First Week Back in AZ

 18 July - 24 July 2022

I knew this day was coming, when FSY would be over and I'd be back home. It was just hard to imagine at the time because FSY was so time consuming. But I survived my first week back from FSY! While it was more laid back compared to a week as a counselor for FSY, what made it difficult was my spiking anxiety. I described it to Valerie as a return to reality, where I remember how lonely I feel without outgoing friendships, no cute boys around, and oppressive heat. I don't want to go outside during the day because I literally feel my body baking. Being outside helped me a lot to feel grounded and close to God, so the weather is making it difficult to counter the anxiety that is coming from not having every minute of my day planned out for me anymore. I feel a lack of desire and motivation to do anything productive and wasted a lot of time this past week watching TV and stressing. I did do school, which has fortunately been easy so far and not too time-consuming. And I'm prepping for my residency coming up in a week and a half, which has also been a big source of anxiety. Fortunately, I have a place to stay and people offering rides. Plus I'm in walking distance from the hotel (35 minutes) which could count as my exercise for the day. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm really excited to travel somewhere new, make new friends and have new experiences. I bought my tickets to Harry Potter World! It took a big chunk of money from my account, but now I don't have to stress about that anymore and can just focus on having a fun and enjoyable trip. But I'm not just excited about getting to go to Harry Potter World. I'm actually excited for my school residency training, to actually start applying the skills I am learning instead of reading textbooks. I want to start practicing now! But I just have to wait five more months and then I will get to start with my internship, which I'm excited for. But it's only 10 hours a week, and I'm still going to need to find another job so I can still pay my way through school. Grrr. I'm starting to realize how stressful life gets when you don't have money... and especially if you weren't on the same page with someone about how to spend that little money you did have (aka being married). Wow. Yeah, it just seems so limiting sometimes. Anyways, I don't know what else to tell you about my week besides apple cider vinegar seems to be doing the trick on getting rid of my small warts. I just put some on a cotton ball and then use medical tape to hold it in place overnight. Within three nights, they scabbed up and look to be fighting the infection. Honestly, I am doing good. It's just been hard to feel that peace I so desperately need because of my high anxiety levels. I really am content and have a great life and bright future. I need to remember optimism is the cure of anxiety. 

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Here are two jokes to end on a lighter note: