4 July - 10 July 2022
Monday did not feel like a holiday... except for certain things being closed, like the maintenance office. The sink in our dorm was clogged and would not drain, but I wasn't able to get ahold of anyone until Tuesday morning, and then it wasn't taken care of until Wednesday afternoon. So, this week was a bit challenging. I remember two weeks ago, my co Brielle told me that the energy comes back during the Sunday night meeting and then in the morning when you are checking in kids. However, I still felt sick and drained. I was NOT ready to meet my kids, because my own physical health was down the drain and I did not know how I would have enough energy and enthusiasm when I met my girls. But, nevertheless, I persevered. I went on to meet my girls and went on with the day, doing the best that I could. I let them know that I was tired from getting back from Missouri at 2am the day before, but that hopefully my energy would be back soon. They were patient with me. Seriously, God knew this would be a hard week for me and He gave me a great group of girls who were already so excited for FSY and were already pretty spiritual and obedient. I also had the older group, so they were more responsible and we had breakfast later, which meant I had 15 more minutes in the morning to get ready! Trust me, that was so needed! A big blessing. But that wasn't all. My ENTIRE group were angels! Even the boys. They all knew how to have fun and be hyped, but then they all were also very spiritual and could settle down and share deep insights. My co's were so supportive and fun, playing with the kids during free time. Honestly, all of the love and support from my co's and from all the kids carried me through the week, though Wednesday was a game changer day.
I woke up Wednesday and was like, "nope, I can't do today." Fortunately, there were so many tender mercies and miracles I experienced that came to ease my pain and burdens. For instance, since I was in a trio, I was able to basically take Wednesday off and have my co's cover for me and just sleep all day. By the end of the night, I still didn't feel much better, but I went to games night anyway. Just walking there in the hot sun zapped what little energy I had. I sat out in the shade for most of it. Then during pizza night, I had a terrible bloody nose. Blah. So as I go to bed that night, I can't breathe out of my nose, and I feel so sick and tired, and I'm just praying that I can be healed. I realized this past week or so that I struggle with having faith to be healed, because I'm so accepting of God's will and the role of trials, so when I've prayed to be healed and didn't get healed in the past, I have the faith not to be healed and to just rely on God for strength. But this has led me to wonder if now I have faith to not be healed, but not faith to be healed, because I never know if it's God's will. And I know that if it's not, I won't be healed. So I always just kind of expect that I'm not going to be healed, because so often I've heard to have the faith to not be healed, but what about when it is God's will? Is it just not happening because I don't have enough faith? Because I'm not sure? So I've been thinking that over and praying about it throughout the week, and I get to this low point Wednesday night, and I ask the Lord if I can rely on the faith of my girl's who are praying for me to get better as well as what little faith I do have, and that I desire to be healed so I can do my job on Thursday and give my girls a spiritual experience. I literally said, "Just heal me or kill me." Because I didn't have the strength to carry on sick. Well, I guess I fell asleep soon after that prayer, and I guess Heavenly Father didn't want me dead just yet, because I woke up the next morning breathing out of my nose, feeling better. I was still kind of sick, but had enough energy and stamina that I knew I could make it through the day. I truly believe that God healed me. I believe He desired to give me that experience so I could exercise my faith to be healed. I've realized healing and strength are more readily given when it's so that you can bless and serve others and not for selfish reasons.
That was the big miracle of the week, but my other miracles came in the form of my co-counselors and my kiddos. They were perfect angels!! I know I've said it before, but I really mean it this time. They were so loving and I was able to have some really good spiritual experiences with them. The highlight of my week was Thursday night during testimony meeting. ALL seven of my girls bore their testimony, along with the majority of our company. Only one or maybe two did not bare their testimony. My heart was filled with so much love for this group of kids, and I loved seeing how much they loved and cared about each other. Friday night was especially tender. At the end of the "Taking it Home" activity, all of us co's bore our testimony, which was super powerful. Then we invited the kids to give us hugs, which a lot of them came up to give us big hugs, and I was grateful and surprised by some who came up to give me a big hug and thanked me for my powerful testimony and for helping them feel the spirit throughout the week. Then they all hugged each other and did their own little group handshakes and we did our chant. It lasted a good long time, and many people were crying. It was so touching. But also I was anxious to get back to the dorms for bed, as were a couple of the other kiddos. So thus ended a tough but amazing week.
On Saturday, I went to the library to review the homework assignments I have this week, since school is starting. I was SO tired though. It was hard to focus or do much. Then I went to the temple with Val. Then we went out to dinner, and I helped her shop and get the mingle food for Sunday. She will be my coordinator this coming week, which I'm very excited about! Oh, that reminds me! I had a crazy morning on Friday. I got a call from FSY hiring and they asked if I could go to NY next week and then two weeks in Massachusetts. I called my mom right after and asked what I should do. My mom said I should do it! So I called them back and said yes. They said they'd cancel my contract in Provo and send me the new three contracts. This would mean I would work two additional weeks (so, seven in a row), but I had this excitement and energy at the thought of getting to go back east, even though there are a ton of reasons why that would add a lot of stress to my life (I'd already bought a plane ticket home to AZ for next week, school was starting, and I was so sick!), but I decided I could make it happen. But then they called me back 20 minutes later and said, "Just kidding, we don't need you in NY and MA, but it would actually be Seattle, WA, and only for two weeks." I again talked with my mom and then turned them down because I realized how stressful that would be and I wasn't even excited about it like I'd been for NY and MA. So everything went back to how it was, which I'm grateful for. But it would have been so cool to have traveled back east! But the time will surely come for me. Anyway, that about sums up my week!
Here is a photo dump. Enjoy!
Emily Burnham
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