18 October - 24 October 2021
Monday: I called Becca Harper to catch up and share an insight I'd learned from institute. It was really good and fun (until Bob showed up, since I was at work). It wasn't busy at all, but I don't like the feeling of getting in trouble. For FHE, our ward went to a pumpkin patch/corn maze. I invited Lucy to come along, and I'm so glad I did! After paying to get in, I wasted no time in playing the games and going around to try everything. I felt like a little kid and had fun trying everything out, even the jumpy air things. I don't know where all that energy came form, but I sure had a blast hanging with Lucy all night. We joined up with Valerie and some people in our ward in the corn maze, and Lucy had a fun time hiding and then scaring people. After we got home, Val and I got ready and went to the temple at 9:30pm to clean. I was very tired, but grateful for the opportunity to serve in the Lord's temple, especially since it is closed down for 1.5 months.
Tuesday: Even though I slept in, I was still tired the next morning. I met with my faculty member at Capella university via Zoom, and it was good to hear some advice and tips from her. I then had voice lessons right after with Christina, and I'm excited to work on my next song from Frozen 2, The Next Right Thing. That evening, I attended our stake basketball tournament, and good thing I went! Only four other people were there, so we had exactly enough players to not forfeit. We one the first game and then lost the second game, but wow, it was a good work out, even though I jammed a finger and twisted an ankle.
Wednesday: I went to work and did some schoolwork. That evening, I went to a fitness class with Rachel from my ward, and it was high intensity. I was sore for days after. Then I attended Come, Follow Me at the Gallagher's home, and I had some cool insights. I am still struggling to feel like I fit in and have friends. I feel lonely a lot and very sad. I question if what I'm doing is right. I don't know, but I am trying my very best to stay close to Jesus Christ.
Thursday: I love the days when I don't have work! I had a meeting with my academic coach. I went shopping and got a present for Bri's birthday (some nice socks). Lucy had a badminton dinner in our yard that evening, and mom made gluten-free pasta for me and had all the carnival games out to play. Then mom went with me to institute, where we discussed gender roles and The Family Proclamation.
Friday: I don't look forward to the weekends anymore because I have to work Friday and Saturday. And I was so busy on Friday, I didn't even have time for school work or anything! Work has been frustrating because I've been told my #1 job is to please the customers and help them any way I can by my manager, but then I've also gotten trouble by the general manager for not doing things his way when I help customers. Usually, it is because the way they want to help me is not actually in my job description, but the managers aren't around to take care of it, so I do my best and then get in trouble. It's so frustrating. And it's frustrating that I have to do people's jobs that I shouldn't have to because other people don't do or because the "higher ups" pawn off their work "busy work" on me. The rink needs better management, organization, and workers. But with minimum pay, they aren't going to get the best workers, and I'm not in a position to improve management, so there's nothing I can do. I'm just stuck. I was getting so depressed about working my job that I gave myself a timeline. I'll keep it for now until February, and then I'm free to get something else. That way, I can continue to do schoolwork in the mornings 2 or 3 days at work, while holding on to the hope that there is something better out there that I can look forward to. Or perhaps I'll work it til the summer and get a job nannying for the summer somewhere cool, like Florida, back East, or even a different country! But I just need things to look forward to that feels like progression or new experiences, where I can meet new people and find a place or job where I fit in. After work, I went with my family to play raquetball (I still suck, but I go to bond and to get a work out).
Saturday: Work. Busy. Went home and de-stressed. The highlight of work was Lia. I recommended a lot of books to her a week ago, and she checked some out from the library and liked the one she started reading, Strong Like the Sea. That made me happy! I also recommended lots of books to my co-worker Kyleigh, so I'm excited to see if she likes them. That evening, I attended my family's ward Halloween party. Dad and I rode our electric unicycles there. I went as Mini Mouse. Lucy was a scary clown in the haunted house, which was super cool, and then my mom brought most of the games that were there, since we have tons of carnival games. I helped clean up after, then rode my uni back home and watched the movie "Monsters and Love" which was pretty good. I helped Lucy write her talk for church this afternoon, and then late at night, she tripped down the stairs and twisted her ankle pretty bad.
This week, I noticed that on the day I didn't have the chance to read my scriptures in the morning at work or before, I had a terrible day! Then as I drove home, I realized that reading my scriptures would make my day so much better! On Sunday, I helped Lucy with her hair and make-up and catered to her since she was in a lot of pain. Even though she takes a lot from me and doesn't give back as much as she takes, I realized that is the same with me and Heavenly Father. I take so much more from Him than I could ever give back, but he doesn't complain about it. So I will just keep serving and loving, relying on my Savior for strength. After church, I attended ward choir, and then this evening we have a stake devotional.
Much love,
Emily Burnham
No comments:
Post a Comment