitude-filled future.

Now for some highlights of the past two weeks! We went on the Burnham campout, and while I rediscovered that I'm not the biggest camper, I am grateful for the memories I got to make with my family members. I did get to ride around on my dad's quad, and we saw the most epic firework show in Heber! I also got to spend lots of time with baby Gracelyn!

We also had FHE at a trampoline park June 26th and I jumped SO high on those tramps! I had to be careful though because my knee is still recovering. It's now been two weeks and my knee is looking better, but still has lots of healing to do. 

Believe it or not, this is some great progress in healing:

Also, my new hobby is making stickers! Not quite like Lucy, though. She brought up a sheet of sticker paper and has really enjoyed coloring and making these beautiful masterpieces. I'm talking more about the design side of it, where I am coming up with different ideas and creating them in illustrator so we can print and market and sell them to clients! Plus, I can make some personalized designs for me and friends for free ;). So far, one of them is a saying with a picture of three juggling balls that says, "The juggle is real." And I find that SO relatable right now, because the struggle is real with everything I'm trying to juggle, but I'm hanging in there and making the most of it. And the best part is I don't have to do it alone. God is so merciful and full of grace and loves to swoop in to remind me that He is there, that He loves me and can heal me and strengthen me to keep going.

OH! AND I ALMOST FORGOT MY HAPPY MOMENT OF THE WEEK!! So my friend Kimberly is getting baptized!! I found that out while I was at the trampoline park place. She had texted me! But, just recently, she asked me to give the closing prayer at her baptism. I told her I was surprised she hadn't asked me to give a talk (jokingly) and she said, "I thought about it, but I absolutely love your prayers. You say the best prayers!" That made me feel so good :):):) (insert a million more happy smiley face emojis). 

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Retro 80s Skate Party!

12 June - 25 June 2023

Wow, okay, so I missed a week for the first time in over a year... but no sweat. This is a place for me to document and journal about life events that I want to remember, plus a fun way to look at photos and revisit the memories associated with them. I've had a lot of time for self-reflection these past couple of weeks, and it amazes me how much I truly do not know and cannot comprehend. It sure keeps me humble. So just a quick update on the week before this last week: the guy I'd gone on one date with was sending off so many red flags and bad feelings, so I courteously let him know I was no longer interested in going on dates or spending time together. I had some help from my wonderful older sister to word it nice and make it more palatable to receive, cuz y'all know me, and I'm super blunt. It's not that I take pride in that, but complete honesty is so important to me, and so I like to be honest, and sometimes it can come across difficult to hear. I'm still working on my tact :). But thank goodness for older sisters who are geniuses at drafting up the perfect response to send. Seriously, a friend told me to patent that response to give out to people to use when they are not interested in a guy 😅. Anywho, I've also been spending a lot of time attending missionary lessons for my new friend Kimberly, which has been great. I love being involved with missionary work and having opportunities to bear testimony and share my experiences. Work has been super busy as we've been working on replacing over 200 agents' signs with new designs on top of our regular work. I've also been learning to master the sticker machines, making cut lines. It's been pretty neat! On Friday, I had a good heart-to-heart discussion with my supervisor about how making deep connections with others are difficult and how I often don't feel heard. We discussed how rare it is to make really good, life-long, deep friendships and connections, and how we often just have to meet people where they are at and can go through periods of loneliness when we don't have the deep connections we want. I've experienced that a lot before, but those feelings were exceedingly tender in that moment and it was comforting to hear that it's a normal struggle that I'm not alone in, that it's not a "just me" problem. On Saturday, my sisters and I decorated stickers. I hated seeing all the sticker paper scraps go to waste, so I took them home and ordered Sharpies to try to create custom stickers for fun with Lucy before she goes off to college, and us three sisters had a blast making them! Lucy's alcohol markers worked SUPER well. I think it's an art idea I'm going to incorporate into therapy sessions with clients.

This past week, I went to Kimberly's house on Monday to hang with her and the sister missionaries for a bit, and she showed us her Irish dancing moves, which was cool. We made potato cars to race at FHE that evening, which was actually super fun! We had a huge turnout, and I ended up getting fourth place! Which is incredible when you consider that I was going to quit and give up at one point in the making of the car. The wheel placement is SO tricky! And Lucy, the Goomba, named her car "Loser" and won the whole thing! My car was named Ron Weasley, in case you were wondering ;). On Tuesday afternoon, I did initiatories at the temple, and then the elders were over for dinner (a last-minute plan), so I ate with them but then had to leave for a lesson at the church building with Kimberly, where we discussed the Law of Chastity and eternal marriage. Thursday evening was Giselle's bridal shower, and Valerie did a marvelous job setting up and decorating for it at our house. She was so pleasantly surprised. I left early to go meet with a bishop about what I do as a therapist... so, I'd messaged 55 bishops from different wards in the valley, letting them know I'm an LDS counselor and that I'd love to meet or talk with them. I gave them my profile link and contact info. So far, I've heard back from three bishops, and one of them wanted to meet up. So that was pretty cool. We'll see if I actually get any clients from it, though. Who knows?! (Well, God, obviously, but you know what I mean). I helped clean the church Friday night, polishing the wood in the chapel, which was quite a bit dusty! On Saturday, I took dad out to lunch for Thai food as his Father's Day present. He ordered SPICY food, and we shared, so my mouth was on FiRe! But it was still yummy. That evening, I left to set up the photobooth for the stake skate night, which went super well. Not as many people used the photobooth as I expected, but a lot of people did grab stickers! And skating was super fun. I have a new-found love for my rollerblades. I tried the rental blades at the rink just to compare (since skate rental was free) and mine are SO MUCH BETTER. SO much. So yeah. Always good to be humbled and feel grateful for what you have :). Although, my pride did get the best of me that night because I decided I didn't need to bring my knee pads or wrist guards, and sure enough, I got a gnarly bruise on my knee and slightly sprained/twisted my wrist. Oh well. At least I was looking SUPER cute that night! I did such a good job on my hair and makeup, and got lots of compliments on my eyeshadow (don't worry, I'll include LOTS of pictures below). My knee is pretty swollen and bruised still, but at least I'm still alive and walking! Sunday was long because I had an 8:30am extended ward council meeting, plus two meetings after church for FHE and the Stake Activities Committee (which I ran and it went super well. I printed out agendas, brought sticker paper and makers for people to color during it, and also brought treats!). Oh yeah, and Lucy and mom drove up to Utah on Friday morning to get Lucy settled in at BYU. The one perk of that is now I get to move the storage boxes that have been sitting in my room into her room, hehe. So now I have more space in my room and it looks less cluttered.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

She is interacting with us so much more! I love it!

Lots of snacks at our staff meeting on Friday! Aww yeah!

Can you guess who drew what?? Val drew most of them, actually. Lucy did the gorgeous desert sunset and I did the "Stick With Us" cacti and the rose.

For my morning exercise, I walked towards Aaron and Brie's apartment. I was only a couple of minutes away when my mom said they stopped by the house with the baby! So I took a picture of exhausted disappointment and then hurried home... but I missed them by seven minutes!! Haha, so no baby time for me that day, but at least I got a good workout!

Me, Kimberly, and some other dude whose name I forgot after the Law of Chasity lesson. If you look close, you can spot the sisters in the car behind my head XD.

Dad and Emmy lunch date :)

Ooh, look at the glittery eye shadow!!

Kimberly, me, and Amron! We had two catastrophic takes before this one because I decided to push the self-countdown button and then rush into the photo... but I was the only one wearing skates. So I almost knocked us all down like dominos as I tried to roll into the photo on time before having the genius idea to have someone else push the button 😂😂😂

Me and my stake activities co-chair, Cameron. We've become such good friends and I'm sad to be losing him soon because he's going back out on his mission!

Grandpa Jim cooked dad and me dinner since mom and the others were out of town in Utah. He said he didn't want us to starve (because apparently we don't know how to cook meals on our own XD).

The sisters picked up the Irish dancing pretty quickly! I was a superb audience member ;)

Everyone who came to Giselle's bridal shower:

LOL I just noticed how it looks like a girl's head is peeping over the top of the backdrop!

My beautifully bruised knee😅 It looks worse in person, I promise.

New Friends!

 5 June - 11 June 2023

Surprise, surprise. Another week has passed and I don't feel in the mood to write about it... haha. SO. Here is to jotting down the most important things :). 

Monday, I went on a lunch date with a guy from church, and everything that COULD go wrong, went wrong! But it was still a good time ;). So, we met up at Thai Chili 2 Go (yes, my new obsession, #sorrynotsorry) and while he was paying for our orders, I went to fill up the water cups... except for the water button somehow got jammed and I could NOT get it to turn off! So the tray beneath is QUICKLY filling up with water, and all my jiggling is doing nada, so I have to wave down a worker from the back to go fix it. Then, while that fiasco was going on, apparently his card wasn't working, so I ended up paying for us (which was fine, but poor guy felt super bad). So, whew, we got all the embarrassing stuff out of the way, and can enjoy our food now, right? Wrong! Because then after a couple of bites, my nose starts bleeding! And like, BLEEDING bleeding (guess those Thai spices really got my sinuses going? Idk, haha) so I'm in the bathroom and it's not lookin' like it's gonna stop anytime soon, so I grab lots of tissues and go back out to at least carry on a one-sided conversation (of him doing the talking). But then it gets even worse, so I go back to the bathroom and TONS of blood later... it finally died down. So then I could finish eating... Yup. So, I bet you'd have loved to be a fly on the wall for that date, huh? ;). But, he asked me on a second date, so I guess it turned out alright in the end. 

Wednesday evening, I went to play pickleball with my homegirls (after a very looonnngggg day). There was five of us, so one of us had to sit out each time. Despite it being *exceedingly* crowded, we didn't have to wait too long between games... plus I played chess on an app on my phone and FINALLY won on the level Difficult!!! But we did end up staying and playing until lights out. Literally. They shut the lights down in the middle of our game, and we tried to carry on in the dark to no avail. They sure do enforce the curfew at Gilbert Regional Park! But back to what made my day so long... I went straight from work to my internship, where I expected an hour break before my first client... except no. Fortunately, I happened to check my internship email and then calendar and saw (at 1:05pm) that I had a brand new client scheduled for 1pm!!!! It was over telehealth, so I quick as lightening made a link to email over and jumped on. So that took a lot of energy and focus. My 2pm canceled last minute, so I did get a slight break before meeting with mom & teenager at 3pm and then an entire family of 7 at 5pm 🥳 It takes a LOT of focus and energy, but it's a lot of fun working with family relationships. 

Thursday night, my friend Kimberly picked me up and we headed to her lesson with the missionaries. Amron also went to the lesson, and afterward, the three of us hung out. We ended up going to the San Tan mall for gelato and hung out. It was really fun and I felt so much contentment and happiness and gratitude for my new friends. I remember feeling periods of loneliness over the past (almost) two years since moving back to AZ, wishing I had good friends, and it's just been recently that I've felt God answering those prayers and desires. I've also grown a lot individually and relationally, and I'm grateful for the paths that led me to where I am today, no matter how lonely and crooked at times.

On Friday, I had a new teenage client I got to meet with (which fortunately I knew about in advance 😅) and then met with a couple, which was a pretty insensitive session that left me with quite the headache. But I popped some IB Profen and went straight to a girls' night with my sister. It was super fun! We ended up chillin' there and painting tote bags for three hours! They turned out super cute!😍 I did lemons and Val did a sunflower. Saturday evening, I finished up my last essay of the quarter (the last thing that has felt like it's dragging me down) and then went out to a lesson with the missionaries for Kimberly and then took myself out to dinner afterward to treat myself. I've been on a Thai food kick, so I went to this place called Thai Peppers that was pretty good! On Sunday, the funniest thing happened because apparently, while my parents were at church, baby Gracelyn just wanted to go to the ladies with long necklaces, so when Aaron, Brie, and the baby came over for dinner, we ALL wore some of mom's long necklaces... included dad! It was hilarious. And sure enough, baby Gracelyn LOVED it! She knawed away on those things ;). I also had the opportunity to teach relief society and bring the spirit into class as I tied in patriarchal blessings into our eternal identity and divine mission.

The cutest pic of my LIFE!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Me and God vs. World

 29 May - 4 June 2023

I'm not really feeling up to giving a play-by-play of my week, but I do want to note some important things. I made a new friend! Kimberly Smith :) The missionaries have been teaching her the lessons and I've been attending them, and we really clicked. We've had some really good conversations, and she's invited me to things and has been receptive to my invitations. She also wants to be a therapist! She went to the Memorial Day ward barbeque and then I attended two of her lessons this week! One of them was really tender because I was able to share the experience I'd had in the temple from the previous Saturday, and it brought such a sweet Spirit that she could identify and feel. So that was incredible. Then we chatted for almost an hour after out in the parking lot, just the two of us! I had a really awesome stake activities committee meeting on Sunday, and I've spent a lot of time following up with my committee members and planning for activities that can help us bond. I even asked my co-chair if we could take time to chat and get to know each other better so we can be more united and knowledgeable about each other. He is leaving soon for his mission, but he is motivated to give it his all until he leaves. Friday night, I went to another lesson with the missionaries, but I wasn't feeling that great and was tired, so I didn't speak up much. I think a huge part is me reading my friend and how anxious she was, and that affected my ability to be calm and feel the spirit and have things to say. I did initiatories early in the morning on Saturday, then exercised, then went to clean the church with my sisters and we went shopping after. Valerie hosted a girls' night and got treats for it. I took a nap and did some homework. I also got to hold my baby neice. She is getting so big! The girls' night was refreshing, just talking. We didn't actually do any games or anything. I fasted on Sunday to be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works. I'm at a really good place in my life and just need the momentum to keep going. When I find myself sad or lonely, I don't try to distract or wish them away, but I take ownership of what I'm feeling and that I'm the one who is responsible for making myself happy. I can't expect another person to make me not feel lonely or sad. I have all the power within myself to live a happy and fulfilled life, and I think I will constantly have to remind myself of that because we live in a world that promotes a very opposite message than that. I think it can be disheartening when I work so hard and throw myself into something and don't see any results, and it can make me lose the motivation for it, but I have to remind myself WHY I'm doing it. If it's worth doing, then it's worth doing it for me, not for anyone else or any other validation. When I start expecting external results, that's when things get discouraging. So yeah, it really is me and God against the rest of the world. It's just us two, Him helping me make a difference in myself and in the world, and anyone else I encounter is just a bonus, a blessing to add happiness to my life. And I'm learning how much I really do have to offer as a therapist. I do have unique insights, understanding, and empathy. What I have to offer people is a unique skill and talent that they cannot get anywhere else.

Poor girl wasn't feeling too well and was extra cuddly.

Much love,

Emily Burnham