23 May - 29 May 2022
God is so good. First of all, spoiler alert, FSY training was just the spiritual rejuvenation that I needed! It was so good. Second of all, all of my housing and ride concerns worked out, and they worked out better than I could have pictured. I get to stay with Whitney over her birthday weekend, when her other friends and her boyfriend was out of town. It might have otherwise been a bit lame, but I made her a cake and celebrated with her! And she loved the present I got her! A tortilla blanket! So she can wrap herself up like a burrito!!
But let me start at the beginning of the week! Monday, I had work off. I also had an internship interview in Queen Creek that went really well! Basically, Mr. Harrop said he would love to have me work with him and he could tell I was authentic and all about connections and could bring things to the work place that were lacking. I felt really good about it, except for that I was hesitating on wanting to commit to stay in Arizona. There is a part of me that wants to be free to move and travel, and I'm not a huge fan of the hot weather. The Lord has told me to decide, and it's hard to trust that I am making decisions that will make me happy. But the Lord trusts me, and I need to have more trust in Him and his perfect plan. Not even I can mess it up! Tuesday morning, I flew up to Provo. My previous roommate Mira picked me up from the airport and said I could stay the night. I was so grateful. I stayed in my old apartment, ate Mira's food, slept on the couch, then was off in the morning to check in for FSY training. I waited in a huge line to get my card and bag and shirts, then took a shuttle to Heritage Halls to settle into my room.
So much happened during trainings! So so much. Basically, all of the counselors were assigned to be in a company with mentor counselors over us, and we went through the experience. I walked SO much, and I got a tan line from my watch on the very first day (I forgot to wear sun screen, so I got a little burnt). I was so so so hungry in between meals and dehydrated. I got two bloody noses on the second day. But I got to meet some amazing people and feel the Spirit testify to me that God is aware of me. He has a plan and purpose specifically for me, and that I was meant to do FSY and will meet specific kids and be able to help them. I was reminded that I have power and authority and stewardship to promise blessings and testify of Jesus Christ, and how that brings the spirit so powerfully! That is something I want to do better at. If God has promised something, and His words are sure, then I can make those same promises to others. I felt a spark reignite inside of me. I felt confidence that I can do amazing things with my life. That I can feel power and the spirit no matter where I am as I turn to Christ and create powerful spiritual experiences with my testimony. I realized that we can't always feel the Spirit. Just like we can't always feel like we do when we are first falling in love, because it would literally kill us from the stress it has on our bodies: the pounding heart, the nerves, the anticipation. If that was constant, we'd put too much strain on our body and it would be so unhealthy. I cannot even be in the presence of God in my body without perishing. Joseph Smith had to be translated, and he was so tired all the time from it physically! So, what I am saying is that it is literally impossible to ride the spiritual high all the time, because it overwhelms our senses. But, it is vital to regularly remind ourselves of our spiritual level and rejuvenate/restore the spiritual power we feel by having powerful spiritual experiences. Like general conference, or fast Sunday, or the sacrament, which are regular events that happen that can refresh and vitalize my spirit, if I let them. I need mini FSY experiences every so often to remember my purpose, to remember the Lord has a work for me to do and I CAN do it! He is HERE with me! I know He is! I have felt His presence this past week. I have felt His love and assurance. I know He is proud of me. He has told me that I can create these types of experiences no matter where I am, and I won't miss out on any opportunities because I stay in Arizona instead of moving to Utah. I can create spiritual retreats and classes and mix the gospel in more with therapy. Testify of Christ and promise blessings! I can do that and create Zion no matter where I am. I am so grateful for the Spirit that filled the ballroom when Brother Brad Wilcox spoke. I am grateful for the spirit that filled the classroom in the MARB as our company took turns bearing testimony. I am grateful for eternal relationships and friendships. There is no greater cause to be sleep deprived for!
It was been fun being with Whitney. After checking out of Heritage and eating breakfast, I picked up Valerie's car and went shopping. Then I drove to her apartment and we did laundry, I napped (which was MUCH needed after how sleep deprived I got), and then we went shopping. She took us out for ice cream after. Then we had a girls' night, just the two of us. We did face masks (boy, did my face need it after how burnt and clogged it got from FSY training!!!) and watched the first two episodes of Julie and the Phantoms. Then I went to church with her in the morning, made her a bday cake (gluten-free, because I knew she'd feel bad if I made her a cake that I couldn't eat), and we had people over for tacos and cake. She also loved the burrito blanket I got her!
I've just had so many spiritual promptings and thoughts this week, and it has been SO needed. I want to keep this up, and I know it won't be all the time (like I previously mentioned. There is a reason why our bodies work in cycles and ups-and-downs), but I want to plan events and times where I can touch up on my spirituality when it gets low and over time, I hope that I can be more and more spiritually tolerant. I want to share my insights from conference talks and scriptures. It's so much more motivating and exciting to share insights when you have amazing studies!! Anyways, I hope I adequately captured all my thoughts and emotions so you can get the basic idea of how grateful I am for this past week and the opportunity to be reminded of what it is like to be a missionary without a name tag. To have power and authority from my covenants to minister and help those in need. To promise blessings. To bring the spirit through testimony. Whitney has also inspired me. She goes out street contacting with a group for her calling in the Latina Outreach program. She literally just strikes up conversations and invites them to come to English classes, to come to church, or to read the Book of Mormon. I asked how I could have more missionary experiences, and she said, "Talk to everyone." That's it. I need to talk to people at grocery stores and be genuine and interested in them and their lives, what they're doing. And then I need to testify of my Savior Jesus Christ. I want to do that! So I'm writing down that goal here, and I hope you will hold me to it! Also, she has been talking a lot about her boyfriend, and she commented how things happened so fast. She feels like she has known him forever, and all the painful dating experiences and sting of loneliness has been swept away, as if it never happened. She said that is might feel like a long time, but it'll happen so fast and unexpectedly, almost out of nowhere, which brought me a lot of comfort because even though marriage seems so far away (because dating needs to precede that, haha), the Lord can and will bring the right person into my life when the time is right, and it can happen suddenly, and all the pain will be swept away. So I will move forward with hope and confidence, trusting in the Lord's timing.
Much love,
Emily Burnham
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