Surprise Birthday Success!

 8 January 2024 - 28 January 2024

Hello, my friends! After graduating, my next step has been to recover from feeling absolutely burnt out! So, one of my new mottos has become not to do anything I don't have to do. And even so, I've still been doing some things I don't technically "have to" do, such as continuing to work on and build up my YouTube channel and learning Korean, but I've allowed myself not to feel guilt for "doing nothing" or "unproductive" things. Well, as part of this motto, I've decided to change from writing weekly to monthly, just recapping the highlights at the end of each month to simplify things. And as time goes on, if I feel like writing more, I will, but for now, this will be a good change of pace. Coming up next is... I'm finishing up working at the sign shop this next week and then will quit and begin studying for my exam, which I booked for March 16th. I'll keep taking off those two days each week to put in some solid study hours and prep for the exam. I'm confident that once I buckle down and go through the study program, I will be just fine and will pass the exam. I did so well on the GRE, and have a history of doing well on exams, so it will go smoothly; I just have to put in the hours, which I will in February and the beginning of March. Then, after I take the exam, I will reassess where I'm at with clients and see if I need to pick up a second site to get more clients so I can make a liveable wage and also get more client hours to count towards full licensure. Until then, I'm not going to worry about not having a lot of clients or making much money. So, in theory, I have a pretty balanced schedule for these next few months. The main thing I am working on is my confidence in sessions because for whatever reason, I become very uncertain when working with the parents of children, and I need to express more confidence in myself and what I am doing, because my work truly is valuable, so I don't know why I act like it isn't. So, this past month, we had some fun FHE activities. We had an info-mercial contest of random retro objects, such as spam, aprons, a sewing machine, garbage bags, etc. and it was SO funny! It was a great time. I also started attending the live Zoom reviews that Diane Gehart holds once a month for the MFT exam. I went to my friend Jessy's bridal shower, which had really good food and a cute flower-crown-making station. I also had breakfast at the gluten-free bakery with my friend Abby who got back from a semester in Washington DC, which was super fun! I also had a Korean night with my two friends Therese and Courtlynn. Zoey came too, and we went to the Asian market and bought snacks, then went back to their apartment and watched the first episode of Goblin. I have started attending stake choir practice for the upcoming easter performance, and we have some super awesome songs we are learning! I've already invited lots of coworkers and friends to come to it! I spent a week being sick, so that made me slow down even more and take better care of myself. I decided to apply for FSY this summer! It'll likely be the last summer I can do it, so I wanted to give it a shot, plus I'd love to be able to travel to cool places and meet lots of cool and fun people! I've been working on my own mental health and expectations about counseling and the role of my own spirituality in my work, and I have discovered how much I love intertwining God's gospel into every aspect of my life, so spending almost a year trying to "separate" that from my therapy work was harmful to my mental/emotional health, and I'm now starting to integrate those two sides of myself. I had a very helpful discussion with my supervisor Michele and with another LDS therapist, Jonathan. I officially got released from my stake calling, which was a huge relief, because I was feeling so overwhelmed having that on top of being called to help Elder Anderson fulfill his assignment given by the prophet and apostles to plan and hold a YSA AZ Regional Conference. Plus I still have a ward calling as being on the FHE planning committee. My mom threw our grandpa a surprise birthday party, Hawaiian Luau themed, and Amanda and Matthew even flew down for it, so it was the first time in a couple of years that all five of his children were together! We tricked him and told him the set-up was for a YSA activity, and then when all the family showed up, we hid and got him outside and jumped out and surprised him. He did not even really know how to respond. He was shocked to see everyone. We played some games and ate delicious food! Everyone had a great time. I have a lot of new clients coming my way, mostly kids, so I am brushing up and deepening my knowledge of play therapy and working with kids! Well, those are the highlights so far... catch ya next month!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Jessy Gavin's Bridal Shower

Me taking a selfie at the Asian store in front of the Korean restaurants!

Grandpa's Surprise Party:

Door to 2024!

26 December 2023 - 7 January 2024

Okay, yes, I may have decided to make every new year post rhyme. Just wanted to keep with the tradition from last year ;).  

If you've been following along in the last several posts, you may have picked up on a theme of feeling overwhelmed and anxious and pressured. Well, I've been delving into my own mental health and self-care, studying closely with God to figure some faulty mindsets I'd picked up along the way, and it's been a whole thing, which is why finding the energy and motivation to write in my blog was pretty much non-existant last week, but I'm here now, so that counts for something. It's now been a whole week into the new year, and I do feel a lot better--more hopeful, less anxious. It's been an interesting journey to reflect back over this past year and realize that in many areas in my professional life, I've felt like I've had to hold myself back in regard to my religious expression, often feeling like my own religiosity would create bias or judgment or would be unethical, so I had to hold myself back. Slowly, I think it started to tear me up a little inside because I used to eat, breathe, sleep all things spiritual and religious. In the books I read, listened to, in the music I listened to, in my thoughts, in my school studies, in my hobbies. And I've felt a thirst and hunger recently to go back to that girl who was immersed in all things religion, no matter what she was doing. I would listen to religious books while working custodial, we could relate any subject at BYU to the gospel. I never felt like I had to separate or compartmentalize my religious side, until going through my Master's program and hearing opinions and teachings from secular teachers. But I've realized that creates a lot more strain in me because I feel like I am working from secular models based on my own expertise and abilities, which creates a lot of pressure, insecurity, and feelings of imposter syndrome. I'd rather work from an integrated religious perspective where all my therapy work/models/interventions are used from the foundation of Christ and His spiritual power and guidance. I don't want to feel like I have to separate my thoughts from Him when studying or practicing therapy. I want to be able to invite Him into my therapy room, into my treatment planning, and invite my clients into my scripture study. Of course on the outside, nothing huge changes. I'm still not preaching gospel principles. I think maybe I would be less hesitant to draw on religious analogies if I know they are religious. But if they are not, I would still respect that and not bring up religious topics when they want to focus on other things. But on the inside, things will change because I will be relying on the power of Jesus Christ to help guide me to know what to say and do to help my clients, and His power and Spirit will be in the room. I hope that my therapy room becomes a sacred space where you can feel a palpable spirit of peace, love, and upliftment. Yeah, so that's been on my mind a lot, just thinking how to better integrate religion and spiritualness into my therapy and into my YouTube channel and other hobbies. Speaking of hobbies, I am still hooked on Kdramas and attempting to learn Korean. Even though my progress may be considered rather slow, I am making tangible, palpable improvements, and that is so very exciting! It's easier for me to sound out Korean words and I can read them a little bit faster. I started working on memorizing 3 Nephi 5:13 in Korean! 

Okay, so now onto some highlights from the past two weeks:

During the last week of December, I finished up my application for my associate license and got that submitted within the first week of January, once I'd officially graduated. I sent over my official transcripts, so now I'm just waiting to hear back from them regarding scheduling to take the licensure examination. Everything is so expensive! I will really need to save up my money because applying for licensure, taking exams, and all these CE credits and EFT trainings will cost me about 2 grand when all is said and done! It's insane. No wonder therapy is expensive, y'all! Being a therapist is expensive!

Valerie took me to get my graduation photos, and even though I didn't feel cute that day for whatever reason, fortunately, a lot of the pictures turned out very cute. I don't know exactly why I was just feeling perfectionistic and nit-picky that day. It was a mood. But I've been very motivated to eat a lot healthier, and surprisingly, my desire for carbs and sugar has declined. I just really want to flood my body with healthy things! So I've been drinking healthy smoothies for breakfast with pea-protein powder and fruits/veggies. And then I'm trying to eat a lot more healthier meals, like salmon, quinoa, vegetables, and oranges. I'm avoiding any unnecessary carbs or sugar. But I'm not too picky about it to where I deprive myself of anything. But it's been amazing to see the amount of what I eat decrease as well, as my desire decreases to overindulge in chips and other things that aren't the best for me. On Wednesday the 27th, I had dinner with a friend I met from the EFT training, Ashley. It was incredible and so needed! We talked for two hours at the place! It was such a needed space to be able to share about clients, progress, insecurities, worries, and life as an intern in general and to be understood and validated. I really hope our friendship continues to deepen! 

It's been nice thinking that I'm actually getting paid for what I'm doing now! I am also carrying on with my YouTube channel, though it is still not getting many views and feels pointless at times. But I want to continue to turn it into something meaningful and useful. I think I changed it into a good direction when I started focusing in on activities for teens and children, and I'll stick with that direction for a little longer as I continue to ponder and explore how to make it more meaningful and fulfilling. Along the lines of what I was saying earlier, I'm thinking I need to incorporate religious teachings and references into each video, inviting the Spirit and having invitations to act, but I'm still trying to figure out just how I want to incorporate that. I went to Skate Land yesterday with Val for a girl's party. She's in our ward and friends with us both. It was fun to go and stake, but it sure has been a while! I think it took my an hour to ease myself into it and not feel so anxious (last time I rollerbladed at a YSA activity, I fell and really hurt my knee, so I think my elevated race had more to do with nerves than the exercise). But it slowly calmed down and I gained more confidence and had a blast. Plus got a good workout. Also, I've been continuing to go to the gym with my mom, and I am still loving the friend group I made there with Cindy and Hana. I really feel my legs and gluts getting stronger! I've also played pickleball with Andrew, Lu, and Val and had a lot of fun. So yeah, that pretty much sums up my life right now!

Me and Lu before heading to the New Year's YSA dance:

Me still obsessed with the Alchemy of Souls soundtrack/drama, listening at work:

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Merry Christmas!

 18 December - 25 December 2023

Some highlights from the past week include... playing pickleball with Andrew, Valerie, and Porter after FHE! FHE was a white elephant gift exchange, and I got a giant pack of ramen noodles, which I regifted (along with the pooping dog calendar) to my brother Sean, who seemed to like the gifts! Saturday morning, I had a great time in the temple morning because I got to be sealed in behalf of two Korean girls to their parents, and then one of the ladys in the room was also an MFT, so we talked for a bit after, then I got to see Val and Porter in the celestial room! Saturday afternoon, I went to As You Wish Pottery with Valerie, Lucy, and Porter. Us girls made cute little tea cups, but I'll have to upload the pictures next week because they'll be ready for pick up sometime this week. Christmas eve dinner was delicious! We had tamales, chili, and nachos! Christmas day, Valerie officially got engaged to Porter! We had our Christmas lunch with three sets of missionaries and played the "sounds" game. The morning was really relaxing because we got to sleep in, then watch the Christ child and eat a yummy breakfast! I have been eating too much junk food and sugar lately, but I enjoyed it while it lasted, and now I'm on to a healthier diet. Some of my highlights of the past week were sitting in my room on my cozy chair, wrapped in a blanket, eating yummy treats, while watching a Kdrama! I am continuing to slowly and surely study the Korean language. Also, I joined a little exercise group at the gym consisting of Cindy and Hana. Hana is from Korea but moved here 25 years ago. Cindy is a temple worker, so it's fun to see her at both places. We work out our leg muscles, and I've been getting super sore from it, which is a good thing I guess. Lucy has also been super excited to see Gracelyn! She sure missed that little thing while she was away at college! 

On our way to As You Wish Pottery.

Christmas Eve selfies with the Dad

Plus the Lu

And Seany Sean Sean

We played a Jack Box game that was pretty funny!

I'm excited to dig into my new Christmas presents to further my studies in Korean!

Mom went on a shopping spree for clothes for the babe. She looks French in that hat!! Haha, she is sooo cute! We all adore her.

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Korean Skin Care

 11 December - 17 December 2023

On Monday, I attended a live zoom meeting for a course I bought to help me prepare for the MFT licensing exam. I have tons of hours I need to put into studying, and I'm not looking forward to it, but once the exam is over, I will never have to take it again! I am just thinking of this as like one more semester, of studying and then a giant exam, and THEN I'll officially be done and graduated (though I am technically already graduated. I just finished my last day of class this past Friday!). I'm going to get hired on as a BHT until I pass the licensing exam, so I won't be making too much money, but oh well. I have realized this past week that my anxiety and depression has crept back into my life because of these ridiculously high (and arbitrary) standards/expectations I have for myself. 

We watched Gracelyn for three days and two nights! It was a lot for my mom, who came down sick after, but my dad was super involved and helped, and I tried to pitch in as well. Val also came over and helped. So it was truly a team effort! Her parents drove across the country to pick something up and my dad didn't want her to be stuck in the car all day. We had lots of fun playing with and holding her. She is absolutely adorable and has started walking a lot more lately!

Wednesday evening, I met with a member of the stake presidency to talk about struggles I was having with my stake calling, so it's looking like I will be released soon. Then I had a meeting for the regional YSA AZ conference that we are planning for next year. If you think about it, I have three callings now, one on a ward level, one on a stake level, and then one on a regional level! It has been a lot. 

Thursday evening was our ward Relief Society party, which was really chill and relaxed. I had lots of meetings on Friday with my clinic, then I crashed my parent's date night and we went to Thai Peppers, which actually really hurt my tummy the next day :(. And poor dad was already not feeling very well.

Then on Saturday, it was our ward Christmas party, which was a blast! We sponsored two families, so we split into two groups and went to drop off the gifts and visit with the families. Then we headed over to the Hansen's house for catered tacos that were DELISH and lots of desserts and fun. We did the white elephant gift exchange, and I surprisingly kept getting my gifts stolen... until I finally unwrapped a "Pooping Dog" calendar. Then I was stuck with that. But it was quite hilarious! Sunday dinner was small, just me and my parents and Grandpa Jim. I went to bed super early (literally 7:30pm) because I'd stayed up late the night before watching Kdramas... so then I was so tired all day Sunday. Also, dad has taken an interest in my skin care routine, and mom as well, so I outlined the order to use the products for them, and my mom just ordered a bunch of them. Haha, so I'm setting a trend in my family ;).

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Christmas in the Air

 27 November - 10 December 2023

Wow. I was just looking back through all my old posts and realized that I've been posting consistently for the last SEVEN years! Like, wow. Lately, writing and posting has felt like a burden. I've been very overwhelmed by life. But even though I've missed a few weeks here or there, I've still been consistent. There was a three month gap between getting home from my mission and then posting, but otherwise it's been pretty much weekly (with the exception of the last couple of months), with me posting the highlights of my week and keeping track of my life. Even if no one reads it but me, it's so worth it because it helps me to go back and reflect and remember my strengths and the progress I've made. I have learned so poignantly these last two weeks that I am my worst critic and truly need to reign in the negativity and give myself more grace and seek for the positives. Doing this really helps with that, even though it's sometimes hard to get the motivation to write when I'm struggling with already feeling super overwhelmed. 

Anyways... some quick highlights of the past two weeks include:

-I've had three or four people ask me about my skin care routine because they notice my skin is glowing and want to know what products I use! I took a picture of all my products today to send out, and this isn't even all the products I have (but is most of them). It feels good to know what I've been doing for the past month (or two?) has really made a difference in my skin. It has definitely become part of my self-care routine, a moment to focus on the sensations of cleaning and caring for my face, though it does sometimes feel like a chore. What really helps is good makeup products. I've found some good foundations I like, and applying it on moisturized skin really makes a huge difference in how well it covers and makes your skin look flawless!

-I attended a 14 hour training in Tempe for Core Skills. I have three more of them left to get EFCT (emotionally-focused couple's therapy) certified. I learned a lot and made some great connections. One girl in my group was also a student and we bonded, and I learned she Korean, which made me really excited. I'm still working on learning Korean! Slowly, but surely! I do have school to finish up because... I'm graduating THIS MONTH!!! And a huge licensing exam to prep for (um... yeah. I buckled down and bought a $300 study prep course... bleh. But I'm gonna do it!!) So I've been busy, but I'm trying!

-I gave a short talk at our stake Christmas devotional and got TONS of compliments! All the speakers were truly fantastic, and we had some great musical numbers. I got to sing in one of the choirs too. And I felt very pretty that night. I've been filming lots of YouTube videos, so here's one I did about children's books, and that's how I also looked that night at the devo. But along the lines of YouTube, I started going in a new direction, focused on specific activities/exercises to do with kids and teens that are therapeutic and help kids grow. So far, I think my view count has gone slightly up than before, and it seems to have a more positive outcome. And the videos are so much easier for ME to film and feel confident about. I really like this new direction a lot and it excites me, which is really good since I had begun to feel a bit burnt out from doing my channel. 

-I attended the CLEAR Counseling work Christmas party, and it was the first time in a long time that the time passed without me noticing it. I didn't think or feel like I'd been there very long, but almost 3 hours had passed. It was incredible to be able to just sit in and enjoy the moment.

-Valerie and her boyfriend are getting pretty serious, already discussing rings and honeymoon locations! So we will see if she gets a ring by the end of the year or not!! I'm just so happy for her. Her being happy makes me feel so happy and blessed. And I love how she can be more of herself with him. 

-Gracelyn is cute as ever and growing so fast! She is so good at imitating words, so we've been getting a kick out of her saying "I cute" and our names. She is walking more and more, but she still prefers crawling or being held (especially by grandma). 

-Work gave me a $1,000 Christmas bonus!! They really love having me there and are sad that I'll be leaving soon to start working full-time as a therapist. I've been helping them expand their business with social media, marketing, and vinyl. We put vinyl all around my cousin's truck!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Thankful for Thanksgiving

 13 November - 26 November 2023

I took off the week of Thanksgiving (Wednesday - Saturday) and it was such a nice stretch to not have any clients or work. I was able to relax and feel peace without any worry of upcoming obligations. I got to spend lots of time watching K-dramas and practicing Korean! Thanksgiving day itself was so peaceful and restful. We played racquetball as a family, ate delicious food (I did not feel left out at ALL for once. Thank you, Trader Joes! I got pie crust, stuffing, and gravy from there, so it was easy to make it all up). On Friday, I got to go with Val to watch the Hunger Games prequel movie. It was so dark and twisted, like how the world would be without God in it. I am so incredibly grateful for an all-powerful, just, and merciful God who will conquer all evil! Saturday night we had the elder and sister missionaries over and it was super fun. I talked with one sister about my love of Korean shows and culture, plus my YouTube channels. Gracelyn was sick on Sunday, running hot with a fever! Her eyes were so groggy and tired, the poor little thing. But yeah, overall, it was a great and relaxing Thanksgiving week! I'm a bit tired starting this week back to regular life/schedule because I kinda ruined my sleep schedule while on break, but it's been okay! I did have a cool experience on Saturday at the temple. I got a Korean name to take through my endowment session, and I felt seen and loved from God. It was so cool since I've been studying hard and practicing! I also had a really good phone call with Lucy. She listened to me and validated me and we talked about things we had in common, and it just made my love for her grow and also made me miss her! But I'll see her in a month!

Much love,

Emily Burnham

Gracelyn stealing Grandpa's ice cubes out of his big bubba and munching on them!!

I made homemade Thai Pad and ate it with chopsticks! I was so proud!

No foundation or makeup, my skin after a couple of weeks of doing a skincare routine:

Lol her hair!!!! XD

Pumpkin and blackberry pies! (I had extra pumpkin puree and crumble topping, so I made two small pumpkin crumble dishes. Delish!

I think I played my best yet!

We had a RS activity and learned how to make a sheet pan of Korean Chicken Rice bowls that were DELISH! Plus, good company :)

Glowing Inside and Out

6 November - 12 November 2023

Wow, can't believe I graduate next month! I have all the hours I need, with just four more classes and some discussion posts to finish up. I've felt like I've been in limbo for so long, and it's finally starting to feel real that I'm graduating and then starting my career full-time! I'll get to start saving money to travel to places and be ready for the next phase of my life. We have a sister missionary serving in our YSA stake, Sister Lee, who is from Korea! It was so fun to see her on Sunday and exchange "hellos" in Korean! She said I can come visit her in 2025 (she gets home in a year) and I don't know if she is really serious or not, but I'm gonna keep working on my Korean and save up money to go visit! That would literally be a dream come true! To go and experience their culture and get the insights from a native!! Half of the things on my Christmas list this year are books to help me learn Korean... hehe. So this past week, we had a stake devotional for FHE about the temple, which was really good. I did sealings on Friday and really felt the Spirit and felt peace in the temple. I know I need to continue to go often. I enjoyed going to help out at my cousin's wedding reception Saturday night. My mom is such a trooper and was there for hours helping, and I stepped in during the reception to make sure food was stocked. I really felt a wave of the spirit so powerfully on Sunday at stake conference when they had the service missionaries sing "I know that my Redeemer lives" and then had the congregation join in on the last verse. I kid you not, it felt like angels were singing with us, it was so loud and powerful, and I couldn't even sing because I was overcome with emotion and tears! And I know others had that experience too. It was incredible. Sunday night, we made pizzas. I had been craving them for a while. They were pretty great. Gracelyn made an absolute mess of herself! It was a lot of work to entertain her that night. Also Sean dropped by this week to give me his old microphone that he doesn't use anymore, and I just feel so grateful and blessed that all the things I am wanting are happening. I love seeing my older sister feeling and acting so happy lately. I'm grateful I get to work out my body and be healthy. I realized I am actually super close to being able to do the splits! I went to a girl's night last week and got pampered and got all these free skin care products that the girl was trying to get rid of because she had a lot left over from when she used to sell them, and I've been looking into taking better care of my face and skin, and she probably gave me a hundred or more dollars worth of products to use. And I notice a difference in how nice my skin has been since doing a skin care routine. And I'm just so grateful for Korean dramas and their culture. It has been so motivating and exciting for me, even as my family... Valerie... kind of make fun of me at times for it. It's endearing. So I just feel incredibly blessed. And I set my alarm this week to 6:15am to give myself extra time in the morning to try and have a better and more deep scripture study, so I am sure that is also a reason why I've been happier and feel so blessed. God is good. 

Much love,

Emily Burnham

I've also been doing more with social media for work, so here is one pic I took of the outside of our shop. I created a virtual tour for clients. I think my bosses are really sad that I'm leaving them soon to do therapy full-time, but they are so sweet and will find a good replacement.

See the glow?? No filters, just a good skin care routine ;)

Look at this cute mess: