Monday
I awoke super early to catch my flight back to Provo. My lovely mom dropped my off, and my awesome sister picked me up! I missed basketball class, but I was able to make it to my research class. Even though I felt rather plane-sick. I felt so exhausted for the rest of the day, so I did fit a nap into my day! For Home Evening that evening, our ward met in the chapel and we had a guest speaker talk to us about Mental Health.
Tuesday
Well, I forgot my keys when going to work, so when I arrived home after class, I found myself locked out of my apartment! Valerie and Miranda were at work! I decided I could bike down to the public library and get a card with them, something that has been on my to-do list for weeks! That was an adventure. Then Valerie sent me a video that taught be how to pop out a screen and break in through the window. So I did. Yup, now I have super awesome ninja skills. That was a relief! I've been working on reading my textbook and studying for my exam coming up. That evening, I went to institute with Valerie.
Wednesday
Work, class, studying. I've been feeling more productive lately. I also went ice skating on my own and I am slowly (very, very slowly) improving on my basic tricks (and just my balance in general). It's a super fun hobby for me!
Thursday
I studied in the library after basketball class for an hour, then went to the BYU bookstore and found a good deal on shorts (50% off, plus I had a $10 gift card), and then went back to study for a bit before leaving to go shopping at Sprouts and Walmart. I bought lots of yummy fruit :). I also ordered some covers for the blades on my ice-skates!
Friday
After getting home from work and class, I decided I didn't want to study today, so I read my library book before attending the TA review. My brain can only learn so much, so when I got home, I read some more. I decided to go to the ward temple trip, even though I had been planning on just going to the temple tomorrow morning. It was good. I got to do initiatories with Valerie and a bunch of other sisters in our ward. While waiting for my turn, I sat pondering the scriptures and had some good insights about what to do for my lesson I'm teaching on Sunday!
Saturday
I attempted to go to the temple to do an endowment session in the morning, but with the Provo temple being closed, the Provo City Center temple was so crowded, I drove around for 10 minutes trying to find parking and couldn't. Finally I gave up and stopped by the library on my way home to drop off a book. At least I was able to go yesterday with the ward! In the afternoon, I went ice-skating by myself (which can sometimes be awkward when there are couples there on a date, and you happen to vaguely know one of them, and they ask if you're also on a date, but no, so you have to mention you came by yourself). I really enjoy, though! That evening I went to the stake activity with my roommates at the Provo Rec Center, where we swam in the tide pool (since the water slides were out of service). The funniest part of my whole week: while we were swimming, this super socially awkward guy in the stake swims over and asks us all our names. Everyone else is kind of ignoring him, and since I'm close by, he asks me what my major is. I tell him I'm a Psych major, and he says, "Oh, you're one of those psychos!" I had no idea had to respond. I was thinking to myself, "Is this guy for real? He has major issues..." and so I responded, "Actually, I have an anti-social disorder." And then I discretely swam away from him with Val behind. My group of friends laughed hysterically at my response.
Sunday
I taught Sunday School today, and even though each time I feel a little nervous, I trust that God has led me with what to teach. The Spirit was strong during the lesson, and the way I taught was to ask questions about each topic I felt inspired to bring up, sparking a class conversation. I also shared some stories that applied, and one girl came to talk with me after class and said that what I'd mentioned was exactly how she had felt and she really appreciated it. I'm so glad to know I can help my peers out with my calling. It is such an honor and I love teaching. After church, we had a Come, Follow Me study group that went really well. Whitney invited me over to hang with her and her guy friends, so I went for a bit and ended up leaving with a blind date to a ball this upcoming Saturday... so that was interesting! That evening, we were invited over for dinner at the other Relief Society President's apartment. The food was really good, and I enjoyed getting to know the girls in that apartment better. Plus, I mentioned how I had a blind date to a ball this Saturday and one girl gave me some masks for me and my friends to wear if we wanted! Afterwards, we went home and finished all the preparations for serving dinner for Doug, Heidi, Andrew, and Zeb. They arrived a little late, but they really enjoyed the food! We ate again with them (double dinners are the best!) and then played games with them afterwards. We had such an enjoyable time that I was later than usual getting to bed.
One thing I've thought a lot about this week is the stigma behind admitting you have depression or some other mental illness. What I find so interesting is that 1 in 5 adults will have depression. These mental and emotional sicknesses that we get literally mess with the chemicals in our bodies, creating imbalances that influence the way we feel and think. An individual can feel so negative and hopeless and full of despair. They may be attending the temple, reading their scriptures, praying, yet feeling nothing. That is not because they are abandoned, but because their ability to feel has been blocked off, like clouds covering the bright sun. The sun is still there, but your body sends clouds to hinder its light, warmth, and influence. These people, misunderstanding this, may assume God has abandoned them because they are unworthy and unrighteous. Not doing enough. This only adds to their despair.
For all of you out there who feel like you will never be happy again, or like you are not enough, hang in there. Keep pressing forward. There is light on the other side of those clouds, and they will eventually disperse. Meanwhile, turn to loved ones and seek out the professional help you need.
Love y'all mucho mucho mucho!
Emily Burnham
P.S. Disclaimer: "The Masked Burglar" was a title created just to draw attention. I did not actually run into any burglars wearing a mask, though I was given a bunch of masks and had to break into my own apartment like a burglar this week :)
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