Test of Patience

Hola everyone! Unfortunately, I actually haven't been studying or practicing my Spanish lately. But I created a bucket list and have a lot of goals that I want to work on in the coming weeks!

Monday
During class, I checked my score on my paper and was horrified to see my group received a 76%! We'd put in lots of work and effort into it (well, at least I did... can't speak for my whole group), and so I talked with my teacher after class in his office, and he ended up giving three points back, so I ended with a 90%. That helped a lot. I continued to study for my exam tomorrow, and I was not feeling all to confident about it. That evening, I decided to forgo more studying in order to attend Home Evening. We met up at an apartment to watch a movie, and Allie offered to braid my hair for me, which was a huge service to me. However, I didn't realize until after that it was also a huge service to her because it had been relaxing for her and she missed braiding hair.

Tuesday
So the exam was awful. It felt so long and I had to skip around because I didn't feel all that confident in the answers as I wished I could be. It took me double the amount of time as the first exam. I went home and didn't even want to check my score. I just laid on the couch feeling physically ill and tired. That test really took a lot out of me! But I did my best and it showed because when I finally did check my score, I scored a 96%! I'd had a date planned for that evening, so I didn't go to institute, but then the guy ended up having to cancel because the front runner was way behind schedule and he didn't get back in time. It was okay with me because then I could take it easy that evening!

Wednesday
Today kind of sucked. I say that because I didn't have any plans all day. The library and the ice rink were both closed in celebration for Pioneer Day. I guess it was good that I didn't have classes though! I did go out on a run this morning and did some exercises that left me sore for the rest of the week! I tried to do my homework, but nothing was working out online and it was very frustrating! But another guy did ask me out that evening, so I had a good ending to my day. We ate at Zupas and then went to the park to throw around a frisbee. And I wasn't as bad as I thought I was!

Thursday
After basketball class, I got ready for my job interview. I tried out to be a TRC actor at the MTC, but unfortunately, I don't think I did very well. I am just not good at lying or acting. Oh well, guess I'll just keep doing early morning custodial for the next two years! (Insert lots of crying here). Afterwards, I went shopping at Sprouts and Walmart, then came home to unload. Shopping is so tiring!

Friday
I brought my bike to work for my boss Ben to fix, but we realized I needed to buy a new innertube! It wasn't just a flat tire, but the valve came off half-way! I sat through class, stayed after to get help with an assignment, which I then went to the library to complete. Then I remembered that I needed to still take my basketball final, so I went and got that out of the way, scoring higher on it than last term! I also went ice-skating, and the guy who sold me the saints is such a good Samaritan! My left blade had come loose, so he drove 15 minutes down to the rink to straighten it out for my and make sure my skates were in good position. Plus he gave me a free lacing-hook so I can tighten my skates easier! But I think I tightened them too well and didn't have enough flex because I took a pretty hard fall and hit the back of my head, so I gave up for the rest of the evening and went home to ice my head. Don't worry, I didn't have a concussion!

Saturday
I woke about less than 20 minutes before it was time to go clean the church. I kinda forgot it was our turn to do that... oops. I got ready quick as lightning and literally ran down to the church. I was assigned to clean bathrooms with Valerie, and I ran home again to get some rags (because otherwise you gotta clean toilets with paper towels, which doesn't really cut it) and ran back to the church. Then I got ready to go to the temple, but the parking spots were full and so many cars where circling around to find spots. I drove down to the library and returned the books I had and picked out some new ones, and then walked to the temple for the next session. It was a full session and took a while, but it was much needed. I'd been feeling so angry and lonely and sad, and as I prayed and poured out my heart to God in the chapel, I found peace and answers. I had an idea enter my mind of actions I can take to resolve the problems I was having. Afterwards, I ate a late lunch and went ice skating. It was much better than yesterday (I didn't fall), and I changed and ran (again, literally) over to the water park next door to meet up with Valerie. We did some different slides, and I got wip-lash from one of the swinging bars you can jump off with. We went home and got changed, ate a quick dinner, then went to Brooker's ice-cream place. Val wanted to go again before she leaves back to AZ in two weeks. The blind-date to the ball never happened. I never heard from anyone about it... until an hour before the thing started. So yeah, that was a bit disappointing, but I got to spend some quality time with Valerie that evening instead.

Sunday
Before church this morning, I tried to record a video because I'm wanting to start a new YouTube channel, but I do not have good lighting or equipment... So I don't know how all of that is going to work out. Church was really good because the talks reminded me that there are so many good things to do, and never enough time to do them. I really need to prioritize my goals and make sure I am doing what is most important. We had the Bishopbric's wives teach Relief Society, which was really good... but my stomach kept making the loudest, longest growling noises ever! Yikes! And I promise I did eat breakfast! For lunch, we had the apartment of girls across from us come over. It was quite crowded but a fun time!

Here is something I was pondering this week: God's timing is good, though it is not our timing. As humans, we want to have things instantly. God holds out sometimes because He knows the process of waiting can humble us and make us even more grateful for the answer or blessing when it comes. Then we cherish it even more. However, God often doesn't tell us what His timetable is, and I know there is a specific reason. If He told us exactly how long we'd have to wait for some blessings we really want (marriage, kids, a good house or job), we'd quit before it ever happened. If you knew you had to wait until 37 to get married, wouldn't you not bother dating as much and not enjoy the process? You'd forget to live in the moment and do things that will prepare you so you're ready for marriage when it does happen. Or if you were told to move to find a new job, but after moving, you wouldn't get that new job until a year later, and your family is just struggling to get by in the meantime. You'd probably not move right away, and you'd miss out realizing out strong you really could be, all the people God needed you to meet, and the experiences He needed you to gain. He truly shines a light directly in front of us, asking us to just take one more step. This way we continue on, baby steps at a time, not feeling overwhelmed because we constantly have hope of a reprieve being right around the corner.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

The Masked Burglar

Overall, I had a fantastic week! The Lord is blessing me everyday and increasing my understanding little by little. I listened to an audiobook this week entitled, "Silent Souls Weeping," and it really opened my eyes to some of the things people with depression struggle with. I just want to be there for people, and maybe that's a direction I want to pursue when I become a therapist.

Monday
I awoke super early to catch my flight back to Provo. My lovely mom dropped my off, and my awesome sister picked me up! I missed basketball class, but I was able to make it to my research class. Even though I felt rather plane-sick. I felt so exhausted for the rest of the day, so I did fit a nap into my day! For Home Evening that evening, our ward met in the chapel and we had a guest speaker talk to us about Mental Health.

Tuesday
Well, I forgot my keys when going to work, so when I arrived home after class, I found myself locked out of my apartment! Valerie and Miranda were at work! I decided I could bike down to the public library and get a card with them, something that has been on my to-do list for weeks! That was an adventure. Then Valerie sent me a video that taught be how to pop out a screen and break in through the window. So I did. Yup, now I have super awesome ninja skills. That was a relief! I've been working on reading my textbook and studying for my exam coming up. That evening, I went to institute with Valerie.

Wednesday
Work, class, studying. I've been feeling more productive lately. I also went ice skating on my own and I am slowly (very, very slowly) improving on my basic tricks (and just my balance in general). It's a super fun hobby for me!

Thursday
I studied in the library after basketball class for an hour, then went to the BYU bookstore and found a good deal on shorts (50% off, plus I had a $10 gift card), and then went back to study for a bit before leaving to go shopping at Sprouts and Walmart. I bought lots of yummy fruit :). I also ordered some covers for the blades on my ice-skates!

Friday
After getting home from work and class, I decided I didn't want to study today, so I read my library book before attending the TA review. My brain can only learn so much, so when I got home, I read some more. I decided to go to the ward temple trip, even though I had been planning on just going to the temple tomorrow morning. It was good. I got to do initiatories with Valerie and a bunch of other sisters in our ward. While waiting for my turn, I sat pondering the scriptures and had some good insights about what to do for my lesson I'm teaching on Sunday!

Saturday
I attempted to go to the temple to do an endowment session in the morning, but with the Provo temple being closed, the Provo City Center temple was so crowded, I drove around for 10 minutes trying to find parking and couldn't. Finally I gave up and stopped by the library on my way home to drop off a book. At least I was able to go yesterday with the ward! In the afternoon, I went ice-skating by myself (which can sometimes be awkward when there are couples there on a date, and you happen to vaguely know one of them, and they ask if you're also on a date, but no, so you have to mention you came by yourself). I really enjoy, though! That evening I went to the stake activity with my roommates at the Provo Rec Center, where we swam in the tide pool (since the water slides were out of service). The funniest part of my whole week: while we were swimming, this super socially awkward guy in the stake swims over and asks us all our names. Everyone else is kind of ignoring him, and since I'm close by, he asks me what my major is. I tell him I'm a Psych major, and he says, "Oh, you're one of those psychos!" I had no idea had to respond. I was thinking to myself, "Is this guy for real? He has major issues..." and so I responded, "Actually, I have an anti-social disorder." And then I discretely swam away from him with Val behind. My group of friends laughed hysterically at my response.

Sunday
I taught Sunday School today, and even though each time I feel a little nervous, I trust that God has led me with what to teach. The Spirit was strong during the lesson, and the way I taught was to ask questions about each topic I felt inspired to bring up, sparking a class conversation. I also shared some stories that applied, and one girl came to talk with me after class and said that what I'd mentioned was exactly how she had felt and she really appreciated it. I'm so glad to know I can help my peers out with my calling. It is such an honor and I love teaching. After church, we had a Come, Follow Me study group that went really well. Whitney invited me over to hang with her and her guy friends, so I went for a bit and ended up leaving with a blind date to a ball this upcoming Saturday... so that was interesting! That evening, we were invited over for dinner at the other Relief Society President's apartment. The food was really good, and I enjoyed getting to know the girls in that apartment better. Plus, I mentioned how I had a blind date to a ball this Saturday and one girl gave me some masks for me and my friends to wear if we wanted! Afterwards, we went home and finished all the preparations for serving dinner for Doug, Heidi, Andrew, and Zeb. They arrived a little late, but they really enjoyed the food! We ate again with them (double dinners are the best!) and then played games with them afterwards. We had such an enjoyable time that I was later than usual getting to bed.




One thing I've thought a lot about this week is the stigma behind admitting you have depression or some other mental illness. What I find so interesting is that 1 in 5 adults will have depression. These mental and emotional sicknesses that we get literally mess with the chemicals in our bodies, creating imbalances that influence the way we feel and think. An individual can feel so negative and hopeless and full of despair. They may be attending the temple, reading their scriptures, praying, yet feeling nothing. That is not because they are abandoned, but  because their ability to feel has been blocked off, like clouds covering the bright sun. The sun is still there, but your body sends clouds to hinder its light, warmth, and influence. These people, misunderstanding this, may assume God has abandoned them because they are unworthy and unrighteous. Not doing enough. This only adds to their despair.
For all of you out there who feel like you will never be happy again, or like you are not enough, hang in there. Keep pressing forward. There is light on the other side of those clouds, and they will eventually disperse. Meanwhile, turn to loved ones and seek out the professional help you need.

Love y'all mucho mucho mucho!
Emily Burnham

P.S. Disclaimer: "The Masked Burglar" was a title created just to draw attention. I did not actually run into any burglars wearing a mask, though I was given a bunch of masks and had to break into my own apartment like a burglar this week :)

Weekend in AZ

Howdy, my few faithful readers! I had an absolutely amazing weekend because I was able to spend time at home with my family in Arizona.

Monday
I finally went back to work and was tired. It will take a while to get back in the flow of my schedule after being sick threw it off so much. I went to basketball class, and then my Psych 310 class. This weekend we will be launching our survey for our research project. I've spent so many hours already working on it! After class, I went and took a test. Surprisingly, it took me less than an hour, and I did very well! That evening, I went to a Family Home Evening that my mission president was holding. He was in Lehi, UT visiting one of his children. It was a hassle getting there because I forgot that I was super low on gas, and then a road was closed, so I got stuck in some traffic for a frustratingly long time. But I made it there in good timing and in one piece! It was so weird to see my mission president and his wife outside of the mission, wearing normal street clothes without their tags. And to see all the previous missionaries similarly attired, some with a spouse or fiancé. And my mission president greeted me with a hug and a "Hi, Emily!" Definitely strange at first! But I got to take a few minutes to catch up with him. They bought a house in Gilbert, AZ!! Close by where my family lives! It was a wonderful evening, albeit a little strange/nostalgic.

Tuesday
I am still so tired after work and basketball. I definitely took a nap after class :). I went to an interview for a leadership position in a club, "Dealing with Divorce," (which I did not get). I really enjoy going to institute in the evenings and learning more about the gospel. Even though I am often thinking to myself, "Ugh, I don't want to go" because I'm lazy and don't want to walk to the church building, I'm always glad I go.

Wednesday
I went to work, then basketball. My teacher was grateful for the effort I am making to speak up and talk on the court, since everyone else is quiet and keeps to themselves. My goal is to learn everyone's name and cheer them up to help the class feel more bonded and connected. I lucked out last term with an amazing class, and this term the group of us is not as tight-knit, unfortunately. Since Valerie was gone, I carried over the treats she had made on Sunday to the Relief Society spa night that evening! I'd invited some girls to go with me, and they showed up! It was so good talking with them, and I felt like a good ministering sister and disciple of Christ. Ironically, we just had treats and watched a movie—no one actually painted their nails!

Thursday
I noticed after my basketball class, with complete shock and horror, that our hot water heater broke. But I was already in the middle of showering, so all I could do was brave the ice-cold like a soldier! I met Valerie for lunch at PF Chang's because I haven't seen her all week! With her working the ATC camps overnight and then going straight to her day job, she is literally gone 24/7. It was great talking with her, though the food wasn't very impressive, especially for the price I paid. After lunch, I walked around the mall and noticed that Macey's was closing down, so everything was marked down in there. I got four items of nice clothing at a super discounted price! Then I went to Sprouts and got some fruit and found gluten/dairy/egg-free frozen waffles! Discounted ;). Yummy. I also forced myself not to work on my research project, because my teacher is giving us all of class tomorrow, and there wasn't much left to do anyways!

Friday
Today was a good day. After class, I had wanted to go ice-skating, but the rink was closed! Fortunately, I was able to use that time to go and do an endowment session at the Provo City Center Temple. The parking garage was so full and crowded. I was worried the session would be packed, so I was praying I would get in. It actually wasn't that full, so I easily got in. And I also got to sit next to a friend from the ward, Emily Allen! During my time in the temple today, I felt so overwhelmed with my weaknesses and sins. I felt unworthy to be at the temple, even though I knew that was something Satan would tell me to discourage me from going. As I thought about the story of Adam and Eve, I remembered how merciful God was to them after their transgression, and how after everything, they were glad to have fallen because their eyes were open and they had children. They grew as a result of their sin. I realize that even though sinning is bad, as we choose to repent and learn from it, we grow in perspective and knowledge. It can be for our good, but only because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My friend Kathrine drove me to the Provo airport that evening to fly home to Arizona. Stepping off the airplane that evening felt like stepping into a sauna (though much less wet, since AZ is very dry)! The flight was uneventful, and my parents came to pick me up in their new electric car! It's always so weird at first to see my family after not seeing them for such a long time. They always change in little ways, but overall are very familiar and comforting. When I got home, I was surprised (yet again) how tall my brother Sean has become. Granted, I'd only seen him for just over a month after getting home from my mission before I headed up to college, and then six months passed again. Sweet little Lucy offered up her big bed for me to sleep on!

Saturday
I had today planned for weeks now, and it went just how I'd hoped. I was able to leave that morning with mom to go to a shoe store and get new running shoes. Then we went to the Shoe Carnival and my mom bought me some new sandals. We went out for lunch at Zupas, and then drove to DI, where I found some shorts that fit perfectly, along with a few summery shirts. Lucy and I painted in the afternoon, and I chose a scene with fire-flies. That evening, we went to Garcias with Grandpa Jim, where I ate some yummy stake tacos! I loved how easily my little sister and I got along, and I enjoyed getting to talk with my mom about things in person.

Sunday
I went with my mother and father to my mission president's homecoming in Mesa. Fortunately, it was only a 15 minute drive from our house! When I showed up, I saw two full rows of returned missionaries sitting on chairs. I saw my previous mission companion, Sister Jarvis, again! I was amazed by just how many individuals came to support President Smith and Sister Smith. I loved hearing the Southern references and jokes in both of their talks. Yes, you really do get called, "Baby," "Honey," and "Sugar" by complete strangers! And after shopping at Walmart, I was always told, "Have a blessed day!" I do miss beautiful roads (often dirt) with canopies of trees. They both also testified how God knows us individually and orchestrates wondrous miracles for us to know that—putting missionaries in the right place at the right time, things that are too coincidental to be coincidences. Truly, Heavenly Father has never forsaken us.
We made it back home and went to our home ward, where I was privileged to hear my mom speak! Now, is that a coincidence? My mom getting asked to speak the one weekend I happened to be flying home this year? I was glad to be there to listen and be strengthened by her testimony of this gospel. I also enjoyed surprising the Hughes family with my presense. Little Ben and Hudson ran and gave me the BIGGEST hugs ever when they saw me! It was so cute! I sure love that family so much :)
After church and a nap, we ate a delicious home-cooked meal of roast and potatoes! My mom even made dessert for me and the family. We also went over to Grandma and Grandpa Burnham's home to visit all the cousins and family that I haven't seen in six months. It's so weird to face the facts that I'm an adult now. I do my own cooking and cleaning, and I see my family just a few times a year! But I was so spoiled and pampered getting to be home this weekend, with my mom cooking for me and taking good care of me. She is a super star. My sister also painted a mini-canvas of me ice-skating in Utah as a gift to take back with me. And she let me dress her up and take pictures of her! I did her hair and make-up for church, and she looked so cute!

Much love,
Emily Burnham

    P.S. I am still partial to Arizona sunsets!

Happy Fourth!

Howdy friends, family, and everyone else! Wow, what a week. I was so blessed that I didn't have a lot of pressing things due this week because my sickness held on with a vengeance this entire week! I spent a ridiculous amount of time resting, drinking liquids, and then consequently having to use the bathroom ;).

Monday
I got to sleep in, since I didn't have to go in for work. I also didn't feel up to going to basketball class, but I made sure to rest and feel up to going to my psychology class at 10am. For home evening, we split into groups and dropped/flung paint down from the second story balcony of an apartment complex, trying to create an American flag on a canvas below. It was quite difficult! But we all had an enjoyable time!

Tuesday
Again, I missed work. I'd been hoping to go in today, but I woke up multiple times throughout the night and felt awful. I rested ALL day. Even when I wanted to do something, I forced myself to relax because I want to heal as quickly as possible. I had to cancel going ice-skating today, which was sad, but for the best.

Wednesday
I went in for work, even though I felt awful and had to blow my nose a lot. I finished my work as quick as I could and went back home to bed before I had to go to class at 10am. Blah.

Thursday
It was so nice to sleep in and not have to feel bad for missing work or basketball class... because it was the Fourth of July! I had to go shopping today, but still tried to take it easy. Then... I had to work concessions that evening at the Stadium of Fire, featuring Keith Urban! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. For five hours, I rented out chairs, sold water and kettle corn, and got to see bits of the show! And I almost didn't get paid for any of it because the machine didn't register when I clocked in! But I got it all taken care of. My favorite part of the night was when this old women walked up to the second floor

Friday
Ugh. I technically at work at 5am, but I didn't go in until 6am so I could get some more sleep, since I didn't get to sleep until almost 1am. I finished as QUICK as lightning so I could go home and sleep a bit more before  going to class and taking a quiz. That afternoon, I went ice-skating by myself for two hours, which was nice. In the evening, I went with Valerie to a hot balloon festival, where they lit up rows of hot air balloons to the beat of some songs they played.

Saturday
I got to sleep in again! I still felt sick, but who could blame my body after the crazy past few days?! I realized BOTH temples in Provo were closed! What?! So I went to the next nearest one, the Timpanogos temple, with Valerie. We went and did some sealings, since I had five family names that needed to be done. It was a great experience, and the temple was packed! I loved watching the different couples kneel across from each other and gaze at one another with such love and tenderness. The world today emphasizes so much lust and physical aspects of love, but the love that you see in these couples at the temple is deep, true love and charity.

Sunday
Wow, I am finally feeling better! Testimony meeting was wonderful. The theme of the meeting took emphasized Heavenly Father's infinite and individual love for each of us, and that we are all enough and just need to keep on trying. This past week, I was prompted to search through my previous scripture study notes, and I came across what I wrote from down from a Zone Conference: "Weakness is not a sin." This really struck me because I will find myself often repeating in my prayers, "Please forgive me for my sins," because I'm not perfect, but I also don't always recognize specific sins I'm making. All I feel is this sense of falling short. I feel weak. However, God has said that He gives unto us weakness. Weakness is not the same as sinning, but rather is a way to keep us humble and turning back to God. We must overcome them through the grace of God to be perfect one day, but meanwhile, we needn't feel so guilty all the time for falling short. We are not purposefully trying to sin all the time; we are falling subject to our weaknesses we were given. And we have God's promise of sufficient help in overcoming them.

Much love,
Emily Burnham

Some Sick Skates!

Howdy howdy! What a week! I had rough start to the week, then an amazing middle of the week, and then came down sick... quite the roller-coaster, I'd say!

Monday
Mondays and Wednesdays are so long because I have work from 5am to 9am, basketball from 9 to 10am, and then class from 10am to noon! So I have to pack a lunch and snack/lunch! Then I go home and eat and study my scriptures and rest. But it is nice having the rest of the day to myself! This evening for Home Evening, we had a ward Amazing Race, and I drove around Provo with Miranda, Valerie, Emily Allen, and this other girl, looking for clues! Often times, my group made me get out and run ahead to fetch the clues! At the end, we met in a field by the temple and had tacos. It was super fun!

Tuesday
Work. Basketball. Readings and relaxing that afternoon. Then institute that evening. I really love the class we are going to, "Women in the Scriptures." We are in the Old Testament right now, and I love learning more in depth about women I never really knew much about. They all really seem to come alive!

Wednesday
After classes, I was talking to my mom about how I wished I had my ice-skates already. She said to follow up with the guy I ordered them from. I was a missionary, after all! I texted him, asking when they would be in, and he responded that they were there! I made plans to go see him that late afternoon. While I was waiting to go, I worked on Photoshop, manipulating heights of men for our research project. We are trying to test if women find taller men more attractive than shorter men. Then I went to get my skates, and the coolest thing ever happened. So, when I showed up, he asked if I was the one he had been talking to about the "buy-out" skates. He pulled out two boxes of skates--the ones I had originally ordered that came, and then another box that was just the boot of a skate. I tried both on, but was mentally leaning towards the one that already had the blade and was ready to go. But then he said if I liked the feel of the one without the blade, I should go with that one because it was a nicer quality boot and would last longer and be more supportive. He had gotten it on sale because they were trying to get the next model in, but it was originally $400! And then he said he also got a smokin' deal on a set of blades to go with them, so he'd sell me the set for $150 (what I would have spent for the other skates). The blades were $300 originally! So I got a $700 set-up for only $150, much better quality than I originally would have gotten! Plus, he adjusted the ankle and fit it so it didn't crush my bone, and he put the blades on after sharpening them for free! I felt so blessed! God is really watching out for me! I was so excited and wanted to try them out that night, but my friend Whitney called and said her hot-water was out, and if she could use my shower that evening. The next open-time to skate is Friday afternoon!

Thursday
After work and basketball this morning, I spent a few hours down at the library, working on manipulating photos some more for my class project. Learning how to use the basics of Photoshop in 9th grade has been invaluable!

Friday
Today was the highlight of my whole week! I got to go ice-skating in my new skates this afternoon, and Olivia (a friend from work) met up with me there! She had to leave early, but I stayed the whole time. While my skates hurt a bit and need to be broken in, they are so amazing! I can already do much better tricks in them and feel more confident that they will support me! That evening, I went to Sammy's birthday party, and she had a full-on BBQ for all her friends and family. There was so so so much food! And I could eat most of it! And I probably did eat most of it!! I was extremely stuffed by the end of the night :) I left early and drove with Kathrine over to the Bishop's home for movie night, where we watched The Greatest Showman. I forgot how many good songs are in that movie. It was only my second time seeing it.

Saturday
You know that feeling when you wake up sick? That was me this morning. It hit me out of the blue, but I had a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I guess I partied a bit too hard this weekend! I took it pretty easy today. I went to the temple with Valerie, but then stayed home and relaxed for the rest of the day. I tried to do some homework but came down with the worst headache after an hour and had to take a nap. I was so sad because I wanted to go ice-skating again SO BAD! But I wasn't feeling up to it physically and didn't want to make myself more sick.

Sunday
I was still feeling lousy today, so I took it easy. Besides going to church, the only other productive thing I did today was host a Come, Follow Me study group in the evening. Kathrine (from the ward) and Vincent (a friend from work) came, plus Valerie was there. After about 20 minutes of studying, I see this guy from the ward walking to the door... we had said he could come but didn't clarify what time, so he came at 7:30, even though we changed the time to 7pm. Yikes! I hurriedly told everyone to pretend that we were just starting, so they closed up their books and scriptures as I went to answer the door. We pulled it off... with a mild giggle-attack that left him wondering what was happening. Let's just say, I am a terrible actress! Also, I made the most epic birthday PowerPoint to send to Sister Stites, the missionary I trained. And Val made me stay up to play a game with her, even though I was so tired. I had already texted my boss that I was sick and wouldn't be able to go into work tomorrow morning.

Y-Group Leader

Howdy fam and friends! What another wonderful and amazing week! Just as classes finished up, they are already starting again. So quick! I am definitely not going to do year-round next year, because it can be very tiring and taxing!

Monday
I had my last basketball class for Spring term today, and our team won! I was somehow on fire today and made so many epic shots! I also went to a two hour review for my psych class, and then Home Evening, which was dinner at our Bishop's home. Yum! It was the fourth time in a row seeing our Bishop and his wife, which was super cool! I truly love them and am so grateful for them.

Tuesday
I studied some more today, and then because institute was cancelled due to finals, Valerie hosted a game night!! A lot of people showed up, including my friend Olivia from work! She is super chill. We had a fun time. I also got to go and see Levi's Boba bus that he bought and renovated. I hope his business does well!

Wednesday
I studied for and took my Psychological Testing final today. It was a relief to get it out of the way, even though I did not do as well as I had hoped for. It's also crazy that I don't get to see Valerie until the evenings! I've been going to work this week from 5am to 9:30am, and Valerie leaves for work before I get back. She works until after 5pm! I really cherish the evenings we get to spend together.

Thursday
Today was a very relaxed day. Finals were finished. I went shopping and then painted a giant sign that afternoon. It's a bulletin board, but I wanted it to have a cool background. It didn't turn out just quite how I was expecting, but it wasn't too bad, either!



Friday
I had signed up to be a group leader for New Student Orientation (NSO), so I left right after work to go. I accidentally missed the first hour when I was supposed to sign in, and I somehow got moved to a new group, but it was cool because I got two T-shirts, plus I was able to join the group of two guys from my Spring basketball class! The crazy thing was that my freshman roommate Bailey's younger sister ended up in that group, so I got to see her again! I really enjoyed serving, even though it was a long day! It really gave me purpose and joy to help others and look at campus through fresh eyes. I also got a voucher to buy something at the Cougar Café, so I ordered from Aloha Plate and got this giant dish of pork and rice, plus a yuppy mango-pineapple Dole whip. I got home around 3pm and went over to hang out with my friend Whitney. We all went to a pool party (but didn't actually swim) and then went to get free Jamba Juice! Then we went back to her apartment complex and played basketball. I got home just in time for dinner. What a tiring, but rewarding, day!



Saturday
It was so nice not to go to work this morning! I got ready for the second day of NSO, meeting my group of kids on campus at 8:30am. We went to the JSB for the devotional, which I really liked. It was a good reminder that I am at BYU for a specific reason, and I have access to so many tools and resources during my time here. The rest of the day was full of giving the freshmen a tour around campus, with a lunch break in the middle. I ate grilled chicken and fries from Chick-Fil-A (because they were out of salads). I really enjoyed the tour because I actually learned some new things from the presentations about some free stuff we have access to! When I got home around 3pm, Valerie and I went to do initatories at the Provo Temple.  That evening, I finished my readings for class, and then took Valerie with me to attend the NSO finale. We played a couple games, but it was kind of lame, so we grabbed some food and left.

Sunday
I travelled to Heber City this morning to attend the home coming of Sister Alyssa Caldwell! I was so happy to see Sister Morgan Black there as well, and it was so fun to catch up with her. After sacrament meeting, I also got to see Sister Bowman and her cute mom, so it was a mini FTM reunion! I attended Relief Society and prayed for inspiration of an insight I could share, and then followed the Spirit and spoke up, which was really cool. I don't always think I sound very eloquent when speaking--in fact, I know I don't. I stumble over my words and have a hard time trying to convey my thoughts and feelings. But I'm sincere and I know the Spirit can help communicate the things that I cannot. Afterwards, I went over to Alyssa's home for a luncheon and ate some very delicious food. Sister Caldwell (Alyssa's mom) made banana bread and sent me home with it! She is so kind! I drove back to Provo and made it back just in time to attend Reconnect at the Bishop's home, even though I was so exhausted and desperately needed a nap.

I am so grateful for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. While many people have been brought back from the dead, according to the scriptures, what Christ did was unprecedented. He did not simply come back to life. He had power and authority to become an eternal physical being, never again to be corrupted by time and physical affliction. He is eternal, constant, and permanent. So many other things in this life come and go, including loved ones. But because of Jesus Christ, we can live again. Eternally. Together.

When Your Bishop Stalks You...

Hola, mi amigos! My goals have been going very well! I've been practicing Spanish all week long and writing every single day! It truly has brought a sense of meaning and purpose in my life to set meaningful goals and to work hard at them.

Monday
For some reason, I woke up around 3:30am and had the hardest time going back to sleep. So finally, I just got up and went into work early, at 4:40am. I had my basketball class, then came home and worked on homework. I went to my Psychological Testing class, which was very inspiring. We talked about the essential importance of practice in developing our talents. Some people may have natural talents, but without deliberate practice, they will never obtain "expert" level. My teacher made a comment that stuck with me, "Happiness is found in working hard at something you find valuable." And because we live in a world where it is so easy to be distracted and to procrastinate, we must schedule into our day the things that matter most, and work on them no matter what else arises. That evening, we met up with our new Home Evening groups and got to know each other.

Tuesday
Work has been fine as long as I have something to listen to as I'm working. Thank goodness for the Deseret Bookshelf app! I had basketball class again, and my team lost, but I scored the first three or four baskets! But mostly because of another really good kid. I worked on some readings for tomorrow, and that evening, went to institute. So, our regular teacher was gone and had called a lady to substitute. She was very knowledgeable about Jewish history and the Bible, so I learned a lot, but it was more like a lecture than an interactive learning experience. Everyone has different teaching styles, but I guess I prefer letting the class speak up and share insights, because I feel that is when everyone learns the most, from each other and the Spirit.

Wednesday
We won our basketball game today, but only because we were being crushed and our teacher jumped in to help our team! He scored a couple three-pointers to help us catch up. I also officially ordered a very nice, and expensive, pair of figure skates today. That is going to be my hobby! And with the pass I bought, I get free admission for the next few months! Today was my last day of class for Psychological Testing, and we talked about psychopaths and differentiating between sane and insane people. Is a person insane or can their environment make the insane? Now that I am in my major classes (I only have a couple of generals left to take), my classes are super interesting! Although our discussion was interesting, we went overtime and had less time in lab to work on our paper. This was inconvenient because one girl didn't do her part fully, so we had to all step in and do it for her. Then the wi-fi in the building decided to stop working... so I had the burden of finishing up the assignment once I got home, which was due before midnight. I got home later than usual, rushed over for ward prayer, couldn't stay for the games, rushed back home and finished writing and editing the paper before bed. And yup, I skipped dinner... yikes. But hey! I classes are over now and the future is bright!

Thursday
I felt exhausted today, between work, basketball, and shopping. And I legit have so many disgusting bruises from basketball class this week! We've been playing pretty rough, plus I bruise easy, and so my legs looked atrocious after class today. I need to stop jumping on the ground after the ball! I also had to return some items and buy groceries, but I wasn't prepared for rain to come pouring down in the middle of my shopping adventure! I had planned to get a car wash, but didn't want to look ridiculous, so after I got home and put my groceries away, I went down into our parking garage and washed my car by hand. It is looking nice and spiffy now. That evening, Valerie planned a fun activity for Relief Society sisters to stop by and sign hearts that we can hang up for Father's Day on the guy's doors, but only one person came! She had the cutest set-up though.

Friday
I tried to get to work early today because I had to leave at 8am to go to a Y-group leader service training for New Student Orientation next weekend. I volunteered because I wanted to force myself to be more social. Luckily, I packed my own breakfast. The training was good, and I talked with a couple of people. Two guys from my basketball class were there, so I was able to chat with them for a bit! I couldn't eat the lunch they had, so I left just before noon and went home to eat. That evening, Valerie and I went to the Disney showing of Newsies in Orem. We got free tickets! I had accidentally cut my fingers while opening a can for dinner, so I had my fingers wrapped up pretty good. We randomly got texts from Bishop and his wife asking what happened to my fingers. We were so confused as to how they knew. I responded, and they replied back that they hoped we enjoyed the rest of the play. Now we were really confused. How did they know? Who told them? Well, we found out at intermission that they were there watching the play too! We had a good laugh about that.

Saturday
This morning I awoke feeling so tired and groggy. My roommates and I got ready for the ward temple trip this morning, and it was funny because Valerie and I ended up sitting next to the Osborns in the chapel, so now it is a running joke that they are stalking us! After the temple, I got to see my trainer from my mission! Vanessa Wall was in town for EFY training, so she came over when I was home and we talked for two hours before I took her to the front runner station so she could go home. We reenacted a photo that was taken from me being in training over two years ago! I spent the afternoon writing. I'm mostly just working on creative writing, like stories, and my little sister wants me to finish a book to gift her with at her next birthday...

Sunday
I awoke this morning and finished preparing my lesson for Sunday School! I was actually very excited to teach. I had many inspired ideas throughout the week, but also, I was blessed with the honor of teaching on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. After church, I was able to receive a priesthood blessing from Bishop Osborn. I had been studying my scriptures earlier this week, pondering about times when I felt close to Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. On my mission, I had some sacred experiences with receiving blessings in my hard moments that kept me going, and I had been feeling lately that I needed more direction and guidance in my life, plus some reassurance and comfort. It was exactly what I needed, if maybe not what I wanted, to hear. I need to be patient and wait for the Lord's timing. But I'm humbled to have His direction and will do my best to live worthy so all the blessings I have been promised will come true.

This week I was thinking about the question, "How can I cheerfully submit my will to God?" Just like Jesus Christ did, in His greatest moment of uncertainty, said unto the Father, "Nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done." I've always thought that either our will is aligned with God or it is not. However, Elder Neal A. Maxwell shared a more nuanced perspective, "As you submit your wills to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don’t wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it!" Wills. Not a singular will, but many wills. We each have many, many desires and wants and wishes. Some of them we cannot currently fathom giving up. But just as everything else in the gospel is a process, turning our full will over to God happens piece by piece, small sacrifice by small sacrifice, will by will. As we continually turn over small pieces of our will to Him every day, with His help, we will one day (maybe a thousand years from now) accomplish the impossible: turning every single one of our wills over to Him. What small sacrifice can I make this week to give up one of my wills to God?

Love,
Emily Burnham